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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Jivesh boodhun (talk · contribs) 08:28, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Before beginning the review, i will like to tell you that you can feel free to disagree where you think i am wrong. The we, will discuss. Best of luck. And the article looks good at first sight. Now, let me dig into it. Lol. Jivesh Talk2Me 08:35, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

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  • No mention of recording location(s)

Do you mean the recording studios or just the locations (i.e. New York City) done Crystal Clear x3 15:30, 6 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • Teen pop is a subgenre of pop music and as far as i see teen pop is sourced so don't you think removing pop from genres will be fine?

done

Comment: The rest is great. Jivesh Talk2Me 08:35, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • Teenage Dream, >>> Teenage Dream (2011),

done

  • while production and additional writing was done >>> shouldn't this be were?

done

  • The pop ballad >>> Hmmm, you need to decide now whether you will use pop or teen pop

done

  • ballad? Is it sourced somewhere below?

yes

  • Link [[Ballad (music)|ballad]] if the above answer is yes. If no, change to song. It is obvious NLITM is a ballad, nevertheless, Wikipedia wants a sources from most details.

done

  • The pop ballad speaks >>> is lyrically

done

  • doesn't >>> Avoid this form >>> does not

done

  • first started dating her husband>>> Hmmm, change it to first started dating her now-'husband

done

done

  • with some calling it a powerful and lovely song, as well a contemplative ballad, but noticing the song's lyrics refers "very little" to Perry's husband, Russell Brand. >>> some of whom called............ but noticed that ......... make only minimal reference to....

done

done

  • at number fifty-three on Billboard Hot 100 >>> at number 53 on US Billboard Hot 100 chart

done

done

  • California Dreams Tour >>> California Dreams Tour (2011)

done

Comment: You may have a look at WP:NUMBERS Jivesh Talk2Me 08:50, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for the link!

Background

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  • Do you know which month, year the interview took place?

done

  • Hello Katy Tour >>> Hello Katy Tour (2009)

done

  • Production and additional writing to song was >>> Shouldn't it be were?

done

  • She considers >>> Better use Perry here

done

  • after they began dating??? Or after their marriage. I am not sure what you wanted to say here. Can you clarify please?

done

  • track >>> To tell you frankly, i was told in the past to avoid using this word. But i am not sure if it can remain in GAs.

done

  • which was claiming to know something that you do not really know. >>> Will you be able to do a better wording here? If no tell me, i shall ask someone to do it for you. Feel free to ask if needed.

I replaced "really" with "actually" if that helps...c/e is not my strong suit, and thanks for the offer!

I think it reads better now. Jivesh Talk2Me 05:23, 7 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Comment: Do you feel background is the appropriate word for the section? What about development or conception? Jivesh Talk2Me 08:58, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
done

Composition

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  • Perry vocal range >>> Perry's vocal range

done

'done

  • does not feels >>> does not feel

done

  • as one reviewer put it >>> Mention the name of the reviewer and the online site or magazine for which he/she writes.

done

  • Chris Ryan from MTV Networks >>> MTV News

done

done

  • During the chorus >>> add a comma after chorus and link the latter [[Refrain|chorus]]

done

  • Perry sings about holding out for a love that it "cinematic and dramatic/With the perfect ending"[6] and later asks if she is a "stupid girl".[7] >>> you need to mention who sated those things.

done

Have a look at this. done

  • PopMatters staff writer Steve Leftridge considered the track to have a "ho-hum" melody.' should be before this Its melody was compared to Britney Spears' "Everytime" (2003) and Evanescence's "My Immortal" (2003).

done

  • Another reviewer >>> Again, you need to mention the name, magazine, etc

done

  • considering it >>> considering "Not Like the Movies"

done

  • The song has a basic sequence of A♭5–Fm7–Cm–E♭ as its chord progression. should be after Perry vocal range spans over an octave, from F♯3 to E♭5.

done

  • Music sample >>> You forgot to place a full stop.

done

Comment: This has been beautifully written. I love it. Jivesh Talk2Me 09:08, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

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  • a contemplative ballad" >>> Finally there is one. In the composition section, replace he word song in he beginning with ballad and link it.
  • of the USA Today publication >>> of USA Today (only)

done

  • and recommend readers to purchase the track >>> recommended and remember what i said about the word track?

done

  • and showcases >>> and that it showcases

done

  • They concluded >>> They???

fixed

  • Digital download (dab link) should be linked as [[Music download|digital downloads]]

done

  • On the week of August 11, 2010, >>> For the week ending August 11, 2010,

done

  • at number fifty-three on the Billboard Hot 100 >>> See comments on lead about numbers etc.

done

  • track

done

  • from the digital download sales of about 57,000 >>> selling 57,000 digital downloads

done

Comment: You need the understand the song charted on the hot 100 chart after having debuted on the Digital Songs chart. So, please re-arrange the paragraph. Let me know if you need help. Jivesh Talk2Me 09:23, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances

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  • track

done

  • You have to decide whether you will use present tense or past tense.

done

  • The song was also performed during the live 53rd Grammy Awards. >>> The song was also performed live during the 53rd Grammy Awards.

done

  • she sat >>> Perry sat

done

  • as she sang the lyrics >>> remove the lyrics (It feels repetitive)

done

  • This was the first time that footage had ever been seen. >>> This was the first time that footage was shown.

done

done

  • Valentine's Day–themed performance coupled with Perry's wedding footage made-up for the swing that "looked like a high school–yearbook photo backdrop". >>> Everything should be between quotes. Link Valentine's Day if a link exists on Wikipedia. I am almost sue there will be one.

done for Vday, not sure what you mean by 'between quotes'

I am doing it for you. Jivesh Talk2Me 05:24, 7 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • a similar grade??? Not similar

fixed

Comment: I love that picture. Jivesh Talk2Me 09:35, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Track listing

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Charts

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References

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done

  • Ref number 5 should be only MTV not MTV Networks

done

  • Inconsistency in format of dates, example, 08-05-2010. Either use the latter form everywhere or write dates in full everywhere.

done

done

  • Ref number 15 should be MTV News and not just MTV

done

Comment: Good. Jivesh Talk2Me 09:43, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

General Comments

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  • Maybe you could placed a picture of Russell Brand somewhere in the article.

done

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Jivesh Talk2Me 09:56, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for all of your comments and suggestions Crystal Clear x3 14:24, 6 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
You are most welcome. I enjoyed reviewing it because i enjoy Mrs Brand's music. Lol. Feel free to ask me for help whenever needed. And i really appreciate the hard work you did and the time you invested in bettering this page. Katy Perry's songs and album, etc need attention. Not everyone has 5 number-one singles from the same album. With that being said, i hope you continue on this path. Best of luck. Jivesh Talk2Me 05:28, 7 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
P.S I have passed the article. Congratulations on your first Katy Perry GA. Jivesh Talk2Me 05:31, 7 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]