Talk:Nigeria Airways/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Bob1960evens (talk · contribs) 15:41, 25 June 2017 (UTC)

I will review. I will work through the article, making notes as I go, and returning to the lead at the end. Please indicate when issues have been addressed by adding comments or possibly the {{Done}} template. I am not in favour of using strikethrough, as it makes the text difficult to read at a later date, and it is an important record of the GA process. Bob1960evens (talk) 15:41, 25 June 2017 (UTC)

History

Early years

• The same day, WAAC Nigeria signed a 15-year agreement... Should be "On the same day,..."
  •  Done: [1]--Jetstreamer ^Talk 16:35, 1 July 2017 (UTC)
• The contract also contemplated that these routes would be operated in a pool agreement. The nature of a pool agreement needs a few words of explanation.
  •  Done: Add brief explanation [2].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 20:35, 13 July 2017 (UTC)
• In early 1961, Nigeria became the only owner of the company; This needs to explain how this occured. Details appear in the ref used.
  •  Done: [3]. Percentages are not mentioned, however, as they don't add up 100%.--Jetstreamer ^Talk 16:35, 1 July 2017 (UTC)
• Aimed at replacing the DC-3 aircraft park... What does park mean in this context? Suggest using an alternative word, or clarifying.
  •  Done: ″aircraft park″ replaced with ″fleet″ [4].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 16:35, 1 July 2017 (UTC)
• That year, the contract with BOAC was revised and a new agreement was signed in April. Beginning a sentence with "That year" does not read well. Suggest "The contract with BOAC was revised and a new agreement was signed in April of the same year."
  •  Done: Reworded as suggested [5].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 16:35, 1 July 2017 (UTC)
• Employment was 2,191 at March 1970. "Employment" is not suitable here. Suggest "The company employed 2,191 people at March 1970." or similar.
  •  Done: Reworded [6].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 16:35, 1 July 2017 (UTC)
• Boeing 707s were leased from Laker Airways and Ethiopian Airlines to fill the capacity shortage left by the crashed aircraft on the Lagos–London route. This gives the impression of a string of crashed aircraft scattered along the route. Add some explanation, so we know if it was one or many crashes.
  •  Done: Rewritten [7]. Removed original research. None of the sources say the leased aircraft were used to fill capacity shortage left by the crash of another aircraft.--Jetstreamer ^Talk 22:33, 1 July 2017 (UTC)
• In October the same year, the Fokker F28 entered the fleet on a lease agreement with Fokker, and later that year the type was ordered. Should be "a Fokker F28", since that aircraft has not previously been introduced, and "later that year one/some/3/a fleet of the type were ordered."

•  Done: Modified to ″In October 1972, a Fokker F28 entered the fleet on a lease agreement with Fokker, and later on the type was ordered.″ [8]--Jetstreamer ^Talk 23:51, 1 July 2017 (UTC)

• In 1982, a Boeing 747 was leased from Scanair. Suggest "was leased from the Danish charter airline Scanair" to add a bit of context.
  •  Done: Modified as suggested [9].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 14:14, 2 July 2017 (UTC)
• Following an accident occurred in November 1983 that involved a Fokker F28... doesn't quite make sense. Suggest "Following an accident involving a Fokker F28 that occurred in November 1983..."
  •  Done: Rewritten as part of an expansion [10].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 14:14, 2 July 2017 (UTC)

Demise

• debts that outstripped its revenues virtually from the mid-1980s. Not sure what "virtually" means here. Suggest omitting it, unless it implies something I haven't guessed, in which case, change it for a more suitable word.

•  Done: Word removed [11].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 19:39, 2 July 2017 (UTC)

• While 1,000 jobs had been cut by late 1986, Nigeria ordered the airline to reduce the number of employees —8,500 at the time, with a staff-aircraft ratio of 500:1— even more. Suggest reordering into chronological order, to avoid the awkward parethetical phrase. So, "Although 1,000 jobs had been cut by late 1986, reducing the number of employees to 8,500, or 500 for every aircraft operated, the Nigerian government ordered the airline to make further cuts..." or somesuch.
  •  Done: Reworded to ″Even though 1,000 jobs had been cut by late 1986, Nigeria ordered the airline to further downsize (the number of employees was 8,500 at the time, or 500 for each aircraft in the fleet), and to reduce or discontinue unprofitable routes″.[12]--Jetstreamer ^Talk 19:39, 2 July 2017 (UTC)
• At April 2000, employment was 4,516. Same issue as before. Suggest rewording.

•  Done: Reworded to ″At April 2000, the number of employees was 4,516.″ [13]--Jetstreamer ^Talk 19:02, 5 July 2017 (UTC)

• That year, the International Finance Corporation (IFC)... Suggest "Later that year, ..."
  •  Done: [14]--Jetstreamer ^Talk 19:02, 5 July 2017 (UTC)
• commissioned by the Nigerian Government Nigerian Government is wikilinked here, but has already been linked in the body of the article. Remove link.

•  Done: Delinked [15].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 23:47, 8 July 2017 (UTC)

• Air France, Lufthansa and Swissair were all considered. It is reasonably obvious where AIr France and Swissair are based, but not Lufthansa, so suggest "Air France, Swissair and the German airline Lufthansa were all considered."

•  Done: Added base country for two of the airlines in the list [16]. Please note that both British Airways and Virgin were added as part of an expansion.--Jetstreamer ^Talk 23:47, 8 July 2017 (UTC)

• Other option was to liquidate the carrier. Poor grammar. Suggest "Another option..."

•  Done: ″Other option...″ replaced with ″Another alternative...″ [17].

• A fleet comprising 32 aircraft in 1984 gradually depleted to a three-strong at that time. Reads awkwardly, and it is difficult to work out when "that time" was, because the previous timeframe also refers to "that year". Suggest "A fleet which had consisted of 32 aircraft in 1984 had been reduced to just three by 2000."

•  Done: Changed to ″A fleet that had 32 aircraft in 1984 was gradually reduced to just three aircraft in October 2000.″ [18]--Jetstreamer ^Talk 23:47, 8 July 2017 (UTC)

• Likewise, there were various allegations... Likewise is not appropriate here, since what it is introducing is not similar to the previous sentence. Suggest "There were also various allegations..." or similar.

•  Done: ″Likewise″ replaced with ″Furthermore″ [19].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 23:47, 8 July 2017 (UTC)

• the Nigerian government replied banning British Airways operations Suggest "the Nigerian government responded by banning British Airways operations"

•  Done: This sentence now reads ″In 1997 the UK Civil Aviation Authority banned the airline from operating into its territory citing safety concerns; in return, the Nigerian government barred British Airways from operating in the country.″ [20]--Jetstreamer ^Talk 23:47, 8 July 2017 (UTC)

• yet the ground facilities of the folded Nigeria Airways were eventually taken over by Arik Air. Suggest a few words of explanation about Arik Air, to clarify the "yet", which should really be "but".

•  Done: Added additional info regarding Arik Air [21]--Jetstreamer ^Talk 23:47, 8 July 2017 (UTC)

Destinations

• This is a single sentence paragraph, and indeed a single sentence section. Suggest "and Port Harcourt. The international network comprised five routes, to Abidjan ..."
  •  Done: [22].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 14:19, 5 July 2017 (UTC)

Fleet

• The airline operated the following aircraft throughout its history. "Throughout" implies that all types were operated all of the time. Suggest "During the course of its history, the airline operated the following types of aircraft." or similar.
  •  Done: Modified as suggested [23].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 13:57, 5 July 2017 (UTC)

Accidents and incidents

• The following list includes events that had reported fatalities, carried with the hull-loss of the equipment involved, or both. What does "carried" mean in this context? Expand to clarify.

•  Done: Reworded [24].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 20:47, 13 July 2017 (UTC)

• when it collided short before touchdown Should be "shortly before touchdown."

•  Done: Indeed [25].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 20:47, 13 July 2017 (UTC)

• Had its nosegear collapsed after overrunning the wet runway on landing at Ikeja Suggest "Its nosegear collapsed..."
  •  Done: Changes to ″The nosegear collapsed ...″ [26].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 20:47, 13 July 2017 (UTC)
• The hijackers demanded the resignation of the Nigeria's government. Should be "of Nigeria's government" or "of the Nigerian government".

•  Done: The sentence now reads ″The hijackers demanded the resignation of Nigeria's government and to be flown to Frankfurt.″ [27]--Jetstreamer ^Talk 01:12, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

I will move on to checking the references next. Back soon. Bob1960evens (talk) 17:03, 25 June 2017 (UTC)

Following rewrite

• I have copyedited the article following your re-write, to resolve some minor issues of spelling and grammar. There are two issues which need some attention.

• and flights experienced a 32% reduction... Is this a 32% reduction in the number of flights, or a 32% reduction in the number of passengers? Please clarify.
• when the carrier began codesharing with British Airways... It is not obvious what codesharing is. Please clarify.

 Done: As to the first point, it was a reduction in the number of flights actually. Regarding the second one, I added a link to codeshare agreement [28].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 20:07, 17 July 2017 (UTC)

References

• General: There are several refs which use date={{date|2003-4-1}}{{spaced ndash}}{{date|2003-4-7}} to give a date range, but this is not supported by the cite journal template, and hence generate "Check date values in: |date= (help)" errors. Suggest using the end date to resolve, since that is how the urls work.

•  Done: All fixed [29].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 20:17, 7 July 2017 (UTC)

• Multiple pages: I think it is unnecessary to give a separate url for page 50 and page 51, when having selected page 50, you can use the next page arrow to move to page 51. Recommend giving a proper page range. So for ref 1 "Directory: world airlines – Nigeria Airways (page 50)", this would become "Directory: world airlines – Nigeria Airways (pp.50-51)" with the url for the first page of the block.

•  Not done I do not agree with the reviewer in this particular point. Both pages of this reference are used to support different claims, so both of them are needed.--Jetstreamer ^Talk 18:06, 16 July 2017 (UTC)

• I am not convinced that the article needs to quote text from the sources as part of the references either. None of the sources seem particularly controversial, and nor are they concerned with biographies of living people, which are the two main reasons for adopting this style.

•  Done: Quotations removed from references [30][31][32][33].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 16:41, 16 July 2017 (UTC)

• Ref 6 Nigeria's Flying Elephant (page 1 of 3). If you click on the "Next page" on the archived link, you get to the whole article as a single page, which would be a better url for the link.

•  Done: This was fixed as part of the recent expansion of the article.--Jetstreamer ^Talk 21:07, 13 July 2017 (UTC)

• Plagued by mis-management, corruption, and overstaffing in the lead is supported by four refs (6,7,8,9) which seems excessive for just 6 words.
  •  Done: Citations removed from the lead [34]--Jetstreamer ^Talk 19:46, 16 July 2017 (UTC)
• Ref 8 Nigeria Airways faces tough choices. This is used four times to support four consecutive sentences (That year, the International Finance Corporation (IFC)...). They should be amalgamated, with a single ref at the end to cover all four sentences.

•  Done: Fixed as part of the recent expansion.--Jetstreamer ^Talk 21:07, 13 July 2017 (UTC)

• Ref 22 The last VC10 delivered (page 291) As far as I can see, the information supported by this ref is on page 292, and so the second url should be used.

•  Done: Reference tightened [35].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 21:07, 13 July 2017 (UTC)

• Ref 33 World airline directory – Nigeria Airways (page 331). This is used twice, and both instances use info on page 332. The first url is unnecessary.

•  Done: Agree with the reviewer [36].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 18:19, 16 July 2017 (UTC)

• Ref 50 Commercial aircraft of the world – DC-10 (page 70). This is used twice on consecutive sentences. A second url to page 73 is not actually used to support anything. Replace by a single ref and a single url.

•  Done: Fixed.--Jetstreamer ^Talk 14:17, 16 July 2017 (UTC)

• Ref 64 Britain Stops Nigeria Airways from Returning to Lagos-London Flight. Something is wrong with this. It shows the page briefly, but changes to another irrelevant page.

•  Done: Fixed after re-archiving the reference.--Jetstreamer ^Talk 21:07, 13 July 2017 (UTC)

• Ref 74 Accident Synopsis for 5N-ABD. This generates a 403 (Forbidden) error.

•  Done: Added a link to the archive url.[37].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 21:07, 13 July 2017 (UTC)

• Ref 86 Airline flight safety: 1983 reviewed (page 284). The ref states the info is on page 286 (which it is) but there are urls to five separate pages. Remove the four redundant ones.

•  Done: Reference tightened [38].--Jetstreamer ^Talk 14:17, 16 July 2017 (UTC)

• It has been possible to check nearly all of the references, and they have been used correctly to support the text as written. If anything, there are too many references, as there are several cases where just a few words are supported by multiple refs.

Lead

• The lead should introduce and summarise the main points of the article. As such, it is a little short for the length of the article. Maybe you could include the fact that it was owned by three parties until 1961, that they have operated 43 different types of aircraft, and that they bought the last Douglas DC-10 ever built. You may spot other themes that need to be mentioned.

•  Done: Lead expanded as suggested.--Jetstreamer ^Talk 02:05, 15 July 2017 (UTC)

The formal bit

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

   See comments above

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   See comments above

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

• That is the review completed. There are quite a few items to address, but many of them are fairly simple grammatical issues. I will put the article on hold. Do let me know if there is anything which is unclear. You normally have 7 days to fix things, but that is negotiable if you are getting on with the modifications, and need a bit more time. Bob1960evens (talk) 16:56, 27 June 2017 (UTC)
  • @Bob1960evens: Thank you for your review. Honestly, I don't think the nominator will work on the points your raised, but I'll do since I put a lot of effort in expanding this article and really want it to pass the nomination. I'm afraid I don't have time until the next weekend, though. Hope this is fine for you.--Jetstreamer ^Talk 17:38, 27 June 2017 (UTC)

• @Jetstreamer: Next weekend is fine. I understand that we are all volunteers here, and that sometimes real life has priority. Bob1960evens (talk) 21:45, 27 June 2017 (UTC)

• @Bob1960evens: It took me two extra weekeneds to carry out the requested modifications but I'm happy to say that we're done with the review. Apart from the points you raised, I managed to substantially expand the article. Hope it is now of your liking.--Jetstreamer ^Talk 19:50, 16 July 2017 (UTC)

• @Jetstreamer: I think the substantial expanding of the article has improved it, but has also introduced a couple of extra issues. I have copyedited the text, to deal with some grammar and spelling issues, but there are two items that still need your attention. I have added them to a "Following rewrite" section above. Bob1960evens (talk) 15:26, 17 July 2017 (UTC)

• @Bob1960evens: Thank you very much for correcting my mistakes in the recent expansion. Please note that I went ahead with the minor changes you requested above.--Jetstreamer ^Talk 20:09, 17 July 2017 (UTC)

• I am happy that all of the issues raised have now been addressed, and am pleased to award the article GA status. Thank you for stepping in to address the issues, even though you were not the original nominator. Happy editing! Bob1960evens (talk) 22:39, 17 July 2017 (UTC)

• Cool. Thanks for your time!--Jetstreamer ^Talk 01:59, 18 July 2017 (UTC)