Talk:Ormond Beatty/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 17:50, 15 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! I'll be reviewing this article to help reduce the good article nomination backlog and to gain points in the WP:WIKICUP. Although quid pro quo is not required, if you fancy returning the favor, I have a list of articles in need of review here. — Ghost River 17:50, 15 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

"An 1835 graduate of Centre ~~himself~~,"
"with the church" feels vague (and I usually here in the Catholic context of the capital-C Church); would "in religious affairs" work, or is that misleading?
In the infobox, you can use the marriage template to add marriage & widower dates to his three wives
Shouldn't his MA be in the infobox as well?
- All four done; with the marriage templates, I could only find exact years for one of his marriages, so I added that. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 14:39, 18 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Early life and education

Should mention birthdate here with a reference
Reference (Family Papers) does not specify that Ormond was the fourth of five children or that he was born in Mason County, although the latter may be inferred
"Beatty's father" → "His father"
Maybe specify to whom he lost in the 1838 race
""at the last moment and by the merest chance."" → ""at the last moment and by the merest chance"." per MOS:LQ
- Four of five done; I have not been able to find Beatty's father's opponent in 1838, but I will add that if and when I can. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 14:45, 18 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Career

"After finishing his studies at Yale,"
"and became a professor of chemistry and natural philosophy"
The sentence about the Civil War is very long and the semicolon can probably be swapped for a period & sentence break
Should Board of Trustees be capitalized?
Not immediately obvious what the relevance is of the Old Main Building; maybe mention if it was one of his first acts as president
Also move order of that sentence around so it's chronological (i.e. built then, then demolished, now Crounse Hall is here)
though the board of trustees required him to lecture only one hour per day in an effort to retain him as part of the faculty. I'm thinking this means he wanted to retire but they said "Hey, we'll let you teach one hour a week instead". Am I right in this? If so, it should be clarified
- All done - is sentence in the last point clearer? PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 20:30, 18 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Personal life and death

Specify in this section that his daughter and son-in-law's home was in Danville, as the infobox says
MOS:LQ with the last sentence, and there should be spaces around the ellipses per MOS:ELLIPSIS
- Both done. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 20:34, 18 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

References

Good

General comments

Image is public domain and obviously relevant
No stability concerns in the revision history
Earwig score looks good, everything falls under WP:LIMITED

Putting on hold for now. Feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished! — Ghost River 21:50, 16 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GhostRiver, thanks very much for the review! I believe I've addressed everything I can, though there are a couple of things I wasn't able to. Let me know if there's anything else that needs changing/improving. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 20:35, 18 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
GhostRiver - just a quick reminder ping, no rush if you’re busy! PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 17:09, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
- Ah, whoops! This totally fell off my radar – I lost a few days to the stomach flu (consequences of working in the petri dish that is public high school) and then a window fell on my hand. Everything looks good, happy to pass! — Ghost River 22:00, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  @GhostRiver Oh my - hope you start feeling better shortly! Again, I appreciate the review. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 16:16, 23 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]