Talk:Ni no Kuni mobile games/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 21:20, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
It seems that I owe a debt JAGUAR 21:20, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
Initial comments
[edit]- I could be wrong, but I think the bold title in the lead should cover "mobile games in the Ni no Kuni series", as it sounds more relevant. But feel free to ignore as I could be wrong
- "It follows the story of Oliver and his friend Mark, and their attempts to construct a car" - might sound better as It follows the story of Oliver and his friend Mark, as they attempt to construct a car or something similar?
- "The second title, Ni no Kuni: Daibouken Monsters, is a social card role-playing game" - what is social referring to? Playing with other people or the computer? If so, how about multiplayer?
- The plot of the second game isn't explained in the lead
- "Since its release, there has been no news regarding the development or release of subsequent chapters" - this could do with a source
A short and sweet article. The references all check out fine, and there were little prose issues to bring up. I'll leave this on hold until they're all dealt with 
JAGUAR 18:48, 8 November 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, Jaguar! I've tried to address your concerns. The definition of a Japanese mobile social card game can be found here, for clarification. As for the sentence about the lack of news regarding Hotroit Stories: I really want to put a reference here, but there has literally been nothing written about the game since its release. Should the sentence just be removed?
- If you have any more concerns, please let me know. Thanks! – Rhain1999 (talk to me) 20:51, 8 November 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing them, Rhain! The sentence in the lead should be fine, and also I didn't understand the definition of "social" in Japanese games, so that too should be fine. Anyway, this looks great now, so I'll be promoting this. Well done!
JAGUAR 21:45, 8 November 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing them, Rhain! The sentence in the lead should be fine, and also I didn't understand the definition of "social" in Japanese games, so that too should be fine. Anyway, this looks great now, so I'll be promoting this. Well done!
