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Talk:Nobles of the Mystic Shrine (march)

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Did you know nomination

[edit]
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Theleekycauldron (talk09:13, 31 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

John Philip Sousa conducting at the Shriners' National Convention, June 7, 1923
John Philip Sousa conducting at the Shriners' National Convention, June 7, 1923

Created by Kavyansh.Singh (talk). Self-nominated at 20:49, 13 January 2022 (UTC).[reply]

  • Hiya. This is obviously new and long enough, and the text fits with policy (no plagiarism, properly written, very correctly attributed); the hook is verified AGF and interesting, as well as properly written. QPQ done, LoC image is properly licensed and free to use, audio sample is in the public domain. I am however concerned about the Ladd source, which is a Masters' thesis, and, per WP:RS, must only be used under exceptional circumstances which I cannot really determine are met here (I'm agnostic on the issue, mind you, but please state your case as to why we can use it here). Dahn (talk) 22:37, 13 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
    • @Dahn – Hi! Thanks for you diligent review, and efforts to check sources. I know that Masters' thesis is generally not considers so reliable, but the way I cite it in the article is not much of an issue. Published by and available from the Kansas State University, it is used mostly as a primary source to quote Ladd in the "Composition and analysis" sub-section. Other instances include citing it for instrumentation and structure. Moreover, I don't think sourcing requirement of DYK is so strict that a source like that would be outright rejected. On another note, it is the most comprehensive source about the topic I could fine, so I want to keep it. Thanks! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 09:39, 14 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

To T:DYK/P7 without image

GA Review

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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Nobles of the Mystic Shrine (march)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Unexpectedlydian (talk · contribs) 18:56, 2 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Hi there, I'm happy to start reviewing this article using the table below. Comments to follow soon! Unexpectedlydian♯4talk 18:56, 2 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.

Lead

  • All good.

Background

  • All good.

History

  • "The new march saluted Shriners", but was specifically dedicated to the Almas Temple and the AAONMS. A minor point, but could you define "Shriners"? Are they just members of the AAONMS?

Instrumentation

  • Do we know the original instrumentation of the march? If not, is Philip Sparke's version the most commonly-used arrangement?
    • We don't know the original instrumentation, but Sparke, according to the source, made several notable changes and "uses standard symphonic band instrumentation and simplifies some of the scoring from the original work by Sousa". Basically a simplified modern version. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 12:02, 4 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.

Lead sections

  • No problems.

Layout

History

  • I wonder if we can separate out the content into a separate subheading titled something like "Performance"? The following text isn't strictly about composition and analysis and may be better suited in a "Performance" section: The march was first conducted during the Shriners' National Convention in Washington, D.C., in June 1923. At the Griffith Stadium, Sousa conducted a band of around 6,200 members—the largest he had ever conducted. Sousa was wearing navy-blue uniform and a red Almas Shrine fez. He conducted the march twice before conducting "The Thunderer". Various Shriners accompanied Sousa during his tours, and during the later years of Sousa's band, the majority of his members were Shriners. Contemporary versions of the march by the Ottoman military band also use the Jingling Johnny with the fortissimo.
  • "Instrumentation" is its own subheading, but should it come under "Composition and analysis"?

Words to watch

  • No words to watch identified.

Fiction

  • N/A

List incorporation

  • Instrumentation list is appropriately handled.


2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
  • All sources are in the appropriate section.


2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).

Source check

American National Biography

  • All good

White, 2009

  • All good.

Ladd, 2014

  • General comment: This seems to be a master's thesis which, according to WP:SCHOLARSHIP, should only be used if they have been proved to have had considerable influence. I don't know if this thesis has? Nonetheless, because the thesis is an analysis of a historic work—not a scientific work—and has been supervised by a relevant academic, I will give it the benefit of the doubt on simple factual statements. However, the use of a direct quote from Ladd (alongside the academic institution) gives the impression that this is the opinion of a recognised musicologist. Could we remove the quote?
  • A Google search of Adam Richard Ladd doesn't bring up anything relevant to the author, so I definitely don't think he should be red-linked.

Birley, 2006

  • All good.

United States Marine Band

  • All good.

Bierley, 1984

  • All good.

Dugan, 2018

  • All good.

United States Marine Band, 2020

  • A Jingling Johnny bell tower is also added, which is played to "bring home the exotic character" of the march. As this is a direct quote, an attribution should be added to the text.


2c. it contains no original research.
  • Statements are appropriately backed up by citations, content that there has been no research.


2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.
  • Copyvio brings up example of quotation and proper attribution. No other concerns raised during spot-checks.


3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
  • This is a short article, but it covers the main and appropriate aspects of a piece of music: background, composition, analysis, and performances.
  • I think the infobox could be expanded to include more information, e.g. the form (march), and details of the premiere.


3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
  • Again, it's a relatively short article but definitely is focussed.


4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
  • Article is presented neutrally.


5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
  • Short edit history, full of constructive edits, no evidence of edit-warring.


6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
  • Both images are tagged with copyright status.


6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.


7. Overall assessment.