Talk:Once Upon a Time in Hollywood/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 13:54, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Basic Stuff

References

Archive all archivable sources. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 13:59, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- Current progress:
  89.5%

@Rusted AutoParts: You have until November 14 to complete this final improvement or I will have to fail this article completely. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 20:04, 7 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Some Dude From North Carolina: Sorry for the late response. I just want to clarify that the archiving is the last remaining step needing taking. I’ve been not as involved here as it seemed @Samurai Kung fu Cowboy: was spearheading this. Rusted AutoParts 06:02, 9 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Rusted AutoParts: To answer your question, yes, archiving is the last step. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 13:17, 9 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Some Dude From North Carolina: All archivable sources have been archived. Rusted AutoParts 21:35, 9 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Rusted AutoParts: According to the WayBack Machine, references 107-116 can all be archived as well. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 21:45, 9 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

They would've archived when i ran the bot through. Rusted AutoParts 22:06, 9 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Rusted AutoParts: Well, you should check the WayBack Machine. To prove my point, here's a saved archive for ref 108 that can be found at the WayBack Machine. I guess the bot didn't pick these up because they are mostly from the same website. But whatever the case might be, references 107-116, 118, and 206 are all archivable. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 22:12, 9 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Per this discussion it seems references 107-116 can't be accessed for some reason in the edit field. Rusted AutoParts 23:48, 10 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Rusted AutoParts: I see the issue with 107-116 and 118. The only one left is 206 which is in fact archivable. Archive that and this article is passed! Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 00:14, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Some Dude From North Carolina:

Done Rusted AutoParts 02:30, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Ref 99 ("Archived copy") needs to be reformatted. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 01:36, 25 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Ref 99 has been fixed and reformatted.

Ref 190 ("Jumbo and the Gremlins") also needs to be reformatted. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 01:36, 25 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Completely removed Gremlins reference which was 192 when I removed it. It was a link to a page that doesn't exist. There is another reference there, so if it ever existed it would have been excessive anyways.

Other basic stuff

In the only note in the article, change "Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood" to "Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood" as it's missing a space. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 16:00, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Space added

Reference 23 needs to be properly formatted. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 19:52, 20 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Reference has been reformatted

Plot

Change "taken away by ambulance" to "taken away by an ambulance" Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 14:13, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done Rusted AutoParts 14:24, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The plot contains 705 words. Bring that down to 700 per WP:FILMPLOT. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 17:51, 16 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Plot is now 700 words.

Later, Plot is now 691 words.

Cast

Find and add a reference to Corey Burton's role in the film as it's a voice role. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 16:25, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Removed Burton from cast list for now

Does this reference help? Yoninah (talk) 21:16, 20 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

That reference did help. Thank you. Corey Burton has been re added with reference.

Character background

The reference following the line "Trudi Fraser, the precocious child actor working on Lancer, is inspired by an actual character from that series."[23] gives information mostly sourced from this reference. Swap them out. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 16:41, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The two references have been swaped.

Add "In the film" to the next sentence so it reads "In the film, Marvin Schwarz is Dalton's agent". Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 16:42, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"In the film" has been added

@Samurai Kung fu Cowboy: Please address my points with proper grammar. You forgot to add a comma after "In the film". Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 19:54, 20 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comma added

Add a reference to the last sentence in this section, which ends in, "were portrayed by individuals who performed those jobs for the film." Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 16:44, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

References added to the end of the above sentence

References are needed at the end of the following sentences:

"...and Zack Whyel also play members of the Manson Family."

Deleted sentence. Cannot find valid reference.

"Madisen Beaty, who portrays Krenwinkel, previously portrayed her on Aquarius."

Reference added to the end of "Aquarius" sentence.

"Spahn Ranch was recreated in detail over about a three-month period."

Citation added to Spahn Ranch sentence. Reference already existed.

"...and Adam West appear via archive footage and sound."

Deleted sentence for now. Could not find valid reference to cover everyone mentioned.

"This happens in the film, with Sebring in place of Altobelli and Hatami."

Added reference at the end of "Altobelli and Hatami" sentence.

Production

Writing and development

Reference 16 states "About 10 years ago" and doesn't exactly specify on the year. If you can't find a reference for the article line "Tarantino discovered the centerpiece for the work in 2009", then remove the words "in 2009". Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 12:10, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Changed "In 2009" to "About 10 years ago."

Additionally, multiple references disagree on the stunt double's work. Reference 16 says 20 years, while reference 62 and this other article both say 9 years. I would suggest changing the sentence "while filming a movie with an actor that had the same stunt double for 20 years" to "while filming a movie with an actor that had been working alongside the same stunt double for several years" to avoid confusion. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 12:25, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Stunt double sentence changed per suggestion.

The sentence "Then, the actor Booth was the stunt double for Rick Dalton." needs some reworking. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 12:26, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Reworked sentence

Having information about a possible Bounty Law television series in the production section seems weird. I would suggest adding a "Future" sub-section in "Reception" under "Accolades" and expanding from there. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 12:31, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Created Future section and moved Bounty Law info

Casting

The following sentences need reworking:

"When Butler auditioned, he did not know which character it was for."

Reworked sentence

"She said the process was unlike any other except maybe auditioning for drama school..."

Reworked sentence. Changed to direct quote.

Add a space after the "..." Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 11:45, 23 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Space added

"Willis auditioned for two roles, neither of which she got, then was offered the part of Joanna Pettet." (change "then" to "but was later")

Changed

Merge the last sentence in this section into the second paragraph. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 13:46, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Sentence merged

Filming and design

References are needed for the following sentences:

"Movie poster artist Steven Chorney created the poster for the film, as a reference to The Mod Squad."

Added citation to poster sentence. Reference already existed.

"He also created the posters for Nebraska Jim, Operation Dyn-O-Mite, Uccidimi Subito Ringo Disse il Gringo, Hell-Fire Texas, and Comanche Uprising, which was reprinted for Dalton's home parking spot."

Added citation for Nebraska Jim sentence. Same reference as sentence above

"Mad magazine caricaturist Tom Richmond created the covers of Mad and TV Guide featuring Dalton's Jake Cahill."

Added citation to Mad magazine sentence. Reference already existed.

"The exterior of the Van Nuys drive-in scene was filmed at the Paramount Theater since the Van Nuys Theater no longer exists."

Reference added to end of drive-in sentence

According to reference 101, the sentence "I want it to feel retro but I want it to be contemporary" is actually "I want to feel retro but I want to be contemporary". Either swap them out or add [brackets] around the word "it". Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 13:59, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Brackets added

Don't forget the brackets on the second "it". Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 21:00, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Brackets added to second it

Change "the Paramount Theater" to "the Paramount Drive-In Theater" per reference. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 01:22, 25 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Added "Drive-in". Also to Van Nuys for consistency.

Music

Make a "Track listing" chart that includes the song's length. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 14:38, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Track listing chart fully created and filled out. Still missing a few track lengths.

All track lengths completed

Add a professional ratings section for the music. Here is an example, and here is a reference. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 14:38, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Professional ratings section added with reference.

Release

Combine the two sentences under "Home media". Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 14:35, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Sentences combined

Remove the comma in the image in this section. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 01:21, 29 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The comma has been removed.

Reception

Remove the entire "Top-ten lists" section per MOS:FILM, which reads: "Do not add critics' top-ten lists on which a film appears, except on a case-by-case basis subject to consensus." Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 15:34, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The entire "Top-ten lists" section has been removed

Update the Rotten Tomatoes review counter from 553 to 554. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 14:21, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Changed to 554

Future

Merge the sentences "If so, he plans on writing three more episodes. He hopes to cast Leonardo DiCaprio as Jake Cahill, the lead" into "If so, he plans on writing three more episodes, hoping to cast Leonardo DiCaprio as Jake Cahill, the lead." Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 21:06, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Sentences merged

This section needs major expanding (at least a paragraph). Here are some references: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 21:11, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Started to expand. Added info about release of four hour cut.

Added sentences to Bounty Law paragraph.

Change the first sentence to:

"On August 5, 2019, it was reported that a 4-hour cut of the film would be coming to Netflix. On January 3, 2020, Collider confirmed the statement in an interview with director Quentin Tarantino, revealing that the extended-cut of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood would be available in approximately one year."

Changed to the above but left “may” and “probably” as per the sources. It didn’t read as anything official.

Add a space after the sentence "...as Jake Cahill, the lead.[4]The" to make it "...as Jake Cahill, the lead.[4] The" Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 01:17, 29 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Space added.

Change "of 1950's Western television shows" to "of Western television shows from the 1950s." Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 01:18, 29 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Changed Western TV sentence.

The last sentence is a little wordy. Rework it. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 01:20, 29 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Reworked sentence. Split into two sentences.

Change "the half hour format Western television shows from the 1950's" to "the half-hour format of Western television shows from the 1950s". Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 15:08, 29 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Changed above sentence per corrections.

Please (this is the 3rd time I'm asking you), remove the ' in "1950's" to make it "1950s". Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 17:22, 29 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I didn't leave it on purpose. It was an easy miss. There were other corrections you had in the first two, so I didn't notice it. This was not the third time you asked for this on its own. It wasn't being ignored. Someone fixed it now. It no longer has the apostrophe.

Comma needed after "On August 5, 2019" Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 19:10, 1 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comma added

Other

Connections to other Tarantino films

Change "In the film, Lee" to "In the film, Bruce Lee". Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 14:32, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Bruce added

Historical accuracy

Link "August 8, 1969" to the Tate–LaBianca murders. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 14:32, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Linked

A reference is needed for the following sentence: "In the film, it is Kasabian who drives off, deserting others."

Reference added

Change the sentence "In the film, Grogan is instead beaten by a stuntman, Booth." to "In the film, Grogan is instead beaten by Cliff Booth." Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 14:32, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Changed it to "Stuntman Cliff Booth." It seems that if it doesn't identify Booth as a stuntman, the connection isn't as clear to me. I can change it to the note if you disagree.

No, you fixed it perfectly. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 21:01, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Bruce Lee

Change the sentence "particularly the stuntmen. ..." to "particularly the stuntmen..." by removing the first period. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 14:38, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Removed period

Images

Fix the captions in most of the images.
- This includes the images in the casting section, the release section, and in the historical accuracy section. Please add context to provide a clearer reason for why the images are included. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 16:38, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Caption in release and Casting have been edited

Add "the main stars of the film" to the image's caption in casting. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 17:44, 16 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Added "the main stars of the film" to caption

The image in historical accuracy still needs a better caption. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 17:44, 16 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

historical accuracy image caption has been expanded to tie it in.

The caption following Bruce Lee's image is sloppy and sounds off. Try merging the sentences. Some Dude From North Carolina^{wanna talk?} 16:48, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The Lee caption has been edited

GA (Overall) Review

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·