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Talk:Old Melbourne Gaol/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Arsenikk (talk) 13:32, 11 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments
  • On Wikipedia, we do not use terms such as "Mr", "Mrs", etc, unless in direct quotes.
  • Any reason use write 'Port Philip' instead of 'Port Phillip'?
  • 'Supreme Court' should be wikilinked.
  • By "a hospital in one of the yards (1864)" do you mean the hospital was built in 1864, or only existed that year? Please be more specific.
  • Try to avoid putting long strophes of texts, such as "babies under twelve months old were allowed to be with their mothers" in parenthesis.
  • Why is 'silence mask' and 'calico hood' in italics? Most probably one of them should be a link. Similarly 'suitable' and 'RMIT Building 11. Architect: Colonial Government Architect' further down.
  • 'Bible' is a proper noun and thus capitalized.
  • "were house on" should probably be "were housed on"
  • The first sentence under "Executions" is too long; try splitting it in two.
  • The section about Ned Kelly is almost entirely unreferenced, similarly Frederick Bailey Deeming and the last paragraph under "Closure and re-opening
  • I presume ref 16 refers to the list of hangings. Please move it inside the table.
  • Why is 'Absent' capitalized?
  • Instead of putting "which began as a penal settlement" in parenthesis, stick it after a comma.
  • Ref 24 is dead.

Placing on hold. Arsenikk (talk) 13:32, 11 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Response

[edit]

Hi Arsenikk, thanks greatly for looking at this article. I have attempted to clean up and fix the issues you raised above (I am still working on them and will let you know when good to go again). I just have a few queries...

Ref 24 is dead. I just checked it, it seems fine. Can you check it again?

The section about Ned Kelly is almost entirely unreferenced, similarly Frederick Bailey Deeming and the last paragraph under "Closure and re-opening I have trimmed that unsourced section after "closure and re-opening", I don't believe it adds anything valuable to the article anyway and I cannot find any source for it. For the other sections, I can add the inline sources - but do they necassarily need it if the main articles for those people are sourced?

Cheers Jwoodger (talk) 00:27, 12 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

In any case, I have addressed the above issues. Jwoodger (talk) 23:39, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Congratulations with a good article. Just one thing: avoid using second-level headers (==) in the GA subpage, as it tends to mess up editing the page. Arsenikk (talk) 19:09, 19 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks greatly! OK, will remember that editing tip :) Jwoodger (talk) 21:58, 19 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]