Talk:Nathaniel Mendez-Laing/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Courcelles (talk · contribs) 17:17, 26 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll give this one a read. Courcelles (talk) 17:17, 26 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox is about two months out of date.

He's been injured since his appearance on 25 August, so has played no games since then.

Why say "Over 50", "Over 80" in the lead instead of simply giving the exact numbers? - Changed
The phrasing of the sentence that starts "Having represented England at under-16 and under-17 level, he made his senior début on 25 August 2009" implies that that was his senior debut for England, please rephrase. - Done
Also, how old was he at his senior debut? - Added
"starting a 3–0 victory over" We Americans would say "Starting in a..", but I'm not sure if you're missing a word here or if it is just regional differences... Fixed
"He made forty appearances in total, scoring five times, during the season as Peterborough made the play-offs, where they won promotion back to the Championship at the first attempt." Needs citation. - Done
When is the "close season"? - Done
"Instead of move back to" Moving? - Fixed
"after the clubs agreed an undisclosed" agreed to an?

This may be more of a British thing, I believe it's more standard to use an undisclosed fee. See a few examples, The Daily Telegraph, Sky Sports and Liverpool

Believed to be 100,000 pounds according to whom? - Removed
"debut" "début" Doesn't matter to me which you use, but you should only be using one. - Fixed
"Peterboroug's relegation" Typo - Done
"switched number shirt" Shirt number would sound more natural? - Fixed
"in the 74th minutes" No need for that to be plural. - Done
Rochdale... so much to say about his first year there, and almost nothing about his second?

I've expanded the whole section now to hopefully cover his time a bit more thoroughly.

"well as, being" Do we need that comma? - Removed
Anything to say about his U16 and U17 appearances for England at all?

I've searched quite a bit but, other than basic "played for England at U16 and U17 levels" mentions, there doesn't seem to be any real info on his appearances.

Anything to say about his life outside of football other than he was once in traffic court? Is this really significant enough to put on a BLP's "permanent record", so to speak?

His speeding conviction was part of the page before I began working on it. I have no strong feelings on it staying or being removed.

I think I'd lose it at this point, given that's literally all we have to say about his "personal life", and a traffic ticket is not a fair summary of someone in that aspect. Courcelles (talk) 20:22, 26 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

That's all from me. Courcelles (talk) 17:34, 26 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, I've made a start. Hopefully get through these as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 18:34, 26 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Courcelles: I've responded to all of the comments raised above, let me know your thoughts. Kosack (talk) 20:09, 26 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Kosack: One comment, I know we're all trying to score some more points before the Wikicup ends! Courcelles (talk) 20:22, 26 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Courcelles: Ha, I'm well out of the running now, quite happy to have made the final round more than anything. I've removed the traffic infringement. Kosack (talk) 20:33, 26 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good, promoted. Courcelles (talk) 20:35, 26 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]