Talk:On Fire (Loïc Nottet song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 18:57, 16 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

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For this phrase (released for digital download on 30 November 2018 by Sony Music Entertainment.), add “and” before the word “released”.
I am uncertain if the “perseverance” wikilink is necessary.
For this part (Nottet desired to), I think that “wanted” would be a better word choice rather than “desired”.
I do not think the “music critic” wikilink is necessary.

Background and composition

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For this part (his upcoming second record), “upcoming” is not necessary and can be removed.
I have a comment for this sentence ("On Fire", the first single from the project, was made available for digital download on 30 November 2018 by Sony Music Entertainment, lasting three minutes and 47 seconds.). The final phrase “lasting three minutes and 47 seconds” is awkwardly tagged on at the end of the sentence, and if read literally, it connects with Sony Music Entertainment and says that the company only lasts that amount of time. I would move the time to a different sentence as I am not sure it fits here.
Again, I am uncertain if the “perseverance” wikilink is necessary.

Reception

For this part (on Nottet's Selfocracy, especially to "Million Eyes" (2016).), I would use “particularly” rather than “especially to”.
For this part (Commercially, "On Fire" experienced minor commercial success upon its release), I would remove “experienced minor commercial success upon its release” and just let the chart placements speak for themselves.

Promotion

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For this part (For promotion, Nottet performed "On Fire" several times.), I am uncertain if “for promotion” is necessary.
For this part (Later in December,), I would say “later that month” instead.
For this part (and was teased with a series of 87 images), I would use “through a series” rather than “with a series”.
For this part (The visual commences with Nottet), I would just say “starts” rather than “commences”.
This part (and saw it as very different from Nottet's past work due to moving away from reality and being fictitious) is worded rather awkwardly. I would revise it to something like “and and wrote that it moved away from the reality presented in Nottet’s past work to focus more on the fictitious.).

Final comments

Good work with this article, and good work with the articles related to this artist overall. It is always nice to see an editor develop multiple works about a single subject, and good luck with your continued work. Once my comments are addressed, I will be more than happy to pass this. Have a great rest of your week! Aoba47 (talk) 18:57, 16 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: Ow, thanks :) I've done your comments and thanks for a great review!! Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:59, 16 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Verdict

Thank you for addressing everything. I will ✓ Pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 03:03, 17 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: As always, thank you very much for passing this to GA; it means a lot to me!

Is there any chance you could also get to Selfocracy in the future? It's the last non-reviewed article in a GA topic I would like to promote. Anyway, thanks again for passing this!! Best regards; Cartoon network freak (talk) 05:16, 17 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I will definitely consider it, but it will not be in the near future. Good luck with it either way! Aoba47 (talk) 05:37, 17 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]