Talk:Millennium season 1/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jezhotwells (talk) 17:59, 14 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I shall be reviewing this page against the Good Article criteria, following its nomination for Good Article status.

Checking against GA criteria

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):
Development: "monsters [...] surrounds us" Is that really what he said. It is completely ungrammatical and makes no sense.

Casting and characters: '~~'While after hearing it was film, he approach the script for negatively. What does this mean, it is completely non-grammatical. Not doneThe replacement prose is equally non-grammatical~~

Megan Gallagher came as a result of Ken Horton who at that time was the studio executive. Horton had previously spotted Gallagher on various of television shows, but most notably The Larry Sanders Show. The pilot script was sent "very secretly" to Gallagher, because nobody wanted any leaks. The next day she met up with Carter and David Nutter at Fox. Please rewrite as currently unclear and un-grammatical. Better but now you have two adjacent instances of Horton

Critical reception: Lance Henriksen was nominated for a Golden Globe Award in the category "Best Performance by an Actor in a TV-Series - Drama" in 1997 for his role as Frank Black, that same year Brittany Tiplady was nominated in the category "Best Performance in a TV Comedy/Drama - Supporting Young Actress Age Ten or Under" at the Young Artist Awards. This is a clumsy compound sentence, please rewrite for clarity. Somewhat better, but you have Britanny nominated and not winning, did Henriksen win?

The Thin White Line: THey both try to find out who copied the earlier crimes molded the current killer on the loose in Seattle. Please rewrite. Done

Supernatural forces figure into the grisly fate of a murderous doctor and terrifying events in Frank Black's home. : Supernatural forces figure into the grisly fate of a murderous doctor and terrifying events in Frank Black's home. figure into? Done

'Lead': The first season of Millennium commenced airing in the United States on October 25, 1996, concluded on May 16, 1997, and consists of twenty-two episodes. Millennium is an American serial crime-thriller television series. Suggest you reverse the order of these two sentences. Not done Now we have first season bolded but not Millenium, please read WP:LEAD

Being the first season, we meet A former Frank Black (Lance Henriksen), a retired FBI agent who has moved to Seattle, Washington with his family and begins working with a mysterious organization known as the Millennium Group.. Please rewrite for clarity and grammar. Not done Now we have two sentences starting with the same phrase.

Season one was received well by critics and fans alike. Further down the page it is stated that The first season was mostly positively received by critics and fans alike. . I did clarify the grammar of the latter., but which is it? - mostly well received or just well received? Done OK, but were there no negative reviews?

I made a number of copy-edits where the intent was clear. Please check [1]. Please also check the text line by line and work to improve grammar and style, avoiding repetition and improving grammar.

OK, I copy-edited what had been missed, found a citation for the ratings fall and generally tidied up.

b (MoS):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references):
References check out where they are available to me.
b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
It is broad in its scope.
a (major aspects):
b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
Non-free use rational OK
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
On hold for seven days for above concerns to be addressed. Jezhotwells (talk) 18:33, 14 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I emphasize - please go through this line by line, word by word and write in a clear style, correcting spelling mistakes and tense inconsistencies, some of which have been introduced in your recent edits. It is no good rushing through this just to put another tick on your page. Try to put yourself in the mind of a reader who doesn't know all the stuff that you do. If you really can't write any beter than this then, I suggest that you give up on good articles. We need good clearly written prose. If you can't do this then please enlist the help of the WP:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors. The aim is to make it clear, correct, concise, comprehensible, and consistent. I will take a look in seven days and decide what to do then. Jezhotwells (talk) 22:53, 14 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

As the nominator appears to have given up on this, I have copy-edited throughout and generally cleaned up the article. I shall now ask for a second opinion as I would like someone else to check what I have done. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:22, 27 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The copyedits by you look fine, so if that was the only issue I think you're okay passing it. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 16:50, 4 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for that Wizardman. Passing as GA. Jezhotwells (talk) 18:10, 4 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]