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Talk:New Slaves/GA1

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GA Review

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Nominator: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 20:45, 27 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: MaranoFan (talk · contribs) 14:47, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

What's up, Kyle! I will have this review done within the next few days. Consider reviewing one of mine since I have many in the queue but this is not necessary. Best, NØ 14:47, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

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  • The lead does look bulky to me, honestly, but this seems like a matter of stylistic choice and three paragraphs is okay given the word count here per MOS:LEADSIZE.
  • Write out "New York City" in full in the parenthesis for the studio name in the infobox.
  • Both record labels are only mentioned in the infobox and in neither the lead nor the body. It also seems they are not sourced currently
  • "with a songwriting credit for Gábor Presser as a result of a sample of his composition" - "with Gábor Presser receiving credits due to a sample of his composition"
  • " a few critics praised Ocean's appearance" - "a few critics praised Ocean's contribution" maybe? To make it obvious this isn't about his physical appearance
  • The mention of the Complex and Paste lists seems random, how about mentioning Complex, Consequence, Pitchfork, and Time, etc. instead and specifying they placed it in the top 5?
  •  Comment: I'm not sure about this, would that be too extensive? Also, would you want me to mention Complex and Time named it the best song of 2013 and then say it was also listed by other publications including...? --K. Peake 19:15, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • If you want to keep the sentence length around the same, maybe it could be "The song was listed as one of the best tracks of 2013 by multiple publications, including at number one by Complex and Time." I just think it makes more sense to include Time's number one placement over Paste's less significant number eight.--NØ 19:55, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The" should be lowercase in "The Yeezus Tour" when used mid-sentence I think.
  • "West declared that its second verse was the best rap verse of all time in July 2013" - Not sure "declared" is the right word to use. Maybe "stated"?

Background

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  • Mention Kanye West by his full name and with the wikilink at the first mention in the Background section.
  • Does Travis Scott need to be introduced as a GOOD Music signee? I just feel like he is notable enough to not need an introduction tbh
  • "standing as the first leak from the album" - "becoming the first leak from the album"
  • "In a 2014 interview with Zach Baron of GQ" - "In a 2014 interview", because the mention of Baron does not add any necessary context.

Composition and lyrics

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  • ""HBA War" is already introduced as Dutch E Germ's song in the previous section so perhaps just the song name would do here.
  • A link to consumerism might be helpful both here and in the lead.
  • Do we usually censor and refer to the N-word as the "N-word" on Wikipedia? I have no idea but assumed this would be discouraged per WP:NOTCENSORED
  • I'll defer to your expertise in writing hip hop articles and consider just calling it the "N-word" correct. Probably best to stick to the source anyways.--NØ 19:55, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Release and promotion

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  • "West's sixth studio album Yeezus - "West's sixth studio album, Yeezus". But also shouldn't Yeezus be introduced as West's sixth studio album upon the first mention in the Background section and not here?
  • "West updated his website's map with 24 further locations" - "West updated his website's map with 24 other locations"
  • Does Milan need a link? Seems like a well-known place
  • "West tweeted that he was opening the debate of the song's second verse being the best rap verse of all time in July 2013" - Did he open a debate as stated here or declared it as fact as stated in the lead?

Reception

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  • There's nothing wrong with this section r.e. the GA criteria in my opinion. It may require a significant reduction in direct quotes and a clubbing of similar opinions to cut down on the bulk of text if you plan to nominate it for further processes, though.

Accolades

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  • ""New Slaves" was named to year-end lists of multiple publications in 2013" - Let's go with "included in" instead of "named to"
  • The Consequence and Village Voice lists should at least be covered in the prose, imo, so we are at least getting to lists where it was placed in the top 5.

Live performances

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  • "West stood in place and looked dead-eyed into the camera throughout" - It is not clear what "throughout" is meant to convey here. Throughout the performance?
  • "attempted to make them more appropriate for TV" - "made them more appropriate for TV". I don't see any reason to believe this attempt failed.
  • Lowercase "the" in "the Yeezus Tour" when used mid-sentence.
  • "made an unannounced appearance for Dave Chappelle's comedy show" - maube "on Dave Chappelle's comedy show" instead of "for"

Lawsuit

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  • "Presser launched a lawsuit against West for one third of "New Slaves" that includes an unauthorized sample of his work" - "Presser launched a lawsuit against West for one third of "New Slaves", alleging that it includes an unauthorized sample of his work"
  • "On March 20, 2017, West reached an out-of-court settlement with Presser that was undisclosed" - I think it should be more clearly stated that it was the settlement amount that was undisclosed
  • "although allowed the sample for another week before he sought an agreement" - "although he allowed the sample for another week before seeking an agreement"

Cover versions and other usage

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  • Looks good!

Credits and personnel

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  • "Credits adapted from the Yeezus liner notes." - Make this a full sentence by adding "are" between "Credits" and "adapted" since a period is used.

Charts

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  • Good

Certifications

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  • Should it be just "Certification" in the section title and caption since it's a single certification?

References

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  • Yeezus should be italicized in the titles of refs 12, 15, 18, 24, 25, 50, 73 and 79 in this revision.
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  • Should it be just "External link" since it's a single link?

Final comments and verdict

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  • Putting this  On hold. Overall, this is a very impressive article and you have done a great job with it. Amazing amount of critical commentary considering this is an album track!--NØ 16:04, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • You are most welcome. I have replied to one point regarding the lead section but it is not a very important issue so the GAN ✓ Passes.--NØ 19:55, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
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