Talk:Mount Carmel East/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Nova Crystallis (talk · contribs) 03:03, 10 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, fellow Columbusite! I will start the review as soon as the peer review is finished. Nova Crystallis (Talk) 03:03, 10 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Nova Crystallis: It was my understanding that the peer review by Ceranthor was finished. Did you want me to respond to his final suggestions on the talk page? I certainly am willing but didn't want to implement any major changes to the article since I had nominated it for GA Review and wanted to leave it be unchanged as per my understanding of the GA process. This is my first nomination so I apologize if I should have done something out of order. Thank you for taking the time to review this, I genuinely want to be better at improving articles about central Ohio. -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 03:32, 10 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Sixflashphoto: If you're done with the peer review, you should close it. No worries, I had some trouble with my first GA. Nova Crystallis (Talk) 03:52, 10 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Done Thank you! -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 03:57, 10 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, I'll get to it tomorrow morning, it's getting a bit late. Nova Crystallis (Talk) 03:58, 10 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Starting...

Whatever Ceranthor suggested in the peer review should be fixed here if not already.
The lead should not have citations that repeat later in the article.
COTA should be written out fully, with the acronym in parentheses next to it.
There should be a comma after the phrase "In year x".
"the largest in the east side of Columbus allows it to take national prominence in breakthrough surgical treatments." Use "allowed" for past tense.
"The hospital was completed in 1972 opening as a 233-bed facility." Comma needed between 1972 and opening.
"story" is much more commonly used than "storey".
"rankling Mount Carmel" Spelling error.
"This followed in July of 2003 an $18 million expansion of the hospital’s emergency room." Switch the date format for July of 2003.
"In 2015 a plan was announced to begin construction on a new 5-storey patient tower, reducing the number of beds from the current 419 to 381 all-private patient rooms as well as a thorough reconstruction of the original structure to better accommodate the needs of the population on the east side of Columbus as it has become the largest hospital on the east side of Columbus." Split this sentence.
"and in 2010 was awarded the Thomson Reuters 50 Top Cardiovascular Hospitals award for heart care." Reword this to "and it was awarded the Thomson Reuters Top 50 Cardiovascular Hospitals award for heart care in 2010."
"specialties and onsite including" Colon needed at the end.
"in 4 areas" Write out the four.
Link all specialties listed.
"including Subway, Cold Stone Creamery and Tim Hortons open 7 days a week." Change from "opening 7 days a week" to ", opening seven days a week".
"The Mount Carmel East Cafeteria is also open 7 days a week." Merge with previous sentence.
The expansion section seems repetitive, maybe merge it with the history section?
Patient safety should be merged to the Services section.
All references should be expanded to include access dates. I suggest using the citation expander.

Should be it for now. Nova Chrysalia (Talk) 12:35, 10 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Nova Crystallis: Thank you for reviewing this and giving such helpful recommendations. I believe I have completed all but one of them. Please tell me if something was done incorrectly. All citations that are repeated later in the article are removed. I believe all citations now have access dates. I believe I have addressed the rest of those very helpful critiques as well.

As to the integration of the Expansion section with the History section. I could see trying to trim out repetitive information but I hesitate to remove the section entirely. While nearly completed at this point, and to that end I could see updating the section, the construction project was so massive it nearly rebuilt major sections of the entire hospital.

If you feel it truly is superfluous and should be merged I would but it is my opinion that it should say although I can certainly concede to it needing to be trimmed down if information is simply repeated. All the best -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 21:40, 10 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

It's fine, just missing the fourth point now. Nova Crystallis (Talk) 03:06, 11 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'm sorry but are you referring too the 4th point of GA review criteria? -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 03:15, 11 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Fourth point of my review. Nova Crystallis (Talk) 03:38, 11 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Ah! Done. I went through it again and corrected all of the lack of commas after "In year x". -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 03:52, 11 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]