Talk:Murder of Alistair Wilson
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Feedback from New Page Review process
[edit]I left the following feedback for the creator/future reviewers while reviewing this article: Nice work!.
North8000 (talk) 16:18, 19 May 2020 (UTC)
Use the Wilson married couple Christian names in this paragraph, to lessen confusion about who did what and when after the gunman came to the door and the wife spoke to him first.
[edit](Confusion about who who did what at the door with the gunman when a married couple's separate involvement with him is only ever referred to by using their joint surname instead of individually using their Christian names).
"He asked for Alistair Wilson by name and Wilson went to speak to him."
(e.g. that sounds either like the wife has gone to her husband about the man at the door - or that bit has been omitted and the husband was told by the wife already and has now gone to the front door).
"A few minutes later he returned to his wife carrying an empty blue envelope with the name Paul on the front."
(e.g. this now could sound like they were together in the house, the wife went to the door, he has heard the conversation, and wrote `Colin' but hasn't yet gone to the door but on the way there is now with his wife again).
Basically - just use the Christian names of the married Wilson couple and it will automatically clarify exactly what occurred after she went to the door first and they were walking to and past each other or whatever. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 77.99.210.174 (talk) 22:22, 27 November 2022 (UTC)