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Talk:November 2000 Hawaii floods/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: YE Tropical Cyclone 18:00, 26 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Some comments:

  • The paragraphs look a little on the long side. You might want to split them up
  • Any additional impact?
  • "Since none of the flooding damage occurred while Tropical Storm Paul was a tropical cyclone, the name Paul was not retired by the World Meteorological Organization following the 2000 Pacific hurricane season, since the storm itself had no affect on land." this should be removed

Ill have more comments later. YE Tropical Cyclone 18:00, 26 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I suggest the GA review be withdrawn, due to the issues mentioned above (namely that it's focused incorrectly). --Hurricanehink (talk) 18:04, 26 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Tropical Storm Paul was the second wettest tropical cyclone on record for Hawaii, as well the third rainiest in the history of United States. The twentieth tropical cyclone and eighteenth named storm of the 2000 Pacific hurricane season, Paul developed on October 25 from a tropical disturbance situated several hundred miles southwest of Mexico." kinda of a big sentence? Uou might wanta fix it. Also, should'nt was be changed is?
  • "Shortly after emerging from the ITCZ, a system that resembled a tropical wave entered the vicinity the area of disturbed weather, having been in the western Caribbean Sea on the previous day." this sounds confusion. That should be mentioned first if it happened first? or am I missing something?
  • " The tropical wave-like featured contributed to development, and convection associated with the system began to consolidate, after heading further westward.[1]" tropcial wave like feature?
  • "By October 25, satellite images indicated that a low-level circulation had formed, and the system developed into the eighteenth tropical depression of the season at 0600 UTC,[1] although it was not operationally classified Tropical Depression Eighteen-E until 2100 UTC.[2]" Sentence is kinda long IMO. You might want to brake it into two.
  • "Convection began to become more persistent, while Dvorak intensity estimates indicated sustained winds of 40 mph (60 km/h), and Tropical Depression Eighteen-E was upgraded to Tropical Storm Paul on October 26 as a result" no need to say the number, you might want to just say "the depression". "as a result" should be moved to the "and" part of the sentence
  • "Tropical Storm Paul quickly attained its peak intensity with maximum sustained winds of 45 mph (75 km/h) and a minimum barometric pressure of 1003 mbar (hPa; 29.62 inHg).[1]" IMO I have had enough of the wording "Tropical Storm Paul". Make that "Paul"
  • "Near Ka Lae, which is the southernmost point in the United States, rainfall was reported at nearly five in (127 mm)." no need for which is.

I might have a few more comments later, but that is it for this round. YE Tropical Cyclone 23:50, 26 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • How did the flooding occur?

Good luck improving the article. YE Tropical Cyclone 16:42, 27 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Per request, I am failing the article. YE Tropical Cyclone 23:47, 27 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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