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Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 00:57, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]


I'll be reviewing this article. Expect feedback in the next few days. ceranthor 00:57, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • "The 3,242 metres (10,636 ft) high volcano" - not sure metres high sounds right grammatically
  • "The 3,242 metres (10,636 ft) high volcano lies in the Linares Province and the Maule Region" - from my understanding, the Linares Province is within the Maule Region, so might be better as "Province, part of the Maule Region"
  • "It features a summit crater and several parasitic craters." - I'd say parasitic vents to avoid repeating crater twice in close proximity
  • "The volcano featured a glacier in 1976 and is the headwater of the Achibueno and Blanco rivers." - Two questions here... how can it only have featured a glacier in one year? And I think it would be more clear to say it serves as the source of the two rivers, rather than the "headwater"
  • "After a first phase characterized by basaltic andesite effusion" - Isn't effusion usually reserved to medicine? I think you mean effusive eruption]s
  • "Nevado de Longaví features an unusual magma chemistry that resembles adakite." - The chemistry doesn't resemble adakite, rather the rocks themselves
  • "It may be the consequence of the magma being unusually water-rich; such may occur because the Mocha fracture zone subducts beneath the volcano." - don't think the semicolon is necessary, better as "water-rich, which may occur..."
  • Link explosive eruption?
  • I'd both spell out and explain what "Servicio Nacional de Geología y Minería" is, rather than just linking the acronym at the first mention
Rewrote the lead to account for these issues. I am not sure how to word the part about the adakites, though. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 16:00, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
How is this? "The volcanic rock that makes up Nevado de Longaví features an unusual magma chemistry that resembles adakite (having geochemical characteristics of magma thought to have formed by partial melting of altered basalt that is subducted below volcanic arcs)" ceranthor 19:43, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Also, make sure you clarify the acronym for the sentence "Nevado de Longaví is monitored by the National Geology and Mining Service of Chile" by adding the acronym in parentheses. ceranthor 19:45, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Geography
  • "Nevado de Longaví is usually put into the "Transitional Southern Volcanic Zone"." - Could you clarify what this actually means, though?
  • "Farther east lie Tatara-San Pedro and Laguna del Maule.[4] " - which are...?
  • "It is one among 60 volcanoes in Chile and Argentina that lie within the Southern Volcanic Zone." - This sentence is out of place; reorganize its location in the paragraph
  • "0.050 in/Ms" - this unit doesn't seem useful to me as someone from the US
  • "There is a strong north-south gradient" - Think you want an endash here
  • " The northernmost volcanoes are the highest,[7] lie on thicker crust which causes their magmas to have a stronger crustal contribution,[6] are dominated by andesitic and more evolved magmas and have the highest quantity of incompatible elements in their magmas. " - Split into two sentences
  • I think the section title should be Geology. The only parts that should be under Geography are the one sentence intro and the first paragraph in the section, IMO.
  • "It was formerly considered 3,080 metres (10,100 ft)[9] or 3,181 metres (10,436 ft) high" - same note as lead, awkward read
  • "the elevation accepted nowadays is 3,242 metres (10,636 ft)." - Nowadays is redundant
  • "Scarps on the east-southeast flanks" endash?
  • "south-southwestern flank" - same as above
  • "Nevado de Longaví is a relatively small volcano.[7] With a diameter of 9 kilometres (5.6 mi), a basal surface area of 64 square kilometres (25 sq mi) and a height above base level of 1,800 metres (5,900 ft)" - comma at the end of this
  • "In 1976, a glacier was reported on the southern slope" - Is it still there? Very unclear...
Got most of this done. Actually, I was wondering if the "Transitional Southern Volcanic Zone" point could be united with the one about north-south differences. The volcano apparently still has glacier(s) so changed the tense to present. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 16:12, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Composition
  • "Nevado de Longaví has chiefly erupted andesite, which form about 80% of the volcano." - forms
  • "the latter during the Holocene stages.[7]" - since this comes before eruptive history, this is unclear to a general reader in terms of timeframe. clarify
  • "incompatible elements are underrepresented.- incompatible elements already linked once previously
  • "Nevado de Longaví's magmas have been referred to as adakitic," - already linked earlier in the article
  • "and it's been proposed" - contractions aren't encyclopedic language
Done, not sure how the timeframe can be worded here; I did try to say "holocene" without any specification. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 16:15, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Eruption history
  • "These younger lava flows were themselves subject to glaciation" - no need for the link here
  • "The last activity occurred during the Holocene,[2] and included explosive activity." - no need to link Holocene or explosive eruption again
Delinked. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 16:40, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Sources
  • Looks like source 2's url is broken.
  • Why are certain journal articles cited in the references while others use footnotes and are cited in the bibliography?
  • Otherwise, sources seem reliable.
Fixed the source(s). The reason for a disparate format is because the <ref> type of format does not work for citations separated for page numbers; I now tend to use {{sfn}} instead. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 16:40, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Comprehensiveness
  • Anything else to add about climbing?
  • Any specific details to add for hazards?
This will have to wait; climbing history is difficult to find sources for. The second I may find hazard maps or the like, it will have to wait. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 16:40, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Copyright Violations
  • Checks out via Earwig.
Images

These are my thoughts so far. Once these are addressed, I'll revisit and see if I have further suggestions. ceranthor 04:45, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the comments. I'll see to get them handled over the next few days. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 11:27, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@Jo-Jo Eumerus: Mostly looks good. Made a few more changes to the article itself as well. Let me know when you get a chance to finish everything, particularly to look for additional sources as mentioned above. ceranthor 19:50, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@Ceranthor: Did get some information for hazards. Mountaineering and the like the problem I see is that it's not clear whether any of the few sources I can find are reliable; c.f https://www.veoverde.com/2015/01/nevado-de-longavi-el-arquetipo-de-una-montana-maravillas-naturales/ and http://www.maulee.cl/proyecto-turistico-nevado-de-longavi-toma-cuerpo/ and http://www.economiaynegocios.cl/noticias/noticias.asp?id=371074 and http://www.vivimoslanoticia.cl/region/centro-invernal-y-canchas-de-ski-se-acercan-al-nevado-de-longavi/ and http://www.elamaule.cl/noticia/sociedad/turismo-y-desarrollo-regional-asi-sera-el-proyecto-centro-invernal-el-nevado-de-lon and http://www.diarioelcentro.cl/noticias/cronica/alcalde-emplaza-al-gobierno-a-apurar-proyecto-centro-invernal-nevado-de-longavi and http://www.atentos.cl/2017/04/08/en-cabalgata-efectuaron-nueva-prospeccion-al-nevado-de-longavi-por-centro-invernal/. WP:RSN has never been of much use in such cases. This seems reliable but is not very informative. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 14:30, 26 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
That's alright. For now, I think it's sufficiently comprehensive, so I'll be passing it. Congrats. ceranthor 16:40, 26 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
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