Talk:NMS Mărăști/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: L293D (talk · contribs) 02:22, 21 November 2018 (UTC)

Will be doing this in the next few days. L293D (☎ • ✎) 02:22, 21 November 2018 (UTC)

Source review

All refs look reliable, although I don't really like the grouped citations.

Image review

File:Scout cruiser Sparviero (Mărăști).jpg has been nominated for deletion. Right now I think it will be kept, but it would be nice to have someone close the deletion discussion.

Nothing I can do about that except ask for a Commons admin to close it and God only knows when that will happen.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:20, 25 November 2018 (UTC)

• I've requested a close at c:COM:AN and someone's done it. L293D (☎ • ✎) 23:15, 25 November 2018 (UTC)

Infobox

• Clarify that Sparviero and Mărăști are the same ship in the infobox caption.
• There is an inconsistency in the length between the infobox and prose.
  • Good catch.

Lead

• She was renamed again when she was re-purchased by the Romanians in 1920. - clarify that she was renamed Mărăști
• A lot of "she"s in the lead - perhaps change a few to "Mărăști" or "the ship".
• After the Axis invasion of the Soviet Union on 22 June 1941 (Operation Barbarossa), - not a fan of the parentheses, pipe the link or place in commas.
  • I've had other reviewers who preferred to see both the operation name and what it was to so readers don't have to click on one or the other.
• She escorted convoys evacuating Axis troops from Sevastopol before ran aground in April. - doesn't really make much sense, running should do better.
• In early 1944 the Soviets were able to cut off and surround the port of Sevastopol on the Crimean Peninsula. She escorted convoys evacuating Axis troops from Sevastopol before ran aground in April - merge in one sentence
  • Rephrased
• Renamed Lovkiy , the ship only served for a year before she was returned to the Romanians who renamed her D12 in 1952. - remove space before comma and change one occurrence of renamed to a synonym if possible.

Design and description

• The ships had an overall length of 94.7 meters - as said earlier, 94.7 is inconsistent with the infobox.
• Where was the last 152 mm gun?
  • Thought that I'd mentioned that, but obviously not

Construction and service

• Sparviero was laid down by Pattison on 29 January 1914 at their Naples shipyard. - the ship was laid by Pattison? The person or the company? Also unlink Naples or shipyard per WP:SEAOFBLUE
  • Rephrased. The links will remain, just because you know what they refer to doesn't mean that the average reader will.
• On the night of 29/30 September, the ship was the flagship of seven destroyer - the flagship of seven destroyer? s?
  • Good catch
• On the night of 29/30 September, the ship was the flagship of seven destroyer that put to sea to support an aerial bombardment of the Austro-Hungarian naval base at Pola when they encountered a force of four Austro-Hungarian destroyers and four torpedo boats on a similar mission against the airbase at Ferrara. - split in two sentences
• I've tweaked the wording a little, but I see no reason to split the sentence.
• Link Aquila
• Sparviero, together with Aquila and their sister Nibbio, was covering the recovery of a broken-down flying boat in the Gulf of Drin with when they spotted three Austro-Hungarian torpedo boats sweeping mines on 5 September 1918. - "covering the recovery" sounds repetitive to me. Also "with when" does not sound very good.
  • Rephrased
• The following month, they escorted Allied ships as they bombarded Durazzo, Albania, on 2 October. They then covered the ships bombarding Medua, Albania, on 21 October. - merge in one sentence to avoid the confusing pronouns.
• Rephrased

World War II

• Massively outnumbered by the Black Sea Fleet, the Romanian ships were kept behind the minefields defending Constanța for several months after the start of Operation Barbarossa on 22 June 1941, training for convoy escort operations. - split in two
• On 1 December Mărăști, Regina Maria and her sister Regele Ferdinand were escorting a convoy to Odessa when a submarine[Note 1] unsuccessfully attacked the convoy. - convoy comes up twice, change one to "the ships" or something similar.
• Mărăști was renamed D12 when the Romanian destroyers were assigned numbers when the Destroyer Division was redesignated as the 418th Destroyer Division in 1952. - three times the verb 'is' and twice 'when', reword or split
  • Rephrased

GA Progress

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Thanks for the review.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 21:28, 24 November 2018 (UTC)

• There is still the image problem. L293D (☎ • ✎) 02:15, 25 November 2018 (UTC)

• Good now. L293D (☎ • ✎) 23:15, 25 November 2018 (UTC)

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The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.