Talk:Mute (music)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 14:44, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Immediate Failures

It is a long way from meeting any one of the six good article criteria -
It contains copyright infringements -
It has, or needs, cleanup banners that are unquestionably still valid. These include{{cleanup}}, {{POV}}, {{unreferenced}} or large numbers of {{citation needed}}, {{clarify}}, or similar tags. (See also {{QF-tags}}). -
It is not stable due to edit warring on the page. -

Links

Prose

Lede

Could we get a WP:short description? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Might be worth using a {{other uses}} for Mute, as it's a disambig Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done Have linked palm mute the first time it is used

timbre (tone) - change these around. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done

string instruments and brass instruments - repetitive, try string and brass instruments. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done

", and". Usually and doesn't follow punctuation, unless using a serial comma. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Not a grammarian, but in this case "especially the trumpet and trombone" is set off by commas, so I think a comma is necessary?

without disturbing others - maybe "discretely?" Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done Thanks, I've been looking for a word that captures this

dampening a triangle. - dampening seems like a jargon term. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done I'm using it in the definition "make less strong or intense", so I reworded to "grasping a triangle to dampen its sound".

end of the instrument, or bell. - this needs explaination. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Question: What exactly needs explanation? Would "flared, open end" help?

Whats a bell. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:37, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Oh, bell just means the end of the instrument. I'll put it in a parenthetical expression to make that clear. Ovinus (talk) 19:56, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Of brass mutes, the straight mute is the most common - On brass instruments, a "straight mute" is the most common Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Partly done Kept "the", since it is referring to a type of mute rather than a specific instance of a mute

some guitars and bass guitars have physical mutes that can be switched on and off - doesn't the word "guitar" cover bass? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

You're right in that "Guitar" is a class of instruments, but for most people it implies a classical guitar which is higher pitched. I'll think about this.

Done Linked as well

link Trombone in caption. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:27, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done

General

I think this article is missing a paragraph explaining what a mute is, outside of what is described in the lede. Remember, an article should be understandable without reading the lede (and vise versa). Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:39, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Working on it.

Okay, I've tried to write a overview containing info in the lead that's not in the body.

To the above point, the article opening to talk about how this is written on sheet music is quite a jump Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:39, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Agreed, but I'm not sure where else to put it. I'll try working it into the violin-family and brass sections.

See above.

Also, you should link again to terms when they are used in the body, even if you link them in the lede. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:39, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done I think I have fixed them

con sordini (Italian: with mute), abbreviated con sord., - the last bit should also be in brackets Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:39, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Should probably mention that the notation is referring to sheet music. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:39, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done Said "musical notation" specifically, which I think is sufficiently precise

Lots of repetition of words in this article - if you see the same word twice in a sentence, think how you could reword to avoid. Such as bell in "They are most often directly inserted into the instrument's bell, but can also be clipped or held onto the end of the bell". Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:39, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done I fixed the ones I could without introducing syntactic ambiguity in this diff. I'll keep this in mind for my future writing.

Please link when you use a new instrument name. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:39, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done All the ones I can find

Watch out for reforder issues, such as " all brass instruments.[20][10]" Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:39, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done Wondering if there's an automated tool for that...

You've already said who Sammy Nestico is, so you don't need to say what he does again. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:39, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done

An early version of the harmon mute was patented by John F. Stratton in 1865,[31] and the mute in its modern form was patented[32] in 1925 by George Schluesselburg.[33] - can we move all these refs to the end of the sentence. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:48, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done

The name derives from Patrick T. "Paddy" Harmon (died July 22, 1930) - is the nickname or death relevant. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:48, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Partly done I think the nickname is relevant because most sources refer to him as Paddy (including all the books I have on the topic), but I removed the death

Some trumpeters believe that denting the mute - do you mean like warping it? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:48, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done Rephrased to "... believe that dents on the mute's chamber improve sound..." For reference, this is what I'm talking about. The dents, at least in my experience, usually come from the mute falling out of the bell

Stopping - might be worth mentioning how someone uses their hand to stop Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:48, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Question: In the second sentence of that section I wrote "By inserting their hand fully into the instrument, airflow is limited, producing a quiet and nasal sound." Is this enough?

The derby or hat is a bowler hat - is this actually a bowler hat? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:48, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done (Ely) says "Shaped like a felt hat, derby mutes are held over the bell, without touching it. Originally, old felt hats were used." I guess I'll add "or similarly shaped object", since (Koehler) also does say it can literally be a bowler hat.

Woodwinds seems good. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:48, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Huzzah!

Should "Strings" instead read "string"? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:48, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done Also changed Woodwinds to Woodwind

For example, the popular Tourte mute (depicted) - this is what a caption on the image is for. Not the prose. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:48, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done Didn't know that, thanks

Palm muting is at palm mute. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:48, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done

funk and disco are piped to redirects that refer to the original target. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:48, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done fixed

GA Review

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Review meta comments

I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:44, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- I've made some inital comments, some are quite general. I think the big thing this article is missing is a section on what a mute is within the prose. Placed on hold. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:49, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  - I'll work on a "Definition" section preceding "Notation". Thanks, Ovinus (talk) 16:04, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - @Lee Vilenski: I've tried to address all the issues you raised. Thanks for the speedy and helpful review! Sincerely, Ovinus (talk) 19:47, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
      - I've made a few additional edits, but otherwise, this article is now in good shape. Promoted. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:48, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]