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Talk:Ocean Eyes (song)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Lazman321 (talk · contribs) 16:25, 12 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

This nomination has been up for a month and is the oldest nomination of a song article to not be reviewed. I going to review this article to clear it out of the backlog and see if it should be promoted to good article status. I will be going down the criteria, one by one.

1. - Well Written

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Taking a quick glance, the article does look readable and understandable. Let's go deeper.

a. - Prose

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Looks great. Able to read the article clearly and understand what it is saying. My biggest problem is with the background and release section. It's hard to explain, so I will just rewrite it here.

  • The original text

The track was entirely made using Logic stock sounds.[1] It was written, mixed, and produced by Eilish's brother, Finneas O'Connell. He gave it to Eilish when her dance teacher at the Revolution Dance Center (Honolulu Avenue, Los Angeles) Fred Diaz asked them to write a song for choreography.[2][3] The vocals were recorded with an Audio-Technica AT2020 microphone.[1] Eilish and her brother uploaded the track to SoundCloud so Diaz could have access to it.[4] When asked about how the song came about in an early 2017 interview with Teen Vogue Eilish states Finneas gave the song to her because he felt her vocals were better for the song. Danny Rukasin heard her vocals and saw her potential as an artist. He would later become her manager.[5]

When Eilish got a growth plate injury, it put an end to her dancing and turned her focus toward a recording career.[6] Finneas had written and produced "Ocean Eyes" originally for his band the Slightly's, before realizing it would be a better fit for Eilish's vocals.[7] "Ocean Eyes" was first uploaded to SoundCloud on November 18, 2015.[6] The song went viral overnight.[8] After Eilish signed to Darkroom and Interscope Records, "Ocean Eyes" was re-released for digital download and streaming on November 18, 2016 as the lead single on Eilish's debut EP Don't Smile at Me and the album Everything, Everything (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack).[9] Mastering was handled by studio personnel John Greenham.[10]

  • The text rewritten

The track was written, mixed, and produced by Eilish's brother, Finneas O'Connell. Finneas had written and produced "Ocean Eyes" originally for his band the Slightly's, before realizing it would be a better fit for Eilish's vocals.[7] He gave it to Eilish when her dance teacher at the Revolution Dance Center (Honolulu Avenue, Los Angeles) Fred Diaz asked them to write a song for choreography.[11][12] The track was entirely made using Logic stock sounds.[1] The vocals were recorded with an Audio-Technica AT2020 microphone.[1] When asked about how the song came about in an early 2017 interview with Teen Vogue Eilish said that "[Finneas] came to me with "Ocean Eyes," which he had originally written for his band. He told me he thought it would sound really good in my voice. He taught me the song and we sang it together along to his guitar and I loved it. It was stuck in [my] head for weeks." Finneas would later become Eilish's manager.[5]

Eilish and her brother uploaded the track to SoundCloud on November 18, 2015 so Diaz could have access to it.[13] The song went viral overnight.[14] When Eilish got a growth plate injury, it put an end to her dancing career and she turned her focus toward a recording career.[6] After Eilish signed to Darkroom and Interscope Records, "Ocean Eyes" was re-released for digital download and streaming on November 18, 2016 as the lead single on Eilish's debut EP Don't Smile at Me and the album Everything, Everything (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack).[9] Mastering was handled by studio personnel John Greenham.[10]

I recommend replacing the original text in the article with the rewritten text above. No action needed.

  1. ^ a b c d Tingen, Paul (July 2019). "Billie Eilish". Sound on Sound. Retrieved August 9, 2020.
  2. ^ Weiss, Haley (February 27, 2017). "Discovery: Billie Eilish". Interview. Retrieved July 31, 2020.
  3. ^ McNamara, Mary (January 24, 2020). "What do Billie Eilish and 'Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood' have in common? A Montrose dance studio". Los Angeles Times. Retrieved July 31, 2020.
  4. ^ Williams, Kori (April 24, 2020). "Billie Eilish Says 'Ocean Eyes' Was Never Meant to Be Released". Seventeen. Retrieved July 31, 2020.
  5. ^ a b Marsh, Ariana (February 24, 2017). "How Billie Eilish's 'Ocean Eyes' Turned Her Into an Overnight Sensation". Teen Vogue. Retrieved July 31, 2020.
  6. ^ a b c Lipshutz, Jason (March 23, 2017). "Billie Eilish Is Pop's Most Impressive 15-Year-Old". Billboard. Retrieved July 31, 2020.
  7. ^ a b Callie Ahlgrim, Libby Torres and Claudia Willen (March 18, 2020). "Every Billie Eilish song, ranked". Insider. Retrieved April 5, 2020.
  8. ^ Lipshutz, Jason (October 20, 2017). "Billie Eilish on Her Viral Breakthrough: 'I Don't Want To Take This For Granted'". Billboard. Retrieved July 31, 2020.
  9. ^ a b Cite error: The named reference iTunes Store was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  10. ^ a b Cite error: The named reference booklet was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  11. ^ Weiss, Haley (February 27, 2017). "Discovery: Billie Eilish". Interview. Retrieved July 31, 2020.
  12. ^ McNamara, Mary (January 24, 2020). "What do Billie Eilish and 'Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood' have in common? A Montrose dance studio". Los Angeles Times. Retrieved July 31, 2020.
  13. ^ Williams, Kori (April 24, 2020). "Billie Eilish Says 'Ocean Eyes' Was Never Meant to Be Released". Seventeen. Retrieved July 31, 2020.
  14. ^ Lipshutz, Jason (October 20, 2017). "Billie Eilish on Her Viral Breakthrough: 'I Don't Want To Take This For Granted'". Billboard. Retrieved July 31, 2020.

Lazman321, thanks so much for the re-write! I have replaced it with yours instead. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 20:46, 12 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

b. - Manual of Style

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The lead section is missing information about the song's promotion. I recommend adding that to the lead. I also recommend adding information about the background in the lead.

Other than that, the layout looks fine. I didn't detect any problematic words. Because this article is about a song, you are safe from the rules about fictional writing. The lists were used for the appendices section, you are safe from the embed list rule.

2. - Verifiable with no original research

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There are around 35 references if we don't count citations for the appendices. That is a good amount for an article about a song.

a. - Layout

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The layout looks fine. No action needed.

b. - Reliable Citations

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The citations look reliable. No action needed.

c. - No Original Research

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Nearly every sentence is sourced (with the exception of the lead, which doesn't need citations). No action needed.

d. - No Plagarism

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There liberal use of quotations in the body of the article. No action needed.

3. - Broad in its coverage

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This song looks detailed for a song article. I will look further.

a. - Main Aspects

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The article addresses the main aspects of any song. Its background, its composition, and its reception, including its response and its performance. It also has a promotion section. Promotion sections aren't usually included in song articles. No action needed.

b. - Stays Focused

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The article doesn't lose focus on the song. Though, I don't think a reception statement about a remix belongs in the background section. You could add a remixes section to this article if you want to include statements about the remixes in. No action needed.

4. - Neutral

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This article is neutral. Any compliment or criticism on the song is reserved for the composition and the reception sections and is attributed to a reliable review. No action needed.

5. - Stable

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This article is not going through an edit war or a content dispute currently. No action needed.

6. - Illustrated

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I see the only form of media used is the 2016 cover art and the original 2015 cover art. I would like you to add a sample of the song to the article, but it isn't required.

User:Lazman321, apologies, but I have no idea how to add an audio sample :/ The Ultimate Boss (talk) 20:47, 12 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

a. - Free or tagged images

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All the used images are tagged with image-use rationales that are required for non-free images. That you don't have to worry about, but the original 2015 cover art has a warning in its file page that the image's resolution is too big and is against Wikipedia's copyright policy. This cannot be passed until that is taken care of. No action needed.

User:Lazman321, I have reduced the 2015 cover from 500 X 500 to 300 X 300. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 20:53, 12 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

b. - Revelant media

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All the media that is used in the article is relevant. No action needed.

Overall

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 On hold for seven days - This article is really good. But there are still some things that need attention before it is passed. Lazman321 (talk) 19:27, 12 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Lazman321, thanks a lot for reviewing the article! Lmk if anything else needs to be fixed. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 21:07, 12 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The Ultimate Boss, good job on decreasing the resolution of the original cover art. Three things:

  • You haven't replaced the first two paragraphs in the background and release section yet, despite your claim that you did.

Lazman321, yes I did [1]

  • I might have not made it clear in the the Manual of Style section but you were supposed to generalize the background information and merge it with the first paragraph, then generalize the promotion information and add it to the lead section as its own paragraph.

Lazman321, did it! The Ultimate Boss (talk) 23:54, 12 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • How to add music sample is you take the song, you put it in an audio editing tool, condense it down to the appropriate length (read WP:SAMPLE if you want to know the appropriate length), save it as a low-quality .ogg file, upload it like you would a non-free image file, and add it to the article through the {{listen}} template or on the infobox through the misc value and the {{Audio sample}} template. Make sure there is an image-use rationale on the file. Read WP:SAMPLE if you want more information.

Good luck. Lazman321 (talk) 22:57, 12 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The Ultimate Boss, Great job. One more thing left, the lead could still be improved upon. Look at 4 Minutes, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Hey Jude, and other featured song articles for great examples of leads. - Lazman321 (talk) 01:54, 13 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Lazman321, how does it look now? The Ultimate Boss (talk) 23:16, 13 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The Ultimate Boss, Good job. This article is about ready to be passed. Do these three things to the lead and I will pass the article.

  • Put The song was written and produced by Eilish's older brother, Finneas O'Connell, and was originally written for his band. Between "Ocean Eyes" (stylized in all lowercase) is the debut song by American singer Billie Eilish from her debut EP Don't Smile at Me, and the album Everything, Everything (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack). and It was originally released on SoundCloud on November 19, 2015,
  • After the moved sentence, add Finneas gave the song to Eilish for her dance performance after realizing the song sounded really good with the song.
  • Remove the statement Upon its release, "Ocean Eyes" received positive reviews from music critics. The track was made using Logic stock sounds. as the second paragraph already mentions the song receiving positive reviews and the song being made using stock sounds from the DAW, Logic, is not a key enough point to be added to the lead section.

Lazman321,  Done The Ultimate Boss (talk) 02:21, 14 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The Ultimate Boss, I made a mistake with the second request. I said ...after realizing the song sounded really good with the song. when I meant to say ...after realizing the song sounded really good with her vocals. This one is on me. I will edit the article to fix that mistake. Lazman321 (talk) 02:33, 14 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The Ultimate Boss, Great job on the article. I can now ✓ Pass this article. Lazman321 (talk) 02:33, 14 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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