Talk:Oh What a Circus/GA1
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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 21:27, 28 August 2015 (UTC)
- as a single from the album → What album?
- talking about the → discussing the (I find it juxtaposing when I read a song talking about about something, but one sings a song, not talks it lol)
- its tune with → 'Tune' is too informal
- success for Essex, who had been dropped by his previous record company due to his declining success. → Repetition of 'success'. Suggest changing the latter to 'sales'
- and received critical appreciation. → Why, briefly.
- for broadway in 1976.→ Link Broadway
- researching about her → 'About' is redundant here
- reached only number → Omit 'only', I don't think it's needed
- a new record deal for him. A new deal → Repetitious. These two sentences couldn't be made into one by the use of a comma and slight rephrasing.
- The single was → Song before single
- shares its tune → As before, 'tune' is not very encyclopaedic
- a choral chan → Can this be linked?
- sung by Colm Wilkinson.[4] But it was not used, → Starting a sentence with 'But' only makes it sound like it should be connected to the previous. Starting with 'but' reads a bit awkward
- spanning the nodes from → spans from
- Lyrically it talks → Comma after Lyrically
- climed → Typo
- Ché muses → Why does this instance utilise an accent on the e?
- Outcome
On hold. — Calvin999 21:42, 28 August 2015 (UTC)
- Passed. — Calvin999 18:12, 29 August 2015 (UTC)