Talk:North Staffordshire Railway/GA1

GA Review

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Comments:

Can an infobox be added to the article, as standard with most railroad company articles?
added 11:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
The lead of the article is very short, Per WP:LEAD, the lead is supposed to be a sufficient summary of what is presented in the article.
extended 11:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
"to be brought into the area and for fragile goods i.e. pottery to be taken away from the area" sounds awkward.
changed punctuation 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
Combine the following sentences: "This act also vested the Trent & Mersey Canal in the NSR. Allocated capital was £1,500,000.", "The North Staffordshire Railway (Harecastle and Sandbach) Act[12] provided for the construction of the line from Harecastle to Sandbach. Allocated capital was £200,000.", "The North Staffordshire Railway (Churnet Valley Line) Act[13] authorised the construction of the line from North Rode to Burton, a branch from Tutbury to Willington Junction near Derby, and the line between Uttoxeter and Stoke. £1,200,000 of capital was allocated.." Fix the double period in the last one also.
Fixed 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
You start two consecutive sentences with "There". Can more variety in wording be used?
Fixed 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
"goods trains"? "freight trains" may work better here.
done 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
In sentence "Authorised in stages in 1864–5 it opened to traffic in 1873.", add comma after "1864-5".
done 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
Remove first two commas in sentence "The Cheadle Railway, was a small local company, constructed with NSR's backing, built at great cost over a period of twelve years."
done 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
Combine sentences "It was a short line from Cresswell to Cheadle. This line, only four miles long, included a very difficult tunnel."
done 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
"Macclesfield, Bollington and Marple railway", "railway" should be capitalized.
done 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
Citation needed for "As a company with only a small route mileage the NSR made extensive use of running powers and in exchange granted running powers to other companies."
added 18:57, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
"several proposal": "proposal" should be plural.
fixed 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
"However it recover": "recover" should be "recovered".
done 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
"the NSR early decided"? Sounds awkward.
fixed 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
"Stoke railway works were opened in 1849.[47] capable of producing locomotives (from 1864 onwards[48]) to carriages, wagons and other equipment.": Change first period to comma.
fixed 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
Citation needed for "Associated with the quarry was the 3 ft 6 in (1,067 mm) tramway that ran from the quarries to Froghall making the NSR one of very few companies operating lines of three different gauges."
couldn't find direct ref so changed wording 20:56, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
The "Officers of the company" may look better suited as a table than a bulleted list.
done although personal preference is for the bulleted list 11:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
"the then engineer" sounds awkward.
fixed 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
The sentence "The vast majority of these being tank engines of 2-4-0T or 0-6-0 arrangement, although a handful of 2-4-0 and 0-6-0 tender engines were constructed." sounds awkward.
changed 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
The sentence "They were used on routes such as the Stoke–Newcastle service but were not a success and although the vehicles survived until grouping they had been out of service for some time by then." sounds wordy.
changed 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
Citation needed for "Four engines under construction at Stoke in 1923 were completed and also added to the LMS stock."
cited 20:56, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
The sentence "Coaching stock was originally claret[77] but in 1875 was changed to Victoria Brown, the same red brown colour as Longbottom had the motive power painted, and white (except for branch line trains) with gold and blue lining." sounds awkward.
fixed 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
Combine the sentences "Adams changed the livery to Madder Lake in 1903 to match the locomotives. The lining became yellow and red."
fixed 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
The sentence "Early wagons had dumb buffers and were of low capacity e.g. typical open wagons were only of 4 long tons (4.1 t) capacity." sounds awkward.
changed 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
I would suggest moving Template:North Staffordshire Railway RDT farther up in the article to be more prominent.
done 11:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
There are many sentences in the article that need commas to separate clauses. I would suggest carefully proofreading the article.
let's say an attempt made :) 11:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
There are a lot of one and two sentence paragraohs throughout the article. These should be combined with other longer paragraphs.
done 11:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)

I am placing the article on hold. Dough4872 (talk) 23:54, 16 July 2009 (UTC) ~~: All noted, thanks. Will deal with the remainder, next week when I have the source material to hand. NtheP (talk) 07:27, 17 July 2009 (UTC)~~[reply]

All addressed, please let me know if any more is required. NtheP (talk) 20:56, 21 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

There are still citation needed tags in the article, these need citations added to them. Also, the logo in the infobox should not be a thumbnail. Also, I am a little concerned with the width of the map. Is there any way this can be fixed? Dough4872 (talk) 15:20, 23 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Can't reduce the map width any further without completely redoing it to make it a single text column which would double the length of the map at least. Width was one of the reasons it was originally at the bottom of the article. Fixed logo width NtheP (talk) 18:09, 23 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, so we still need the missing citations added and the logo in the infobox fixed. Dough4872 (talk) 18:12, 23 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

All addressed NtheP (talk) 21:16, 23 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I will now pass the article. Dough4872 (talk) 00:24, 24 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]