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Talk:Music of The Last of Us/GA1

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Reviewer: PresN (talk · contribs) 18:04, 15 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]


I'll be reviewing this shortly. --PresN 18:04, 15 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • You're having to twist the first sentence a bit to get the exact page title bolded, which isn't required. Try "The music for the 2013 action-adventure survival horror video game The Last of Us, developed by Naughty Dog and published by Sony Computer Entertainment, was composed by Gustavo Santaolalla.
  • The primary point of the article is the music, which happens to have been released on albums; as such, the mention of the soundtrack albums should be at the end of the first paragraph, after you talk about the other composers/what the music sounds like.
  • The lead feels a bit scant overall- maybe pull in a few more details from the production section
  • "He used various instruments to compose the score, including various" - double various, though both uses of the word are vague
  • "as reviewers considered that the music had been appropriated effectively for gameplay" - what? "and reviewers felt that the music connected well with the gameplay.
  • "In particular, critics felt that the minimalist approach the soundtrack's composition was fitting to the similar approach to gameplay" -> "In particular, critics felt that the minimalist approach of the soundtrack's composition fit with the similar approach to gameplay"
Production
  • Relink The Last of Us, just like you relinked the composer
  • "Throughout development of The Last of Us" -> "During the initial development of The Last of Us"
  • "Santaolalla was excited to work on the game; he previously wanted to work on video games, but refused to work on those" -> "Santaolalla was excited to work on the game; he had previously wanted to compose for video games, but refused to work on those"
  • "on composing; Santaolalla appreciated this freedom, feeling it assisted in the composing. To compose" - triple "compose" in a short section
  • "To produce unique tunes, Santaolalla recorded" - tunes? Seems like it was to produce unique tones, or sound quality.
  • "atypical of action music in other games" - you can't be atypical of some other things, only of a set- try "atypical for video game action music"
  • "stating that it's" - no contractions
  • "In the main game, during the section aptly titled" - "aptly" is editorializing, remove it
  • "In Left Behind, Ellie and Riley dance" - you haven't said what Left Behind is at this point in the main article
Albums
  • You're overlinking several things here - Santaolalla (twice), Ocean Way Studios in Nashville, downloadable content will be once you mention/link it in the production section
  • "It was first released on iTunes on June 7, 2013, and subsequently published by Sony Computer Entertainment on June 13, 2013" - as in Sony published a physical version? Or Sony published it digitally elsewhere? Actually, the sentence is wrong altogether- Sony is the publisher for all versions, iTunes was the first retail location but was not a publisher.
  • Since the AllMusic and Soundtrack Geek reviews are for the album, not the music-in-the-game, and you explicitly call out that the other reviews were for the game itself, you should call those two out as actual album reviews
  • Album reviews you're missing- gamerevolution (Game Revolution), sideone
  • The left behind section should probably mention that the actual album's title is not The Last of Us: Left Behind, but The Last of Us Volume 2
  • You're linking Santaolalla (and again in the tracklist) and Ocean Way Studios in Nashville again
  • Mention the publisher (Sony)
  • Mention that the recording/mastering locations were the same as for the first album
  • You couldn't find a better review than a student newspaper?
  • Again, mention that the Soundtrack Geek review is of the album, not the game
References
Images/media
  • Images are good
  • Music rationales are a bit weak
  • It's pushing it more than a bit to have two non-free images and two non-free music samples on the same article, but I'm not going to complain. Just be prepared if someone else drops by in the future to remove some

Alright, that's all! Not too bad; some of the text got away from you a bit, but it's all easy enough to fix. Placing this on hold, one week, yada yada. --PresN 18:57, 15 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, PresN! I've never really felt satisfied with this article, but I could never pinpoint why I felt this way, so having another opinion really helps. I've gone through and fixed most of your concerns, though I'd like to address a couple:
  • I really tried to find some other reviews for The Last of Us, Volume 2, but I simply could not find any.
  • You mentioned my use of placing the website in the |publisher= field; this was actually something that I was told to do in previous GA review, and I've just stuck with it ever since. If you don't like this use, let me know.
If you have any further concerns, please don't hesitate to let me know. Thanks! -- Rhain1999 (talk to me | current FLC) 00:07, 16 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I tweaked some of the lead, but the rest of it looks good. As to your two points- yeah, reviews for a DLC album are scarce, especially for a non-JRPG, so if that's what you got that's what you got. The publisher thing is odd- I've never seen anyone do that, and I think Sunggums was wrong to tell you that it was something you should change to, but internal consistency is the biggest point of references so there's no need to change it back to |work= |publisher=. WPVG as a whole is pretty split anyway on when to italicize a website or not.
Anyways, I'm good with passing this! Great job on this and the rest of your crazy The Last of Us project, and I'm looking forward to the eventual Good Topic! --PresN 03:41, 16 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I understand what you mean; I was initially a little hesitant about placing the websites in the |publisher= field, too.
Thanks again for the review, and for your kind words! My aim is to eventually reach a Good Topic, so this is one step closer. -- Rhain1999 (talk to me | current FLC) 03:46, 16 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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