Talk:Númenor/GA1
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Reviewer: BennyOnTheLoose (talk · contribs) 11:37, 24 April 2020 (UTC)
- Thank you very much for taking this on. Chiswick Chap (talk) 12:59, 24 April 2020 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Comments round 1
[edit]Happy to discuss or be challenged on any of my comments.
- Lead: Is there a source for the pronunciation as "/ˈnuːmɛnɔːr/"?
- Removed, I suspect it's editorial, but also quite unnecessary.
- Lead: Elenna-nórë is in the lead but not mentioned again. Might be worth adding to the article if there is more that can be said.
- Lead: The redirect from fictional place to Lists of fictional locations isn't all that helpful. Fantasy world could perhaps be one option from the redirected page.
- Removed.
- Lead: Says that Númenor is in the "Sundering Seas" whereas infobox has "The Great Sea" with a link. Consider whether these should be made consistent.
- Fixed.
- Lead: "Commentators have noted, too, that it echoes" - "too" could probably be omitted here. Consider replacing "it" with what the "it" refers to - presumably something along the lines of "the devastation of Númenor."
- Done.
- Infobox: "Lifespan" doesn't seem like quite the right term. I suppose I'm thinking of something clunkier like "Fictional historical era" but I'm happy for "lifespan" to be retained.
- Fixed.
- Infobox: If the infobox refers to an island rather than an island civilisation, then I think Elros Tar-Minyatur should be omitted here as he did not found the island itself. Elros Tar-Minyatur is in the infobox, but appears in the article only as Elros. Consider adding the "Tar-Minyatur" to the first occurrence.
- You're right. "Island kingdom" it is.
Physical Geography
[edit]- Physical geography: "With clean air, King Tar-Meneldur built his tall tower here to watch the stars." I think minor rewording, unless the tall tower was built of clean air.
- Fixed.
- If there is anything in Tolkein that says anything else about Tar-Meneldur, I think it would be good to add that here for a bit of context.
- Glossed.
- "A tall tower was constructed there by Elros,"; "days of Tar-Aldarion"; Ar-Pharazôn In the same vein as the point above, add a little context if possible. (There is already more about Elros in the later section Land of Gift and about Ar-Pharazôn under Sauron)
- Glossed all three of 'em.
- "important in Númenórean policies" - should that be in "politics"? ("Policies" could be right.)
- Clarified.
- "As the Shadow fell over.." as this is the first reference, consider linking to the later part of the article or adding a brief note here.
- Done. I'd not normally do this but I take your point.
- I would normally just change this sort of thing, but best to check here - is "shipts" a typo?
- Fixed.
Culture
[edit]- Link Beleriand at the first mention. (It's linked later.)
- Done.
- Consider linking Edain to Man (Middle-earth)
- Done.
- Link Adûnaic at the first mention.
- Done.
- Consider linking Quenya
- Done.
- Consider briefly explaining what oiolairë was (or linking to List of fictional plants which has a description). The reference to "bough of" does already indicate that it was a type of plant.
- Done.
Fictional History
[edit]- Land of gifts: "wonderful plants" - do we know what was wonderful about them?
- Rm adjective.
Comments Part 2
[edit]- Sea kings "forbidden to sail west out of sight" - if this is a direct quote, probably deserves a page reference.
- Reworded.
- "tantalizingly not far west" - you'll know better than I do whether "tantalizingly" fits here; I'd suggest a minor reword to something like "tantalizingly close to the west of" as I think it reads better without a "not" there. This is another one I'm happy to let stay as it is if you prefer the current wording.
- Done.
- Atlantis: as I don't have access to the Hale source, I'm assuming good faith with respect to it supporting all of the first paragraph.
- Noted. There is a direct quote in the Hale citation.
- Atlantis: "the only drowned island in earlier literature" - I'm had a go at looking at a machine-translated version of the Delattre source, and didn't find this part (" the only") there. I think it is better to caveat this with something like "in surviving" literature too, as lots of early literature is lost. Also, if "earlier" can be qualified - I think it basically means ancient here, rather than just "before Tolkien".
- Done.
- Fall: I've assumed good faith with respect to the summary of Shippey (2005).
- Noted.
- Fall: "Tolkien, a devout Roman Catholic," will need a separate citation if not verified in Letters #131.
- Added.
Thanks for the speedy responses earlier Chiswick Chap. I've not done the image and copyvio checks yet, but certainly not found any big issues so far. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:44, 24 April 2020 (UTC)
- Many thanks. Chiswick Chap (talk) 16:50, 24 April 2020 (UTC)
- Chiswick Chap thanks for all your work on the article for and your responses to my comments. I'm happy to pass the article for GA. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:15, 25 April 2020 (UTC)
- Many thanks. Chiswick Chap (talk) 16:50, 24 April 2020 (UTC)