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Talk:Mousehold Heath/GA1

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Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 20:32, 16 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]


I'll be reviewing this in the next few days. ceranthor 20:32, 16 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • Should be consolidated into three (or possibly even two) sentences. reduced to three paragraphs - did you mean sentences or paragraph here?
  • "which was kept free of trees by grazing animals and human activity." - how do grazing animals keep it free of trees? done
  • " as almost all of it has since been built upon" - you'll have to be more specific than this... with what? residential living, other facilities, businesses? done
Geology
  • "Mousehold Heath is a 184 acres (74 ha) public area" - should be acre; if you're using the Convert template, this can be fixed by adding |adj=on done
  • "It was once an extensive area of heathland that stretched for several miles to the north and east of Norwich, but which has since been largely converted to woods and farmland.[1]" - you should remove the "which" before "has since been largely converted" done
  • "The extended area of Mousehold Heath (as it was before enclosure occurred at the beginning of the nineteenth century) is part of a glacio-fluvial outwash plain landform dissected by periglacial dry valley development. Its geology represents a complex stack of glacial deposits of the Anglian (stage) glaciation resting on bedrock of Cretaceous Chalk and Norwich Crag Formation.[citation needed]" - this whole bit needs citations done
  • "St. James' Pit, which has been designated as a Site of Special Scientific Interest.[2]" - by whom? done
  • "Around two million years ago sands" - about, not around done
  • "over 475,000 years ago" - more than, not over done
  • "425,000 years ago" - shouldn't use this to start the sentence right after "years ago" changed as suggested
  • no need to link ice link removed
  • "It later became altered when silts were blown over the topsoil, the ground became churned as a result of temperature variations, and when sludge layers moved downhill during warmer seasons.[3]" - don't use the serial comma inconsistently; you haven't used it previously; also add a "when" before "the ground"; get rid of "became" before "churned" done
History
  • "Extensive areas of heathland developed across Norfolk towards the end of the prehistoric period. The heathland largely reverted to woodland again after the end of the Roman occupation, reappearing as heath as the population increased. By the end of the Middle Ages, Norfolk possessed a larger area of heathland than anywhere else in medieval England, despite much being converted to arable land." - no citation here added
  • "This was the first example in Europe of what became known as blood libel." - such a statement should be supported directly by a source reference added (book has no page numbers online so I have quoted from the explanation of the book provided by the company that is selling it)
  • "and was 35 km (22 mi) round" - is this the diameter? then it should be "around," not "round" done
  • "with virtually no trees - a classic heathland landscape" - think you need an ENDASH or EMDASH rather than a hyphen here done
  • "Kett's Rebellion began on 12 July 1549, during a period that became known as the 'commotion time'." - this needs a direct citation done
  • "The Norwich born novelist" - should be "Norwich-born"
  • "The airfield continued to be used until 1950. Much of the old aerodrome was then built over when the Heartsease housing estate was created, but some of the airfield buildings survived and are now within the Roundtree Way industrial estate." - no citation done
Today
  • The title of the section needs to be more descriptive changed title
  • "Heathland plants to be found on Mousehold Heath include Sheep’s Sorrel[45], bracken, Wavy Hair-grass[46], Mossy Stonecrop, Trailing St John’s-wort, Common Cudweed and Viper’s Bugloss[47]." - should place citations after punctuation done

More on references and comprehensiveness coming. ceranthor 21:43, 25 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

References
  • The Earwig Copyvio Detector tool reveals some troubling similarities between the article text and this source.
    • The article's text almost exactly matches this sentence: "In Tudor times, Mousehold Heath stretched as far north as South Walsham and was 22 miles round" text removed
    • Likewise, the article text is almost identical to the source here: "This was officially recorded by Parliament in an agreement called the Mousehold Heath Confirmation Act. In 1884, Mousehold Heath Conservators, an independent governing body for the heath, was formed." text re-edited and referenced
    • This is also worryingly similar: "The area was kept open by grazing animals and by local people collecting bedding and feed for livestock and fuel for the winter." Text rewritten and resourced
  • Fortunately, this seems to be the only case where this is true, so if these are remedied I don't think that should prevent the article from being promoted on that grounds.
  • These two references should be switched so as to be in alphabetical order: Rawcliffe, Carole; Wilson, Richard, eds. (2004). Norwich since 1550. London and New York: Hambleton and London. ISBN 1 85285 450 2 and Rawcliffe, Carole; Wilson, Richard, eds. (2004). Medieval Norwich. London and New York: Hambleton and London. ISBN 1 85285 449 9. done

*Why are there no page numbers for refs 2, 5 (not paged as the document is small), 30, 32, and 50? done *For multiple page numbers, pp. should be used instead of p. - needs to be fixed for refs 18 and 26

  • Whenever a p. or pp. is used, there should be a space before the numbers start, ie. p. 126 done
  • Any numerical ranges (such as for multiple page numbers) need an WP:ENDASH, not a hyphen done
  • Punctuation needs to be consistent throughout the reference section. Some end with periods; others don't. done
  • I'm not sure what's happening with reference 42, format-wise. sorted

The references need quite a bit of work. I haven't even evaluated them for reliability yet, but they need to be properly formatted first. done ceranthor 16:41, 30 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Reliability
  • I can't open the Heritage Explorer sites, but I'll accept them on good faith.
  • What makes [1] a reliable source?
    • The website is hosted by the University of York (my university in fact). Do I have to add more to the article to show the source is a reliable one? Hel-hama 16:10, 1 July 2018 (UTC)
  • What makes [2] a reliable source?
    • Borrow's book describes Norwich and the heath, so I have included a link to the part of the book that refers to Mousehold. I have hidden the other reference, as no sources are quoted in it. Hel-hama 17:02, 1 July 2018 (UTC)
  • What makes [3] a reliable source?
    • I have deferred to your point and removed part of the paragraph, and used another reference for the remaining part. Hel-hama 17:24, 1 July 2018 (UTC)
  • What makes [4] a reliable source?
    • source replaced Hel-hama 18:00, 1 July 2018 (UTC)
  • Same with [5] and [6]?
    • I have added the book reference for Plunkett's photographic work. His images are considered an important and reliable source of information about Norwich's past. Hel-hama 18:23, 1 July 2018 (UTC)
  • Same with [7]?
    • Historic England is a UK government website, I have added the link to the Wikipedia article in the reference. done

Otherwise, improvement looks good so far. Once these are resolved, I'm happy to pass this. ceranthor 14:54, 1 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I made a few final changes, but I think this is ready now. Passing. ceranthor 01:40, 2 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
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