Talk:Moe Drabowsky/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 12:06, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Wikilink bullpen
"in the National League in strikeouts his rookie season." - in his rookie season.
"he was sent to the minors a few times," - minor leagues
"the year he had his lowest ERA as a starter." - spell out ERA on its mention, wikilink and put the acroynms in parentheses
" Drabowsky was used almost exclusively as a relief pitcher-after three starts in 1966," - the hyphen in this sentence is not needed
The acronyms of the American League should be mentioned after its first mention in parentheses
"of 2.80, 1.60, and 1.91 his first three years with the club." - during his first three years or in his first three years

"Drabowsky made his major league debut 'August 7, 1956," - on August 7, 1956,
"In a game against the Pittsburgh Pirates that day," - held that day,
"He gave up 19 home runs, three shy of the previous year's total," - how about using the word relinquished for variety
"his season got off to a terrible start." - try to use more formal and neutral wording in place of this portion of text

"the Cubs decided they did not need Drabowsky anymore" - no longer required Drabowsky
"he got called up to the big league club" - major league
"Back in the majors," - major leagues
Wikilink bullpen
"He started pitching out of the bullpen some in June" - sometime?
"he would lose seven decisions in a row before getting another win June 8" - win on June 8

"and he sported a 3.94 ERA." - the following word I am putting forward is grammatically correct; had a
"Drabowsky's ERA fell to 2.59 for his final 35 games." - over his
"after starter Dave McNally was pulled." - I think you mean withdrawn from the field
"Drabowsky got off to another fine start in 1968," - try to reword this sentence so that it is more neutral

"Drabowsky negotiated with his new club for a raise before signing his contract February 28." - contract on February 28, 1969.
"June 15, he saw on" - On June 15,
"His ERA was even better for the Cardinals the next season;" - better; His ERA improved with the Cardinals during the next season,
"but following his release October 6," - on October 6,

The entire paragraph would be better off divided into two or three paragraphs to make it more comfortable to read
"he once ordered takeout from a Chinese restaurant" - ordered a takeout
"such famous players as Brooks Robinson, Paul Blair, and Yogi Berra.[8][43][5]" - refs in numerical order please
"Next season, sportswriter Hal Bock was twice the victim of a Drabowsky hot foot during a series in New York" - During the following season,
"Drabowsky wondered if he'd gone too far" - he had done something unacceptable

"In 1957 Drabowsky met his first wife, Elisabeth Johns," & "A baseball fan, Elizabeth" - it is Elizabeth or Elisabeth?
Briefly state who Gil Hodges was
- I just put Dodgers' star (as opposed to Los Angeles Dodgers') because around this time, it's debatable whether she was a fan of Hodges with Brooklyn or Los Angeles (or both, which would take a while to write out). Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 00:36, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Daughter Laura, an actress," - Drabowsky's daughter Laura, an actress,
"and Drabowsky got remarried to Rita in the 1990s." - you can state it was in 1990 that he married Rita since it is stated by SABR
Wikilink The Sporting News

References 2, 3, 28, 37, 38, 39, 43, 52 are missing the page numbers that the respective stories can be found on
- So number 52, if you click on it, there are no page numbers for whatever reason. It's written in journal form, so there are dates, which is why I put the date of the respective entry. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 00:44, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Reference 4 is missing the relevant page number
Reference 8 is missing the Associated Press as the agency who provided the story of Drabowsky's death to ESPN
Reference 46 should have The New York Times in the work field and not in the title field and the same for the date in it

Shall be putting the review on hold to allow the nominator to action/respond to all of the queries raised above. MWright96 (talk) 19:05, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]