Talk:Michael Allen (Canadian football)

External links modified

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I have just modified 2 external links on Michael Allen (Canadian football). Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.canada.com/story.html?id=f4c09f3d-7fca-4860-ac63-b927a7fa5c52
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.cfl.ca/canadian_draft/list?year=1988&team=

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Quality of writing

Mifter, could you clarify why you feel each of the changes made in this diff were necessary other than the "terrorized" bit? The effect of the edit is to remove the aspects of the prose which summarized his career, leaving what's more-or-less a stats table in prose. Reliable sources are cited which support such assessments as "a playoff run" (common terminology in sports coverage) and "a relatively quiet season" (important to summarizing the course of his career). Additionally, the last sentence change is awkward the way you altered it, with two clauses of very similar grammatical (one missing a comma). ~ Rob₁₃^Talk 01:30, 14 February 2017 (UTC)

Hi Rob, I saw the above message but have to run for the moment, I should be able to reply in more detail later today (Feb 14). That being said, feel free to tweak or reword what I've changed, the primary goal was to try and ensure neutrality and an encyclopedic tone. Sports articles are not my area of expertise however so if I erred too far on the dry side then I trust you to handle as you see fit (copyedits are also always welcome). Best, Mifter (talk) 05:15, 14 February 2017 (UTC)

In general as I mentioned above my goal was to try and make the article have what I perceived as a more neutral tone. I agree with the concern about the article becoming too dry and just a table of statistics. The changes were all made for that reason, there really isn't anything that caught my attention with each change (outside the first) aside from their language being a bit more flowery that I would expect from an encyclopedia article. If you have any more specific questions I would be happy to answer them. Mifter (talk) 23:04, 14 February 2017 (UTC)

No worries. I've since changed some of the language back to what it was and altered a few to "third options". Note that, for sports articles, commentary on a player's performance is often directly supported by reliable sources and very relevant to an encyclopedic covering of the player's career. ~ Rob₁₃^Talk 00:11, 15 February 2017 (UTC)

External links modified

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I have just modified one external link on Michael Allen (Canadian football). Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

• Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20150513204431/http://www.cflapedia.com/records.htm to http://www.cflapedia.com/records.htm

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Michael Allen (Canadian football)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Bcschneider53 (talk · contribs) 18:45, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

I'll take another one of these. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 18:45, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• No dab or external link issues.

Lead

• No issues.

Early career

• No issues.

Professional career

Winnipeg Blue Bombers

• "Michael Allen was selected" remove Michael per WP:SURNAME
  •  Done ~ Rob₁₃^Talk 03:34, 13 June 2017 (UTC)
• "Shortly afterward, he missed games due to a sprained ankle." How many?
  • I think two based on the source, but it doesn't explicitly say. Anything I tried to offer would be an approximation/guesswork, and so I feel it's best to keep it somewhat vague to avoid WP:SYNTH. Changed it to "multiple games" to try to make it clear I'm not offering any number. ~ Rob₁₃^Talk 03:34, 13 June 2017 (UTC)
• Haven't looked too deeply into CFLapedia, but is it a reliable source? Even if it's not, the claim has a second ref to back it up so it shouldn't be too big an issue.
  • Eh, questionable reliability, especially these days. At one time, it was maintained by a single person who was using statistics directly from the CFL and was widely considered to be an authority on the league. It was never an official site for stats, but it was about as close as you can get, from my understanding. These days, it's being revived by someone else who is less proven, and it's not as clear whether the information comes directly from the league. I've replaced it with the Guinness Book of World Records, which I hadn't been able to find online in my original searching. ~ Rob₁₃^Talk 03:34, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

Ottawa Rough Riders

• "Shortly after" should this be "Shortly thereafter"?
  •  Done Either is grammatically correct I believe, and I have no preference. ~ Rob₁₃^Talk 03:34, 13 June 2017 (UTC)
• "He played in all regular season games" either put the number of games between "all" and "regular" or say "He played in every regular season game"
  •  Done Went with the latter. ~ Rob₁₃^Talk 03:34, 13 June 2017 (UTC)
• "with The Ottawa Citizen describing him as" same thing as in the last review I did. If there is an author (Warren?), see if you can work him into the sentence.
  •  Done ~ Rob₁₃^Talk 03:34, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

BC Lions

• "Allen had a physical altercation with Ken Walcott" remove Ken.
  •  Done ~ Rob₁₃^Talk 03:34, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

Retirement and career

• "well-known" In the lead, "well known" is used without the hyphen. I'd prefer using the hyphen in both, but either way, there should be consistency.
  •  Done ~ Rob₁₃^Talk 03:34, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

Mostly just a few prose issues again. Placing on hold. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 20:22, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• @Bcschneider53: This should be good for another look. And apologies for the repeat issues; one of the disadvantages of GA reviews a while after nomination is that it takes a while for feedback to filter into newly-written articles. ~ Rob₁₃^Talk 03:35, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

• @BU Rob13: Well done. Pass for GA :) --Bcschneider53 (talk) 04:28, 13 June 2017 (UTC)