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Talk:Octave Uzanne/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewing

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Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 00:02, 6 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Full disclosure: I am a WIki Cup and GA Cup participant, I have my own GANs (CMLL World Tag Team Championship and CMLL World Welterweight Championship) and I also have a Feature Article (CMLL World Heavyweight Championship) and Feature List (Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship) candidates in need of input. Not that it's a factor in my review but it would be appreciated.

I am about to start my review of this article, normally I provide my input in bits and pieces over a day or two so expect running updates for a while.  MPJ-US  00:02, 6 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

GA Toolbox

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I like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.

Peer Review
  • Lead is too short for the article, per WP:LEAD an article this size should have a 3-4 sentence lead
Copyright violations
  • No issues Green tickY
Disambiguation links
  • No issues Green tickY
External links
  • No issues Green tickY

Well written

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  • So I have not done my second read through for grammar etc. but I have noticed that there are a lot of French titles etc. in the article and very few are translated - even if it was never published in English the book titles can be translated right? I work with a lot of Mexican wrestling related articles and whenever possible translations are provided and this is quite heavy on the French. It would make it more accessible to those of us that do not speak French.
I can only add the title of those works that have English translation, e.g., Féminies has no English translation.
  • More to come here
Lead
  • "including Paradis Moncrif and Benserade, Caylus and Besenval, and the Marquis de Sade and Baudelaire", not sure why there are so many "and"s in there, should only be one between Marquis de Sad ena Baudelaire I would think.  Fixed
  • The lead should not have citations, only exception is if something is ONLY in the lead and nowhere else, which should be very minimal.  Done
  • Please link "monographs", I had to look it up to figure it out.  Done
Biography
  • This section reads basically as a continuation of the lead, it jumps straight into using "Uzanne" without establishing full name in the article etc. The body of the article should be written as if the lead does not exist, assuming the reader knows nothing in the lead.  Done
  • Why is "note 2" not just included in the text?  Done
Bibliophile and journalist
  • Using "l'Arsenal" here and "The Arsenal" later, please be consistent in word choice.  Done
  • "the era of Bibliophiles François", there is no link and no article, could you give us a time range for the era to put it in perspective for the reader?  Fixed
  • I thought "Note 4" was an interesting insight into his thoughts on other bibliophiles, shame it's relegated to a note and not in the article.  Done
  • Are there any additional details on the anti-semetic newspaper as it relates to Uzonne, was that also a personal opinion? did he contribute a counter point? this is something that could be considered negative about Uzonne and should be covered if there is anything verifiable on this.
checkY I have separated that phrase and delete the quote, but I add other details about his relationship with Drumont.
Fashion writer
  • "translated in English" should be "translated into English"  Done
  • "the eroticism of theatrical atmosphere", is that missing the "the" before "theatrical"?  Done
  • "a delightful illustrated story", delightful is a peacock word that is not neutral. If it was described as such please at least use the quotation marks around the term.  Done
  • "emphasized a of the female clothing accessories", is that sentence missing a word between "a" and "of"??  Done
  • "A example of the historical" should be "An example"  Done
  • "the effect of the Revolution in the woman" should be "on the woman"  Done
  • "to these dancing assemblies, held at the Hôtel Richelieu, none were admitted but aristocrats who could boast a relative guillotined during the Terror" is that sentence a quote? if not I would suggest revising it.  Fixed
  • "he republished what is essentially is the same book" rephrase to something like "he republished what was essentially the same book" or words to that effect.  Done
Later life and death
  • The first sentence seems to belong in a section describing his works, not in a "later life" section, but perhaps there is only limited information, not enough for it's own section?
checkY I moved this paragraph to "Works" section
  • "First World War, wrote that" should be "First World War, he wrote that"  Done
  • became in a "archetypal figure of the Belle Époque" should be "became an archetypical figure of the Belle Époque"  Done
  • "Also she notes a contrast", that sentence does not have a subject?  Done
  • "and he in turn was an innovative artist" should be "and he, in turn, was an innovative artist"  Done
Works
  • Lack of translations, lack of sources
Notes
  • "In Caprice d'un Bibliophile (1878) firmly defended the use of symbolism", who defended? Uzonne? If so state it  Done
  • " Bibliothèque nationale de France credited with" should be " Bibliothèque nationale de France is credited with"  Done
  • the whole note should be in the article itself. doing it in a footnote hides it. this approach does change my take on neutral.  Done
  • I assume "trustworthly" is a typo?  Fixed

Sources/verifiable

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  • The "Works" section is totally unsourced, is that normal for articles on book authors?? I am surprised to see it totally devoid of sources. Red XN
checkY I added references and reviews of the publications in this section.
  • Otherwise the sources appear to be reliable sources, formatted correctly etc.

Broad in coverage

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  • It goes into detail about what he's most famous for but does also provide a broader coverage than just that. Green tickY

Neutral

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  • I believe so, on my next read through there may be items that jump out at me but for now it's looking fine.
  • The handling/downplay of his anti semetic views makes it look like the article is trying to hide it. Red XN

Stable

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  • No signs of any recent edit wars, AFDs or anything of that nature so yes it looks stable Green tickY

Illustrated / Images

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  • None of the pictures have alt texts  Done
  • The following images also needs a U.S. Public domain tag on the image page  Fixed
  • "Octave Uzanne by Vallotton.jpg"
  • "Ramon Casas - MNAC- Octave Uzanne- 027252-D 006401.jpg"
  • "Octave Uzanne-L'Eventail-1882.jpg"
  • "Waiting for the Saint-Cloud Coach, Place de la Concorde, 1806.jpg"
  • "Uzanne-texte.jpg"
  • "Octave Uzanne-The Mirror of the World, with one hundred and sixty illustrations by Paul AVRIL, 1889.jpg"
  • "Uzanne - Son altesse la femme p172.jpg"

Done with my review for now, there are issues but nothing that could not realistically be fixed with a little work, I am putting this on hold for improvements. MPJ-US  03:58, 6 March 2016 (UTC) Making sure @Jarould: sees this. let me know if you have questions or are ready for me to review again. MPJ-US  04:06, 6 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@MPJ-DK: Thanks for your comments. I have completed the tasks. Jarould  talk  00:24, 8 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@Jarould:, looking at it now I believe all my concerns have been addressed. Passed for Good Article review.
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