Talk:Narragansett land claim/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cryptic C62 (talk · contribs) 01:04, 25 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

~~"Oneida Indian Nation of New York v. County of Oneida (Oneida I) (1974) decision" I don't understand why there are two parenthetical comments after the name of the case.~~
- Done. Oakley77 (talk) 20:06, 29 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"The Narragansett claim was "the first of the eastern land claims to be settled."" I am of the opinion that in an article like this, short quotations should be used in one of two circumstances: First, it is difficult or impossible to rephrase without losing meaning, and a quotation is the only way to avoid plagiarism. Second, to present language that is archaic or colorful. This quote is neither.
- I am unaware of the unwritten rule on quotations, so I don't agree. Oakley77 (talk) 20:17, 29 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - Perhaps my phrasing was a bit too strong. What I meant was that, in general, any short phrase in quotation marks should have some concrete reason for being in quotation marks. If no such reason exists, the quote should be paraphrased instead. The two reasons I gave above are the only ones that I could think of that would apply for an article like this, but there could certainly be other justifications. --Cryptic C62 · Talk 14:35, 30 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    - In my view, superlative claims (or, if you don't view "first" as a superlative, claims like first and last) provide such a justification. It is important exactly how the cited source phrased the superlative claim. Although I personally understand the inclusion criteria that are the basis of this claim, the best way to avoid original research or mis-citation in this area is quotation. Savidan 03:54, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
~~The lead does not summarize any material from the Further developments section. It should.~~
- Done. Oakley77 (talk) 20:17, 29 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I'm very confused about the subheading In re Narragansett Indians (R.I. 1898). The vast majority of the Background section falls under the subheading. If all of the material is relevant to In re Narragansett Indians (R.I. 1898), than that subheading should be eliminated and the main heading should be In re Narragansett Indians (R.I. 1898) or Background. If it is not the case that all of the material is relevant to In re Narragansett Indians (R.I. 1898), then there should be additional subheadings to separate the information.
- Added two new sub-headers. Oakley77 (talk) 20:17, 29 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
~~"Only out of a desire to avoid conflicts with neighboring colonies, the court proceeds, did Williams obtain a royal charter for Rhode Island in 1643 or 1644." I don't understand this sentence.~~
- I do understand, as do presumably most readers. Oakley77 (talk) 20:17, 29 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - Ah, I decoded its meaning after reading it the ninth time. The present tense "proceeds" is what confused me.
~~The color code for File:Charlestown RI lg.PNG needs to be explained, either in the image itself or the caption.~~
- Added new caption. Oakley77 (talk) 20:19, 29 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
~~File:Ninigret.jpg needs a more descriptive caption.~~
- It appears to have been given one. Savidan 04:11, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I believe that Motion to dismiss and Further developments can and should be expanded.
- Could you please be more specific about the sources you would like to see used for this expansion? Or, failing that, at least more specific about the facts you would like to see even if you do not know to where they can be cited? Savidan 03:56, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - Motion to dismiss should answer the questions of "why?" that the lay reader will inevitably have. Why did the defendants think that this was a nonjusticiable political question, and why did the court disagree? In Further developments, how did the Narragansett gain federal recognition? How and when have the Naragansett attempted to establish a Native American gaming enterprise?
"The Narragansett have so far been unsuccessful in their efforts to establish a Native American gaming enterprise." This should include a time reference (probably just the year that the source was written), per WP:ASOF.
- Fine. Savidan 17:24, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
~~The teeny weeny paragraphs at the end of Rhode Island Claims Settlement Act should be expanded, merged, or deleted.~~
- Created one new paragraph, merged both little ones into first one. Oakley77 (talk) 20:21, 29 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Why does the body of the article mix present and past tense? "What follows was a 40 year struggle between Rhode Island and Connecticut..." is a particularly bad example. I don't know what the conventions are in legal writing, but for an encyclopedia article this should all be in the past tense.
- I have fixed the example given. Savidan 03:59, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - And the rest of the article? I'm still seeing instances of "the court claims" and "the opinion reviews". The material should be written entirely in the past tense unless there is substantial justification to indicate otherwise. --Cryptic C62 · Talk 12:50, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    - When describing a judicial opinion (as with, for example, the plot of a novel) the present tense is permitted if not preferred. Savidan 17:16, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      - Got a policy/guideline page which says that? --Cryptic C62 · Talk 14:38, 2 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
The references in this article should not use smallcaps as advised by the manual of style.
- The smallcaps follow from The Bluebook citation style. The MOS does not dictate the use of any given citation style and in fact dictates pluralism between citation styles (e.g. the citation style chosen by the first major contributor should prevail). I do not understand the smallcaps rule to trump this. Savidan 03:59, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - WP:ALLCAPS says: "Reduce newspaper headlines and other titles from all caps to sentence case or title case." That seems to be pretty definitive statement on the matter. --Cryptic C62 · Talk 12:50, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    - I read that as referring to the title of an article (i.e. "OBAMA WINS ELECTION"). And to all caps, not small caps. Regardless it does not displace WP:CITE. "Wikipedia does not have a single house style, though citations within any given article should follow a consistent style." "Editors should not attempt to change an article's established citation style merely on the grounds of personal preference, or without first seeking consensus for the change. If the article you are editing is already using a particular citation style, you should follow it." "if there is disagreement about which style is best, defer to the style used by the first major contributor." Savidan 17:20, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      - WP:CITE also indicates that citation styles should be consistent within a given article. Here I'm seeing some authors in small caps, some in standard case, and some journals in small caps, and some in standard case. This makes me feel very sad. --Cryptic C62 · Talk 14:38, 2 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
In the footnotes, the average reader will have no idea what "40 A. at 373." means. I suggest giving the full citations in the References section, just as you've done with Jarboe and Vecsey & Starna. These should also have hyperlinks to assist with verification.
- It is a case citation. In other words, a citation to the Rhode Island Supreme Court's opinion in In re Narragansett Indians. I do not believe it would be useful or consistent with the citation style used to move cases to the reference section, which is currently reserved for scholarly sources. As for hyperlinks, I oppose these as well (at least in footnotes). There is no ban on offline sources or a requirement that a reference contain an external link. A state court decision from the 19th century is almost certain not to be available online. Even though some sites do post the text federal decisions, they have their own problems. I am not in a position to verify their accuracy and neither is Wikipedia. They are chock-full of ads and may change their urls constantly. The source cited in the written decision of the court in the case reporter, not the version of it on some unofficial site. Savidan 04:11, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The article is not quite at GA status yet, but the issues are quite fixable. I'll put the article on hold for a week to allow for that to happen. Once those issues have been settled, I'll run through the prose again to check for clarity. --Cryptic C62 · Talk 03:31, 25 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I still see an extreme over reliance on primary sources. SImultaneously the article hardly uses any of the scholarly works that are written about the Narragansett and their history andf the land claims of the east coast such as [1][2][3][4][5][6][7] just to name a few. I keep having serious OR concerns regarding this article. To be sure - it is a fine article - but it is essentially a piece of original research based on close readings of the court documents. ·ʍaunus·snunɐw· 13:35, 6 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks for bringing this up, Maunus. I don't know that I would describe this article as being original research, but it is certainly not a thorough summary of the literature, which compounds the issue of comprehensiveness I mentioned earlier. Clearly, there is still a significant amount of work to be done on this article; I am closing the GA review. --Cryptic C62 · Talk 23:57, 6 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]