Talk:Odúbel Herrera/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 11:27, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
I will be reviewing this! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 11:27, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
References
[edit]- This section looks good!
Lead
[edit]- If his dad is Odubel, Sr., then shouldn’t we add Jr. to the full name in the lead?
- ”A native of Zulia, Venezuela, Herrera's father gave him the nickname "El Torito" as a young baseball player.” – “Herrera grew up in Zulia, Venezuela, receiving the nickname “El Torito” from his father as a young baseball player.”
- I’d put the translation in the lead, too.
- ”were interested in his outfield performance” – “were interested in his potential as an outfielder”
- ”before his contract was selected on April 26, 2021.” – “before the Phillies re-signed him in 2021.”
Early life
[edit]- ”farmer in Venezuela, and played” – “farmer who also played” – Since Herrera grew up in Venezuela, people will correctly assume that was where his father was.
- ”Known for being” – “As Odubel was known for being” – The way it is right now, the sentence seems to say that Odubel’s father was known for being…
Texas Rangers
[edit]- I’d add organization to the section heading, since he didn’t play in the majors for them.
- Put MLB in parentheses after first mention of Major League Baseball.
- ”in 2009 with the” – “in 2009 in the” – I think it’s “in” a league and “with” a team.
- ”batted .280, with” – No comma needed.
- I’d spell out Arizona League Rangers.
- ”He started the season in Frisco” – “He started the 2013 season in Frisco”, or “He started the first of those years in Frisco”
- Then, you can take out 2013 from “August 1, 2013”
- ”2014 season, but was” – No comma needed.
- ”he hit .297” – “he had hit .297”
- ”with the Venezuelan Winter League” – again, in.
2015-16
[edit]- ”the most of any” – “the longest of any”
- ”father, and returned” – “father, and he returned”
- ”Despite his offensive” – “Despite Herrera’s offensive”
- ”Herrera a finalist” – “Herrera was a finalist”
- ”Award, after registering” – No comma needed.
2017-18
[edit]- ”in what should have been the” – “while representing the potential”
- ”energy to reporters” – I’d take out “to reporters”, as this might be misread as Herrera displaying a lack of concentration and energy specifically to reporters. Maybe put “both publicly criticized” instead earlier in the sentence.
- ”break, and he had” – “break and accumulating”
- ”with a 31-game on-base streak, the longest such streak from the start of a season since Matthew Holliday in 2015” – “with a multi-game on-base streak, the longest to start a season since Matt Holliday reached base in his first 30 games in 2015.” Don’t put the number yet since it wasn’t a 31-game streak, it was a 45-game one.
- ”he reached his” – “he recorded his”
- ”Although he did reach base in the ninth inning, after the ball got past St. Louis Cardinals catcher Francisco Pena, the play was officially ruled a strikeout and did not count towards his on-base numbers.” – “Although he did reach base in the ninth inning, he did so on a dropped third strike, which did not count towards his on-base numbers.”
- ”on-base streak in April and May” – Can take out “in April and May,” pretty obvious which one it refers to.
- ”and after a 4-for-29 stretch” – “and after he had a 4-for-29 stretch”
- ”Despite setting career highs with 22 home runs and 71 RBIs, Herrera's .255 batting average, .310 on-base percentage, and .730 on-base plus slugging in 597 plate appearances were a career worst.” – “Despite setting career highs with 22 home runs and 71 RBIs, Herrera also set career worsts with a .255 batting average, .310 on-base percentage, and .730 on-base plus slugging in 597 plate appearances.”
2019-21
[edit]- Make clearer whether he was still a starting outfielder in 2019 or whether he made the roster but only as a reserve.
Done And specified that Quinn was injured — GhostRiver 13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
- ”on May 28, following” – No comma needed.
- No year needed for July 5, 2019.
- ”regular season games, and also included” – “regular season games, also including”
- ”batted .222, with” – No comma needed.
- ”On January 14, 2020, Herrera was designated for assignment, with general manager Matt Klentak intending to outright the player to the Triple-A Lehigh Valley IronPigs. The Phillies' outfield presence had been bolstered by Adam Haseley and Jay Bruce, and Klentak cited the fact that Herrera "wasn't very good for the first couple months last year" as reasons to remove him from the roster. Herrera cleared waivers on January 16 and was assigned outright to Triple-A.” – “On January 14, 2020, Herrera was designated for assignment. The Phillies' outfield presence had been bolstered by Adam Haseley and Jay Bruce, and general manager Matt Klentak cited the fact that Herrera "wasn't very good for the first couple months last year" as a reason to remove him from the roster. Herrera cleared waivers on January 16 and was assigned outright to the Triple-A Lehigh Valley IronPigs.
- ”He had an opportunity to play in two games later that year” – “He played two games later that year”
- ”scoring two hits” – “recording two hits”
- Link the injured list
- Done Earlier with the addition of Quinn — GhostRiver 13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
Player profile
[edit]- This section looks good!
Personal life
[edit]- ”to relay messages with reporters” – “to communicate with reporters”
- ”which he did not realize at the time ‘was disrespectful to Herrera and Latin players in general’” – “saying he did not mean to be ‘disrespectful to Herrera and Latin players in general’”
Legal incident
[edit]- ”Herrera’s contract for the season” – I’d drop “for the season”
- ”with the Phillies until” – “with the Phillies organization until”
I used to always get him and Maikel Franco, who I guess had a few good years as well, mixed up, probably because they both came up around the same time. It’ll be interesting to see if he can regain his All-Star form! Anyway, looks good as usual, just a few minor changes. Let me know when you’re done, and I’ll give the article another look! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:11, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
- Sanfranciscogiants17 Well, word on the street is that the Phils might re-sign Franco, since the Orioles let him go
and we can't find a third baseman to save our lives, so the confusion may continue! Anyway, all changes addressed, thank you for the review! — GhostRiver 13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)- GhostRiver Looks good now, passing! Nice work once again! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 18:29, 14 September 2021 (UTC)