Talk:Mitch Henderson/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Muboshgu (talk · contribs) 15:37, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

He was drafted by the Yankees. Did he sign? Some two-sport players dabble in both professionally. It doesn't look like he did, since he went to college after being drafted, but I have more understanding of how that works than the average reader.
- O.K.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:19, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"...captain of the undefeated (in conference) Ivy League champion..." I understand this to mean that the Tigers were undefeated in conference play, but not undefeated on the regular season. I think some prose tightening could make that a bit more clear to the lay reader.
- done.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 13:01, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"The 1995–96 team was memorable for its upset..." memorable seems to be in line with WP:WTW
- done.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 13:02, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Some sentences would be better broken in two, like "The 1996–97 team finished the regular season on a school record 19-game winning streak,[6][7] and in the 1997 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament, against the fifth-seeded California Golden Bears, the team lost 55–52."
- O.K. Feel free to note others.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:00, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"Failed to appear" makes it sound like it was all on him. Should be reworded to ensure neutrality.
- Not sure what you are looking for, but I changed it to "made no appearances".--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:03, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"Coaching career" section is a little unclear, as we jump straight from his playing career in 1999 to his being head coach of Princeton in 2010. A more linear approach would help.
- arranged chronologically.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:06, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"Northwestern is not known for having the most athletic players in the Big Ten Conference, causing Carmody to use Henderson, who commonly scrimmaged with the players, as part of a joke for a Sports Illustrated: "I don't mind that Mitch is cagier and smarter than all those guys on the court. The thing that bothers me is that he's faster than all of them." - awkward prose
- I tried to fix this. I assume you are not complaining about the part in quotes.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:10, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I'm guessing there are no free images available? A cursory scan of Flickr didn't come up with anything.
- Correct.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:07, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll put this on hold. – Muboshgu (talk) 18:16, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

That addressed all the comments I had. This passes muster. – Muboshgu (talk) 14:51, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Why doesn't this have date and place of birth? It only says he went to high school in South Bend. PumpkinSky talk 16:35, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

You're right, that's an oversight on Tony's part and mine as well. I'll put this back on hold until that's added, and will recheck the article. – Muboshgu (talk) 17:18, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I don't know if putting it back on hold is warranted, maybe, but it'd be nice if that info were added. PumpkinSky talk 22:04, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'm fairly new to reviewing, so I'm not sure the protocol. I see that the external link has his DOB, so I'll add it. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:28, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]