Talk:Nik Russian con/GA1
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Reviewer: TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:35, 13 August 2011 (UTC)
- I will review this one.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:35, 13 August 2011 (UTC)
The LEAD leaves the reader wondering the following:
Were there any law enforcement actions?- Any judicial rulings?
Any monetary penalties?
- As best as I can find, no to all three. It's mentioned later in the article, but, as Russian hadn't actually taken any cash from his victims, he hadn't technically committed a crime. A civil case wasn't pursued due to a lack of money. I have added this information to the lead.
Also, did he use his position in the book industry to publish the ads?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 18:15, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
- I guess he wasn't really working within the book industry - he had a low-paying job at a single branch of a much larger chain. I have now specified this in the lead.
- Might entry-level be a better term than low-paying which has a very pejorative connotation.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 21:21, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
- Yeah, that is better. Changed. A Thousand Doors (talk | contribs) 22:25, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
What other names does the press use to refer to this incident? They should be included in the first sentence in bold.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 21:25, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
- I've checked the sources, and there wasn't really any other name by which it was referred - if it was called anything, it was called the Great Reality TV Swindle. A Thousand Doors (talk | contribs) 22:25, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
- What about the Project MS-2 Hoax?. Project MS-2 should be in the LEAD somehow.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 22:50, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
- Ah, I see what you mean. Added to lead. A Thousand Doors (talk | contribs) 23:48, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
Also use the {{GBP}} with the link option on first use of the pound.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 22:50, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
- Background
Do you have a year for "He studied English at Goldsmiths, University of London, but dropped out before the exams"?
- No, unfortunately. I would hazard a guess that it was circa 1998, but I can't find any sources to verify that.
This sentence is runon: "He had set up businesses and written unpublished novels, before he took a job working at a branch of Waterstone's in London and then decided that he wanted to produce his own reality television programme."
- Rewritten.
Do you have a citation for "Most British reality TV programmes at the time centred on a team of people trying to accomplish a specific goal or target"?
- Added.
"Phillips featured as a DIY expert on programmes such as Trading Up and Renovation Street" needs a verb.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 18:36, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
- "Featured" is the verb, surely?
- I mean it needs to be is featured, was featured, or has been featured to be grammatical in this context.
- Ah, I see. Changed. A Thousand Doors (talk | contribs) 22:25, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
- Should be had been I think.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 22:44, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
- Changed.
What are these unlinked shows. Can you associate them with a network? E.g., BBC's Trading Up and Channel 4's Renovation Street--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 22:44, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
- Done.
- Swindle
I don't understand this phrase: "set practical and psychological tests"--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 18:57, 14 August 2011 (UTC)--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 18:57, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
- Russian set the contestants tests during the audition phase; some of the tests measured how they responded to practical problems, while others measured their psychological responses. I've changed the word "set" to "given" - is this an improvement?
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- On hold for some basic revisions.
- Pass/Fail:
- Thank you very much for the review! A Thousand Doors (talk | contribs) 20:36, 14 August 2011 (UTC)
Great work. Thanks for your patience. I can now pass this article.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 00:24, 15 August 2011 (UTC)
- That's great, thanks Tony! And thanks again for the review! A Thousand Doors (talk | contribs) 00:31, 15 August 2011 (UTC)