Talk:Murder of Lenford Harvey/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 07:02, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Will review. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 07:02, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Lead

• Should be at most 2 paras long for an articles of this length

• Changed from three paragraphs to two. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:40, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

• No mention of the murder?

• I've reworded the lede so that it mentions the murder more fully. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:40, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Background

• Jamaica AIDS Support (JASL) Should be "(JAS)" as in the lead. Also see "Harvey led JASL's annual candle-lit vigil"

• It appears that there is a different in sources; some refer to Jamaica AIDS Support (JAS) and Jamaica AIDS Support for Life (JASL). Their official website uses the latter, so I will go ahead and standardise the use of the acronym to JASL. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:13, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Murder

• Three armed men broke into Harvey's home When was this?

• This is something that isn't quite clear. I'm presuming that it happened on the night of 29/30 November, but the sources in question do not make this clear. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:21, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

• This confusion needs to be mentioned. So that readers know we are not poor in the coverage. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:05, 23 June 2016 (UTC)

• Okay, I've looked into this in greater depth and one source refers to him being abducted two hours prior to the discovery of his body. This suggests that he was indeed abducted on 30 November, so I have included this in the article. I hope that that fixes the situation. Midnightblueowl (talk) 18:33, 23 June 2016 (UTC)

• they forced him into the car and abducted him Make this a new sentence.

• Done. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:21, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

• In the early hours of Wednesday 30 November 2005 "30 November 2005 (Wednesday)"

• I'm not sure that this is a style that would be used in Jamaican English. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:21, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

• Alright, ignore. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:05, 23 June 2016 (UTC)

References

• Not sure why there is a "Citations" subheading.

• Removed. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:23, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

• Stick to any one format: "Ghosh, Palash" or "Palash Ghosh"

• Good point, and done! Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:43, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

No copyvio/dablink/external link issues. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 08:57, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Thanks, promoted. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 11:05, 24 June 2016 (UTC)