Jump to content

Talk:Nestory Irankunda/GA2

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Idiosincrático (talk · contribs) 00:46, 8 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Will be reviewing this article in due season: Idiosincrático (talk) 00:46, 8 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]


GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

· · ·

Comments

[edit]
Addressed comments
Early life
  • "At the age of 8" > "At the age of eight", also mention that it was a "local" club per citation #4
  • Access-date citaiton #3 req
  • Access-date citaiton #4 req
  • "NPL outlet Adelaide Croatia Raiders" > "National Premier League (NPL) side Adelaide Croatia Raiders"
  • Access-date citaiton #5 req
  • Access-date citaiton #6 req – I'm gonna stop mentioning it, but all citations need access dates, they're important :)
  • "the head of youth for Adelaide United" > "the head of youth for A-League side Adelaide United"
  • "Upon being asked about "Nestor"" > "When asked about Irankunda in 2023, ..."
  • Change the KEEPUP reference to keepup.com, instead of the KEEPUP in the "website" field.

2020–22: Development > change to "2020–2022: Development

  • De-link Adelaide United
  • Remove "a choice made by Andrioli who led the youth teams for Adelaide"
  • "featuring for Adelaide United NPL side." > "featuring for the Adelaide United NPL side."
  • Citation #9 > 'Adelaide United FC' needs to be put as the source publisher (there's a seperate section in the cite web template), anytime you cite a club source, the club needs to be cited at the 'Publisher', not the 'website'
  • "when he made his debut in the Original Rivalry, drawing 1–1 against Melbourne Victory" > "when he made his debut against rivals Melbourne Victory, drawing 1–1 at the Melbourne Rectangular Stadium". Wikilink 'rivals' to the The Original Rivalry, as well as the stadium and Melbourne Victory.
  • Again KEEPUP references > keepup.com, #11 & #12
  • "first league goal, a free kick, in stoppage" > remove second comma
  • Citation #18 & #21 > Adelaide United FC as publisher again, I'm gonna stop mentioning this, it may be prevalent across other citations
  • "By 24 April" > "In April" or "On 24 April"
  • "goalscoring tally to 3 after" > "goalscoring tally to three after"
  • De-link "The Original rivalry"

2022–23: Breakthrough season

  • "several team meetings as well as not" > "several team meetings, as well as not"
  • De-link Melbourne City the second time its mentioned, opening para
  • "awarded the Isuzu UTE Goal of the Month" > "awarded A-League Goal of the Month"
  • "Troubled with disciplinary issues, Irankunda was openly criticised by the media for his rash actions, notably starting a brawl in the match against Western Sydney Wanderers that involved Wanderers' captain Marcelo getting sent-off for headlocking Irankunda after he provoked Calem Nieuwenhof and an off-camera booking for kicking the broadcaster’s pitchside microphone in a match against Perth Glory on 23 April" – Reword, try using semi-colons, helps alot for sentences like this or consider splitting the sentence.
  • "23 April" > 23 April 2023", Haven't mentioned 2023 yet.
  • citation #37 > change 7NEWS to Seven News and wikilink to Seven News
  • "at Perth Rectangular Stadium", Wikipedia uses stadium names over sponsored ones preferably (so long as they're available).
  • "him to a total of 8 goals in his A-League career" > "his A-League career total to eight goals"
  • "which led him to surpass" > "which surpassed"
  • "In early May, beIN SPORTS reported that" > "In early May, beIN SPORTS Australia reported that", make sure you wikilink the Australian subsidiarity on Bein.
  • "front of a Mariners' record of 20,059" > "front of a Mariners' record crowd of 20,059"
  • "to have an effect during the match" > "to affect the match"
  • "consisted of Nectarios Triantis and Jacob Farrell who had successfully..." > "consisted of Nectarios Triantis and Jacob Farrell, who had successfully..."

2023–24

  • Not much here, just citation formatting as mentioned above

International career

  • Remove the 2022–2023: U17 Asian Cup title
  • Put "Irankunda is eligible to represent Tanzania, Burundi, or Australia at international level." as the first sentence of the youth section.
  • "call-up from Australia to represent the Australia U17" > "call-up from Australia to represent the under-17 side"
  • "in the 2023 AFC U-17 Asian Cup qualification" > "in 2023 AFC U-17 Asian Cup qualification matches"
  • "against Northern Mariana Islands, netting" > "against the Northern Mariana Islands, netting"
  • "Irankunda performances resulted in Australia topping the group and qualifying for the AFC U-17 Asian Cup" > Reword, it reads as if he was the cause of qualification, when in reality it was a team, use something like: "Irankunda helped Australia qualify top of the group etc..."
  • "appear for the "Socceroos," surpassing" > "appear for the "Socceroos", surpassing"

Player profile

  • Quote box – the quote needs to be in quotation marks "", de-link Carl Veart and remove first name, after the dash say something like – Veart on Irankunda's training style" or something similar.
  • "Additionally, Irankunda often opts to shoot rather than pass when inside the goal area, resulting in both goals scored and missed opportunities." – citation?
  • "Physically, he surpasses the average A-League teenager in maturity and power, displaying explosive speed, balance, and strength." – according to whom?

Personal life

  • Citation #85 – Publisher: Department for Education South Australia, not the website
  • "his driving license" > "his driver's license"
  • De-link NPL (I changed my mind on this, helps clarify what NPL is in the section)
  • "brothers as his heroes as well as his mother" > "brothers as his heroes, as well as his mother"

Career statistics

  • There's no citations in this section??
  • Change 'National Cup' title to Australia Cup and remove note + template at the bottom of the table.

Honours

  • Completely remove this section as an All-Stars call up is far from a notable honour.

Other

  • This article really needs some pictures, try a picture of Kigoma, Tanzania in his Early life section or a picture of a stadium he scored at.

External link

  • Remove section as Soccerway website already cited in article.

I have more issues with the article, but I'll leave as is for now, let me know if you have any problems. I have many issues with your reference formatting, All need access-dates. Any offical, non-news outlet source needs to be listed as a publisher, not a website. Eg: Adelaide United FC, Football Australia and Department of Education South Australia.

Reply

[edit]

@Idiosincrático I have taken in most of your reviews, including the citations and rechecked most of them if I could. I have a question about what you mean with "Reword, try using semi-colons, helps alot for sentences like this or consider splitting the sentence". Can you give me an example of what you mean. Cheers, JC Kotisow (talk) 04:10, 8 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Just thought this sentence was too hard to read: "Troubled with disciplinary issues, Irankunda was openly criticised by the media for his rash actions, notably starting a brawl in the match against Western Sydney Wanderers that involved Wanderers' captain Marcelo getting sent-off for headlocking Irankunda after he provoked Calem Nieuwenhof and an off-camera booking for kicking the broadcaster’s pitchside microphone in a match against Perth Glory on 23 April 2023." – figured there was probably a better way to word it. Say:
"Troubled with disciplinary issues, Irankunda has been criticised by certain media outlets for various rash actions on the pitch. He notably started a brawl in a match against Western Sydney Wanderers, the fight resulted in Wanderers' captain Marcelo getting sent-off for headlocking Irankunda after he provoked Calem Nieuwenhof; in a match against Perth Glory in April 2023, Irankunda also received an off-camera booking for kicking a broadcaster's pitch side microphone. – This is just an example, you don't have to use it, but I think it's an improvement. I noticed you made some changes, I'll have another read through later this week... Hope this helps :) Idiosincrático (talk) 11:51, 8 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Idiosincrático I see what you mean and I completely agree. I will change it soon and hope you give it a read in the coming weeks. Cheers, JC Kotisow (talk) 00:23, 9 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Further comments

[edit]

Good stuff, I made a few minor changes on the article, just a couple small things below...

  • Citation #2 > needs access date
  • Citation #60 > Football Australia needs to go into the publisher section
  • De-link A-League after its mentioned for a second time in the lead. > "debutant in A-League history"
  • Also in lead: "he led the Australia U17 squad to qualification" > "he helped lead the Australia U17 squad to qualification"
  • Early life: "Growing up in Adelaide, Nestory found" > "Growing up in Adelaide, Irankunda found"
  • Early life: "eventually invited Nestory to trial for the youth" > "eventually invited him to trial for the youth"
  • Do you have a source which has his NPL statistics that are listed in his infobox?

@JC Kotisow: Other than that, I might make some other small minor changes and a source review, then I'll see that the article is promoted in no time. Great article :) Idiosincrático (talk) 05:09, 12 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Idiosincrático Gameday is the main reliant source for NPL statistics and DRIBL is also used but is harder to navigate for statistics. I put two links with one for Gameday that has his statistics between 2021 and 2022 and one with DRIBL for 2023 statistics. I have fixed based on what you commented. Cheers, JC Kotisow (talk) 05:48, 12 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Idiosincrático Just got your message. Again, thanks for reviewing the article, I know it takes a lot out of your time. Your views as well as the previous reviewer were helpful and insightful. Hopefully, we can help we each other again. Have a good day, JC Kotisow (talk) 07:09, 12 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Closing notes

  • Just on the previous GA review, I believe the concern for the lack of neutrality, issues with writing, and listed 'other notes' have all been addressed through this review and since the previous discussion was closed. As for the sourcing, I've completed a lengthy spot check and recognise that refs such as keepup.com and club sources are used heavily. But as the primary A-League outlet since the 2020 takeover (site closely associated with the APL), I believe its use, along with club sources, are appropriate for this article. As a result, I am passing this review, brought to standard during review.