Talk:Nasrin Rahimieh

draft comments

Hi @Damian jalali: I'm providing online support for your course at UMD and I have a few comments on your draft:

• The "further readings" section (normally just titled "Further reading" without the "s") usually contains formatted bibliographic references. Take The Autobiography of Malcolm X#Further reading as an example. In this case the book you have there could be listed as Rahimieh, Nasrin (2001). Missing Persians: Discovering Voices in Iranian Cultural History. Syracuse University Press. ISBN 0815628374.
• While some articles on academics contain "selected works", I generally feel these aren't appropriate for wikipedia and are best left to an external link to the subject's website. The list of published books is probably fine, but I would recommend removing the subsection you have on "Selected Articles and Chapters in Books".
• Statements like "Dr. Nasrin Rahimieh sees the success in lifelong leadership in the passion for work" and "Rahimieh choose her carrer based on her belive which is about investing energy in life and contributing herself to something constructive" don't really fit the expectation of tone wikipedia readers have for our articles. Try to stick to noting facts and research on the subject, rather than allowing the exuberance of a particular source to carry over to wikipedia. In this case, the two sentences appear to be copied directly from the cited source. Even if the source is cited, copying or closely paraphrasing a source is not appropriate for wikipedia and can potentially lead to the article being deleted. In this particular case, I'd recommend re-writing the entire section to avoid copying the source in question.
• You have "got his Ph.D. on comperative literature in 1988", which doesn't seem to match the pronouns in the remainder of the article.
• "Nasrin Rahimieh is a professor in Humanity department of University of Calofornia, Irvine. She is teaching Persian literature." I think these two sentences can be combined into something like "Nasrin Rahimieh is a professor of Persian literature ar University of California, Irvine"
• Take a look at an article like Markus Brunnermeier for an example of how to structure an article on a current academic. You don't need the same level of detail (and it may not be possible if there are substantially fewer sources covering your subject), but various terms and concepts within the article are "wikilinked" to help readers gain some context if they so desire and their major contributions are covered in prose. Again, the latter may not be possible if there aren't sources available, but it's generally a good way to provide a summary of a working academic in wikipedia. For instance, you may wish to include JSTOR 4311511 and write a very brief summary of "Missing Persians".
• I'm a little worried that the topic may not meet wikipedia's guideline for inclusion. I have searched around a bit and I'm struggling to find some biographical sources beyond the somewhat perfunctory biographies that universities provide for academics on their web page. Have you found any magazine or journal articles on Rahimieh specifically, or chapters in books? Interviews with major news organizations will work as well. Without those, I'm concerned that a wikipedia editor reviewing this article may feel that it does not meet our requirements for inclusion in the encyclopedia and suggest that it be deleted, which would negate a lot of your work.

Please let me know if you have any questions or need any help regarding the above. Thank you. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 00:17, 6 November 2014 (UTC)

I made some edits, like rewording the intro/lede sentence, brought the link for Missing Persians into the work section, formatted the citations, and made a few copy edits. The article continues to need copyedits for capitalization, grammar, and complete sentences. Much of the content is lifted from the 2 sources, which is particularly evident in the info from McMasters. It would be nice to have some of it written in your words - to avoid copyright issues and gain a greater encyclopedic tone, like the example Adam provided.

I agree with the points about the list of articles. It would be good to remove the list, and follow Adam's suggestion about writing a summary of her important works - and it would be great if you could find reviews about her works, including articles, to provide a fuller picture of her influence for the Career section. I changed the heading for "books" because it appears as if there are two journals there. This is a list of six books for her at WorldCat.

It would be a shame if you're unable to find sufficient sources for this woman, due to her rare role as an outspoken voice about Iranian culture and women writers. I hope that there are sufficient resources. Some potential sources are: this interview, this event, this event, on this journal's editorial board, this book and this book... and potentially more at McMasters] and University of California.

I'm not finding a good biography, but perhaps piecing together information from these sources can help build one. It seems that she was an immigrant to Canada, I'm guessing from Iran, and then came to the United States to teach. (which require sources to substantiate) Is she also a filmmaker?

Good luck, this could be incredibly interesting!--CaroleHenson (talk) 16:53, 10 November 2014 (UTC)

Peer Review

I would start by attempting to compile more information on Nasrin Rahimieh, you mention that Rahimieh attended the University of Alberta, but was she born in Canada or did she immigrate there? I understand that she is currently alive but are there any sources that go more in depth regarding her personal life? Do they mention if she attended the University of Alberta for undergraduate and what degree she completed? Is that any information regarding the subject of her dissertation?

I would also be careful regarding diction, I would start the first paragraph off with "Nasrin Rahimieh attended the University of Alberta and in 1988 earned her Ph.D. in Comparative Literature". I would just try to focus on word choice and choosing words that flow within your sentences to convey a clear message. What do you mean by "past-President"? Is that a role she had or does that indicate she once was president, if the latter the hyphen can be taken out.

I like that you added the "Works" section, it shows the significant amount of literature she has contributed to and how she could impact others. The other thing would be to insert your own analysis of why Rahimieh had a positive impact on women's culture, why was her writing significant? What impact did it have on society? Kfruiz (talk) 00:35, 21 November 2014 (UTC)@kfruiz

@Kfruiz and Damian jalali: Good input and comments. One thing to watch out for is adding your own opinion. Material should come from reliable, secondary sources (e.g., newspapers, books, etc.) Content that is your own opinion is considered original research - and that kind of content is not allowed. Great to see the peer reviews!--CaroleHenson (talk) 03:25, 21 November 2014 (UTC)

Peer Review

First of all, I didn't really like your word choices. What exactly is a past-president? You need to pick better words, so that your wiki page is better to understand. I personally liked how you showed a lot his works, so that I people have an idea on what he wrote about, but I feel as if there is not enough information on this page overall. You should talk more about his personal life. Did she have a lot of family members? What kind of environment was she was raised in? Where is she from? You said she went to the University of Alberta; is she from Canada? These are some of the questions that you need to answer, when making a wiki page on someone, so that people can have a better understanding on who she is. ~Cjumeh11 (talk) 21:36, 25 November 2014 (UTC)

Peer Review

I really liked how you showed off all the works that Rahimieh. I agree with the above reviewers that you should add how Rahimieh had an impact on Womens literature and culture? What do her works consist of that are so significant and need to be recognized? I also agree that your word choice for the page was a bit awkward. I went in and changed some sentences around to make them less choppy, but I would go back in and edit words like "past president." I understand what you mean by past president but you should use words like "former president," or something a little more formal. I also think that you should look into more about her personal life. What university in Alberta was she a professor at? Where did she immigrate to Canada from? Who influenced her to become the author she is today?Samgriff (talk) 23:14, 25 November 2014 (UTC)