Talk:On Sight/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: BeatlesLedTV (talk · contribs) 23:01, 2 February 2019 (UTC)
- First GA review; I'll have it done today. BeatlesLedTV (talk) 23:08, 2 February 2019 (UTC)
- I am responding below as to how I have fixed the issues. --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:45, 5 February 2019 (UTC)
Lead and infobox
[edit]- The reference in the infobox isn't needed, as that's better described in the body
- Removed.
- Currently, the lead is too short and the sentences seem disjointed; go straight from opening to sample to reception to controversy. What about chart listings? (since it managed to chart on two different charts)
- Beefed up lead, including chart listings and separated into two paragraphs.
Composition
[edit]- Quotes within quotes should be single quotation marks instead of double
- Fixed, but left "On Sight" with those speech marks because it's a song title inside the quote.
- "The song contains a studio recreation sang by a choir of "Sermon..." – that reads very weirdly, why not "a studio recreation of "Sermon...Family, sung by a choir."?
- Changed order to read better.
Critical reception
[edit]- Steph Blasnik's quote is a direct quote, which should be in double quotation marks. The punctuation is also inside the quotes while other quotes aren't.
- Same goes for Chris Martins' quote
- Added all in double quotation marks as should be done and if you mean punctuation inside the quotes like commas then that can be included, but I removed the [] from quotes.
Controversy
[edit]- Why are the lyrics referred to as 'lines'?
- Changed to lyrics.
- MTV does not go in italics
- Removed italics formatting.
- Along with that, it was Maurice Bobb of MTV who wrote the quote.
- Added his name.
- "...effect." and West never responded to the ADPA.[13]" Reference should be after the end quote and the ref itself states West had yet to respond (as of June 19, 2013). In the almost 6 years since, did West ever actually respond? The fact is that the source here does not say he never responded.
- Updated to read 'and West had yet to respond to the ADPA at the time'
Charts
[edit]- Fine
References
[edit]- Many of these should be archived, since many are from 2013.
- Archived multiple references
Final comments and verdict
[edit]The main problem with the article is that at its current state it is incomplete.
- There is no 'credits and personnel' section
- Added it now with a reference.
- A 'commercial performance' section is needed (even though there are only two listings, there should still be one)
- Included this section with both of the chart positions.
- The article also has no background info, such as why did Daft Punk work on this? or what was the genesis of the song? (especially since the entire album was scrapped and recorded in a matter of weeks)
- Added a background section about Daft Punk and when the song was first heard. Also, the album wasn't recorded in a matter of weeks, where'd you get that false information from? See Yeezus Wiki.
Because of these issues, I sadly had to ✗ Fail this. Maybe with a greater expansion it can become a GA in the future, but in its current state, it is not GA quality. Perhaps there's not enough info out there on this specific song to ensure a GA. However, I see you in particular have been expanding many of West's song pages, which is really cool to see (thanks for your expansions on "Ultralight Beam"). Keep up the good work, and hopefully more of his songs can become GA's in the future! BeatlesLedTV (talk) 23:44, 2 February 2019 (UTC)