Talk:Mercury Hayes

Mercury Hayes has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.

Article milestones
Date	Process	Result
November 17, 2007	Good article nominee	Not listed
January 13, 2008	Good article nominee	Listed

A fact from this article appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the "Did you know?" column on October 27, 2007.

The text of the entry was: Did you know ...that wide receiver Mercury Hayes caught the game-winning touchdown in Lloyd Carr's Michigan coaching debut?

Current status: Good article

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birthdate

There's an inconsistency in this article regarding Hayes' birthdate. Was he born in 1973 or 1971? That needs to be fixed before this article can be a Good Article. Cheers! Esrever 01:17, 5 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review #1

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Unfortunately,this article doesn't currently meet GA status requirements. While the references are of great quality (and well formatted to boot), there’s just not info in the body of the article. The main reasons this article didn't pass are that it's not well written, isn't broad enough in it's coverage, and isn't focused enough on Mercury himself in places (like the 1996 NFL draft). Here are some suggestions that might help the article get to GA status:

Add the Persondata template to the article.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:LOTD) 01:33, 18 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]
As pointed out on the talk page, the article lists two different birthdays for him; in the infobox it says Jan. 1 1973, while in the introduction it says Jan. 1 1971; this should be fixed as soon as possible.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:LOTD) 01:05, 18 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]
The article is not broad enough; some things to consider including are info about his time w/ Montreal, any early life info (what are the names of his parents; does he have any siblings), and things outside football (quotes from teammates or coaches, what is his personality like, what is he up to these days, etc.) Y I did the best I could at the encyclopedic level with the information available on the web.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:LOTD) 22:46, 19 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]
One of the requirements for GA status is that the article needs to be well written, which it doesn’t meet. For example, the first sentence in the “Professional Career” section is way too long; maybe highlighting one or two other big name wide receivers who went in the draft that year would be ok, but by having ten players mentioned it just becomes a list, and doesn’t add anything relevant about Mercury himself. Same for the first sentence in the “College career” section; it’s a run-on sentence that tries to pack too much info into one sentence.
In general, try to focus more on continuity; the 50 yard reception in 1996 should be mentioned after he signs with the Saints, and before he joins Atlanta. It would also make sense for continuity’s sake to talk about the schools interested in recruiting him at the beginning of the college section, instead of at the end. Plus, it doesn’t make much sense to go into detail about the “miracle at Michigan” game against Colorado if you don’t included info about Mercury’s contribution to the game.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:LOTD) 02:03, 20 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]

In short, this article requires a substantial amount of work before it should be considered for GA status again...this is more like a Start class article right now. Thank you for your contribution to Wikipedia thus far, and good luck with the article in the future. Monowi (talk) 23:40, 17 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]

GAN review

The review is on hold as these need fixing:

The first sentence of an article should always be concise. Y I have revised the first sentence.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 01:27, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"He was drafted just after Pro Bowl wide receiver Joe Horn, the 135th pick." - is this relevant, especially for the lead?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:05, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"ranked fifth nationally in both major polls" - What polls? Can a link be given for non-football followers?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:25, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"Other quarterbacks during his career were Todd Collins and Elvis Grbac." - is this during his Michigan career or his whole career? If whole career, is it relevant for the College career section?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:07, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"was heavily recruited by" - what does this mean?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 03:37, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"Hayes, son of Richard Hayes" - this should be mentioned earlier Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:55, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"is best remembered for his 7-reception 179-yard performance" - is this sourced?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:38, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"Hayes was on the sidelines nursing an injury" - do we know what injury?
- No. See the source.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:49, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"which would have placed him among the top 15 Canadian Football League receivers in yardage" - is this season yardage or career yardage?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:11, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The article doesn't mention his retirement. What has he been doing since?
- I have no information.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 19:55, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - The article text doesn't mention why or when his career ended, although the infobox says it was in 2000. Epbr123 (talk) 21:30, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The prose is far from perfect. Could you please do another round of copyediting?

Let me know when these are fixed or if you disagree with anything. Epbr123 (talk) 18:09, 6 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Seems good enough for me, pass. Good work. Epbr123 (talk) 12:40, 13 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Partial review

(edit conflicted with Epbr123) When clicking on this article I initially intended to do a GA review, but upon reading through the article it became clear that my lack of familiarity with American football would make a review difficult. Instead I shall leave some comments and request a second opinion.

The article is heavy in statistical content, which to a certain degree makes it impenetrable to someone unfamiliar with the sport. Questions raised when reading the first section of the body (with no obvious wikilink to answer them) included:
- both major polls what polls are these?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:58, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- 179-yard effort what is an "effort"?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:58, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- All-purpose yards what are All-purpose yards?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:14, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Some colloquialisms are used, which while OK in a sports magazine do not sit well in the formal context of an encyclopedia, e.g. receiving corps.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 03:41, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The lead and main body should be able to stand alone, each should make sense in the absence of the other. Rather than launching straight into "During Hayes' Michigan career", a sentence explaining that he started his career at Michigan ought to be present.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 04:36, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
miracle 27–26 comeback coming from behind to win a game is not a miracle.
- This comeback was by all accounts miraculous.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 20:19, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Fans or the press might have called it a miracle, but it was not performed by a deity or by supernatural means. The term "miracle" needs to be attributed. Oldelpaso (talk) 21:19, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Hayes, son of Richard Hayes, This comes out of nowhere, is there a more suitable place for it?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:56, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
When and against whom did Hayes make his first NFL appearance?
- I have checked DBF, PFR, CBS, ESPN, CNNSI and I can not find game by game detail of his career.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 20:10, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Clancy also holds the Michigan all-time record at 197. Not particularly relevant to a biography of Hayes.
Hayes once held the record for most consecutive games with a reception When did he set this record?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:43, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Was his touchdown against Michigan the only time he scored in his college career?
- I think you misread something. He played for Michigan.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 20:10, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - Sorry, I meant to write "for Michigan against Virginia". Oldelpaso (talk) 21:19, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Presumably different wide receivers have different strengths and weaknesses in their game. Is there anything at which Hayes was particularly adept or weak?
- These things are usually found in draft scouting reports. Hayes was drefted before the internet was really going so there is nothing much to be found.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 20:18, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Seven games in a season doesn't sound like a lot. Was Hayes a player who was on the fringe of the team?
- Yes. This is easily inferred from the article by a fan of the sport, IMO. It is not clear to me that I need to say this.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 02:47, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
He failed to accumulate 259 yards receiving on the season, which would have placed him among the top 15 Canadian Football League receivers in yardage. It seems odd to list something someone hasn't done. How many yards did he achieve?
- The point is not to say what he did not do. In the absence of data telling us what he did we say what we know. We don't know how many yards he had. We do know he did not finish on the list of top 15 in receiving yards so he had less than 259 presuming the list is correct.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 20:18, 7 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Frequent use of figures in brackets during sentences is a little jarring. Can some of them be incorporated into natural prose?

Hope these comments help, no doubt some of them arise purely due to my unfamiliarity with the subject and can be resolved with ease. Oldelpaso (talk) 18:33, 6 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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