Talk:Nels Nelsen/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:58, 1 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be reviewing this article. Overall it's good, but I have a few concerns:

"Despite being holding the world record at the time," take out being
"Nels married Emma Pickard, with whom he had ten children." first name usage is discouraged, just use Nelsen.
- I was trying to disambiguate between Nels and his brother, but I guess his brother would be Nilsen. Arsenikk ^(talk) 07:09, 2 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"who's flexibility made it easer to participate in tournaments." whose flexibility
"He moved to North Vancouver where he raised his family." any time period on that? as is it just seems thrown in.
- I know. I haven't been able to establish when he moved or even when he married, just that he ended up there at some time. Arsenikk ^(talk) 07:09, 2 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"Among his methods to improve his jumps," comma not needed
"sick with the influenza," the not needed
"After his accident, he started working to established" you mean 'working to establish' the ski club, or is there a different meaning? Either way, needs rewording.
- Yes, just a typo. Arsenikk ^(talk) 07:09, 2 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I will put the article on hold and will pass it when the issues are fixed. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:58, 1 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Everything has been seen to, except the move to North Vancouver. Thanks for taking the time to review the article. It's my first sports bio, so it has been new ground for me. Arsenikk ^(talk) 07:09, 2 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

No problem; everything looks good now, so I'll pass the article as a GA. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 15:40, 2 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]