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GA Review 2

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Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 18:24, 27 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]


This has been sitting at GAN for a bit. I contributed a bit to copyediting, but not to the article as a whole, so I'm going to be bold and take this on for review. ceranthor 18:24, 27 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Hoping to post a review here ASAP. ceranthor 23:30, 5 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Lead
  • "All major summits have elevations greater than 2,000 m (6,600 ft), Mount Cayley being the highest at 2,385 m (7,825 ft) in elevation. " - might not need to repeat elevation twice in this sentence. I think it's implied at the end (can cut "in elevation" at end)
Agreed. Volcanoguy 17:45, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The surrounding area has been inhabited by indigenous peoples for more than 7,000 years while geothermal exploration has taken place there for the last four decades." - I get the idea, but this sentence is set up like a comparison, and it's really apple and oranges. Maybe split into two sentences at the "while geothermal" point?
How about "The surrounding area has been inhabited by indigenous peoples for more than 7,000 years, with geothermal exploration having taken place there in the last four decades"? Volcanoguy 00:35, 9 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Part of the Garibaldi Volcanic Belt, it was formed by subduction zone volcanism " - the massif is "it"? or just Cayley? be more specific
That is clearly referring to the massif. Volcanoguy 19:41, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • " 4,000,000 years ago" - easier for reader as 4 million? I know we've discussed this before, so not necessary, just my recommendation
The only problem is then you are not being consistent with rest of the text; e.g. 200,000 vs. 4 million. Volcanoguy 04:04, 11 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "with lesser activity continuing into the present day." - lesser how? I think less frequent, which I would use instead of "lesser"
Seismic and hot spring activity are inferior to eruptive activity. Volcanoguy 19:37, 9 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Future eruptions are likely to threaten neighbouring communities" - comes abruptly. maybe a brief transition about "if the volcano resumed activity" or something along those lines
What if I split the second paragraph from "Future eruptions are likely to threaten neighbouring communities" to create a third one? Volcanoguy 20:18, 9 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Geography and geology
  • "It consists dominantly of volcanoes " - do you mean "predominantly"?
Fixed. Volcanoguy 17:48, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "that formed subglacially" - a link for subglacial volcanoes might be helpful for the lay reader
Done. Volcanoguy 17:55, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The Late Pleistocene is an age, not an epoch. Volcanoguy 23:11, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • link Holocene at first mention
Done. Volcanoguy 23:11, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • link Garibaldi Volcanic Belt at first mention
Done. Volcanoguy 21:14, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Wizard Peak with an elevation of 2,240 m (7,350 ft) is east of Pyroclastic Peak and is the lowest of the three main summits.[5]" - bit clunky; rephrase maybe?
  • " draping relief of 2,070 m (6,790 ft)," - explain what draping relief is; in the past I've just used Hildreth's in-text explanation (see Three Fingered Jack)
Done. Volcanoguy 00:01, 9 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Few times it looks like you have references out of numerical order, ie. [2][1] or [5][4]. Minor issue but something that should be fixed
Fixed. Volcanoguy 00:16, 9 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Volcanic history
  • "4,000,000 years," - same note as lead; optional
See above. Volcanoguy 04:04, 11 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • " 4,000,000 and 600,000 years ago" - see above
See above. Volcanoguy 04:04, 11 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "during which time prolonged erosion destroyed much of the original volcanic structure" - cut out "time" and this should be fine
Done. Volcanoguy 19:30, 10 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "This was followed by the third and final Shovelnose stage " - awkward introduction for the third stage's name; suggest rephrasing to be a little easier for the reader to understand
Awkward? Volcanoguy 19:30, 10 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "about 300,000 to 200,000 years ago" - given the 100,000 year gap, maybe it would be better to drop "about" and say "between 3000,000 and 200,000..."
  • Same note about refs out of order, ie. [5][4]
Fixed. Volcanoguy 19:25, 10 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • " produced volcanic rocks of felsic and intermediate composition" - might wanna briefly elaborate what the difference between felsic and intermediate is
  • "4,000,000 years ago" - same note as above; just noting the instances
See above. Volcanoguy 04:04, 11 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "separation of the offshore Explorer and Juan de Fuca plates along the Nootka Fault, " - an indication of the general location of these faults beyond just "offshore" might be useful? just a thought, not totally necessary
Done. Volcanoguy 04:19, 11 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Subsequent activity deposited a series of massive dacite flows up to 150 m (490 ft) thick and form the summit and northern slope of Wizard Peak." - grammatically this sentence doesn't agree
How so? Volcanoguy 19:23, 10 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Temperatures ranging from 18 to 40 °C (64 to 104 °F) have been measured from the hot springs.[5]" - comes kind of abruptly, could be integrated better into the paragraph
How so? Volcanoguy 19:23, 10 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Landslide history
  • " A 0.5 to 40 cm (0.20 to 15.75 in) thick sequence of silts, sands and pebbles interbedded in the debris fan suggests that it may be the product of two major, closely spaced, debris avalanches" - what does "it" refer to here? unclear
The debris fan. Volcanoguy 20:00, 9 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Another large debris avalanche about 1,100 years ago deposited material immediately upstream of the month of Turbid Creek." - suspect this is a typo; "mouth"?
Fixed. Volcanoguy 20:03, 9 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "diamicton units along Turbid Creek" - definitely link diamicton for lay readers, and perhaps mention what it is briefly
Linked. Volcanoguy 19:59, 9 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Human history
  • worth noting that First Nations are an indigenous group
For what? It clearly states in the First Nations article that they are a "designated group". Volcanoguy 21:24, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The Mount Cayley massif, along with The Black Tusk, are considered sacred" - awkward phrasing... maybe replace "along with" with "and The Black Tusk"
Done. Volcanoguy 22:52, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "51 and 65 megakelvin per metre; 45 to 95 megakelvin per metre." - are there any conversions for these? I genuinely don't know
Not that I know of. Volcanoguy 23:04, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "100 megawatt geothermal power station" - same as directly above
See above. Volcanoguy 20:41, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "An eruption scenario for the volcano was organized by GSC scientists in 2000 to show how Western Canada is vulnerable to such an event. They based the scenario on past activity in the Garibaldi Volcanic Belt and involved both explosive and effusive activity. The scenario was published in 2003 as an article for Natural Hazards, a Springer journal devoting on all aspects of natural hazards including risk management and the forecasting of catastrophic events.[17]" - is this meant to be in the section underneath?
Not really. Volcanoguy 20:41, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Ceranthor: I know it doesn't matter much now but I have decided to move this to the volcanic hazards section and the bright spot bit to the geography and geology section. Volcanoguy 22:46, 29 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Volcanic hazards
  • "In the event of a major explosive eruption, an ash plume could reach 20 km (12 mi) in height and may be maintained for 12 hours" - "may be maintained" is awkward; rephrase
Well that is what the source uses so I don't know of a better way to word it. Volcanoguy 19:49, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the eruption plume would then spread to envelope most of the west coast from Seattle to Anchorage" - typo? do you mean "envelop"?
Fixed. Volcanoguy 21:04, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "enclosed airports to be closed and all relevant flights to be diverted or cancelled." - not sure about "enclosed" or "relevant flights" as the correct wording here
See above. Volcanoguy 19:49, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
References
  • "Reimer/Yumks, Rudy. "Squamish Nation Cognitive Landscapes". McMaster University: 8, 9." - seems like this is missing info
Added missing year. Volcanoguy 19:39, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Kimball, Sarah (2010). Favourability Map of British Columbia Geothermal Resources (MAS). University of British Columbia. pp. 21, 22, 24, 131." - is there a link?
No there isn't. Volcanoguy 19:39, 8 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Earwig's tool checks out.
Images
  • all properly sourced and appear to be available for use.

As expected, excellent work. Just some nitpicky comments for the most part. This is in very good shape. ceranthor 16:53, 6 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Note to @Volcanoguy: Give me a ping when you finish addressing my comments/replying to them. ceranthor 17:02, 10 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Volcanoguy: Are you finished with my comments? ceranthor 12:24, 14 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Ceranthor: Finished. Volcanoguy 20:41, 20 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Great. Passing! ceranthor 00:53, 21 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
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