Talk:Mimicry/GA1
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Reviewer: Dunkleosteus77 (talk · contribs) 19:37, 26 August 2015 (UTC)
- Many thanks for taking this on. Chiswick Chap (talk) 20:20, 26 August 2015 (UTC)
Comments by Dunkleosteus77
[edit]- Lead
- seems like a dictionary definition, especially the third paragraph
- Copy-edited to remove reference to definition.
- give an example of a mammalian mimic
- Well, possibly the Aardwolf, mimicking the Hyaena, but it's a doubtful case. Removed the word mammal.
- Classification section
- Please describe, in the captions of images, what the creature is imitating and what it is, e.g., state that Macroxiphius is a grasshopper imitating an ant
- "The first three such cases discussed here entail mimicry of organisms protected by warning coloration:" fragment, consider revising (needs a verb after "coloration")
- This introduces the list that immediately follows.
- "The fourth case, Vavilovian mimicry, where weeds resemble crops, is important for several reasons; and humans are the agent of selection" improper usage of semicolon, and add to the list of "Defensive mimicry"
- Reworded; it doesn't belong in the list.
- "Mimics are less likely to be found out when in low proportion to their model" replace "out" with "by predators" or something along those lines
- Reworded.
- "There are many Batesian mimics in the Lepidoptera" is "Lepidoptera" a family, class, order, or genus? Please state which one by saying "Lepidoptera family" or "Lepidoptera genus"...
- It's an order.
- "In the Amazon, the helmeted woodpecker (Dryocopus galeatus), a rare species which lives in the Atlantic Forest of Brazil, Paraguay, and Argentina has a similar red crest..." the bolded words are a thought within a statement; different thoughts within the same sentence must be separated by commas. Add a comma in front of "Argentina", and do be careful of these.
- Fixed.
- Italicize species names, genus names, binomial names, and variations upon that. names like "Dryocopus galeatus" must always be italicized.
- Fixed.
- "The monarch butterfly is a member of a Müllerian complex with the viceroy butterfly in shared coloration patterns and display behavior" reword the bolded
- Done.
- The word "e.g." should never start a sentence. Treat it as a semicolon, which is used as a replacement to the period; basically it links two related thoughts without the need for breaking them into two sentences.
- Fixed.
- " where deadly prey mimic a" --> " where deadly prey mimics a" use present progressive
- Prey is plural here.
- "This scenario is a little more difficult to understand, as in other types of mimicry it is usually the most harmful species that is the model" the bolded words are a thought within a statement; different thoughts within the same sentence must be separated by commas. Add a comma in front of "mimicry", and do be careful of these.
- Reworded.
- "there were some other species that is harmful" change is to are because the sentence is talking about more than one species
- Done.
- You don't need spaces between backslashes, e.g., change "Emsleyan / Mertensian" to "Emsleyan/Mertensian"
- Done.
- "secondary crops" doesn't need to be italicized
- Fixed.
- "The potential host/prey drives away its parasite/predator by mimicking it..." consider rewording
- Done.
- "Browerian mimicry" does not have to be italicized
- Fixed.
- "In this class of mimicry the model may be..." the subject and predicate of a sentence must be separated by a comma; place a comma in front of "mimicry"
- Done.
- "Another form of mimicry is based not on color but pattern" a comma should always go before the word "but" (unless it starts a sentence)
- Not required here.
- "Species such as Argiope argentata..." use common name, and then put binomial name in parenthesis next to it; in this case, it should read "Species such as the silver argiope (Argiope argentata)..."
- Done.
- "This wrasse, shown to the right cleaning a grouper..." this sentence is referring to a picture to the right that isn't there. Please avoid referring to images in any case and put the info in the caption of the image if need be, or, just don't refer to the image.
- Done.
- "and then must find of a suitable bird to mature in" take out "of"
- Well spotted. Done.
- " As the host birds do not eat snails, so the sporocyst has another strategy..." take out "As"
- Reworded.
- "...; but this is..." never have the word "but" follow a semicolon
- Fixed.
- "This is common in plants with deceptive flowers that do not provide the reward they seem to." I don't believe this sentence is finished
- Fixed.
- "Bakerian mimicry, named after Herbert G. Baker..." this sentence has a link leading to an article on "Herbert G. Baker" which does not exist; refrain from linking names of persons to articles that don't exist; linking to animals, extinct or otherwise, is another story...
- Fixed.
- "Epidendrum ibaguense of the family Orchidaceae resembles flowers of..." the bolded words are a thought within a statement; different thoughts within the same sentence must be separated by commas. Add a comma in front of "Orchidaceae" and before "of", and do be careful of these.
- Fixed.
- "Inter-sexual mimicry" does not have to be italicized
- Fixed.
- "Dodsonian mimicry" should not be italicized
- Fixed.
- "Automimicry" and "intraspecific mimicry" do no need to be bolded
- They redirect here.
- "vice versa" does not have to be italicized
- Fixed.
- "Quite elaborate strategies along these lines are known, such as in the notorious "scissors, paper, rock" example in the species Uta stansburiana" consider revising
- Reworded.
- The "Others" section contains a fungus that infects plants which then, in turn, cause them to excrete sugar. This resembles more of a parasitism rather than mimicry the way it's described. Consider revising section or scrapping it altogether.
- It's described as "floral mimicry" in the cited source.
- Evolution section
- "although natural selection might stabilize a "mimic" form, it would not be necessary to create it" remove "to"
- "necessary to create" requires the word "to".
- References
- I have no complaints. I'm surprised that you found so many journals as such do contain a lot of (verifiable) information.
- Thanks.
All-in-all, you had had very minor grammatical errors. I hope these comment were helpful, and I wish you best of luck.
- OK, that seems to be all of them! Chiswick Chap (talk) 21:02, 26 August 2015 (UTC)
Final comments
[edit]- You missed some binomial names that needed italicization, but I took care of that
- Thanks.
- Images (sorry I forgot to check these over earlier)
- Why is there an image of Pachygrapsus marmoratus?
- Removed.
- Try moving the image of the grouper with cleaner wrasse next to the paragraph where they're discussed. Move the cicada audio closer to the caterpillar image so that the grouper image can fit.
- Rearranged; whatever we do, images will move on smaller screens or windows.
- What kind of animal is Deilephila elpenor? Please state this since there's no article describing it.
- Done.
- The sentence "Mimicry in a parasite: Cuckoo adult mimics sparrowhawk, alarming small birds and giving female cuckoo time to lay eggs in their nests" is poorly worded, consider revising it.
- Done.
- There seems to be a problem with the spacing between the two audios; the "Play" button is shifted too far up and covers the name of the name of the species. This could, however, just be with my computer. If you see it as fine, it's time for me to get a new computer, or better wi-fi...
- It works fine for me, but these things depend on browsers, and display issues with audio inclusions probably aren't too far up software people's bug-fix lists.
- Perhaps enlarge the image of the stinging wasp mimics, add the names of the mimics (or at least what animal they are, e.g., a fly) though it may get too crowded for a caption, or place an image of the model below or next to it.
- Done.
When you've done this, the article can pass.
- Many thanks for the careful review. Chiswick Chap (talk) 18:41, 27 August 2015 (UTC)
- If I might ask a favor, could you review the "Whale" article (which is a GA nominee)?
- Many thanks for the careful review. Chiswick Chap (talk) 18:41, 27 August 2015 (UTC)