Talk:Melania Trump/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Thebiguglyalien (talk · contribs) 07:52, 9 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: 750h+ (talk · contribs) 02:08, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Thebiguglyalien, I’ll review this article :)). 750h+ | Talk 02:08, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Prose

”Melania Trump (born Melanija Knavs;[a] April 26, 1970) is a Slovenian-American former model who served as the first lady of the United States from 2017 to 2021 as the wife of President Donald Trump.” That sentence might be a bit too long. Maybe “Melania Trump (born Melanija Knavs;[a] April 26, 1970) is a Slovenian-American former model who is the wife of President Donald Trump. As such, she was the first lady of the United States, serving from 2017 to 2021.”
”She changed the spelling of her name to Melania Knauss” For conciseness, consider changing to “She changed her name to Melania Knauss”
”They began dating, and she began adjusting to a more lavish lifestyle.” Maybe change to “They began dating, and she adopted a more lavish lifestyle.”
”In the month leading up to the election, she was forced to respond to the Access Hollywood tape that had caused a scandal for her husband.” remove had
”Her father Viktor Knavs first worked as a chauffeur, and he eventually sold car parts for a state-owned vehicle manufacturer as he made connections with the communist party.” Maybe changed to “Her father, Viktor Knavs, worked initially as a chauffeur before he began selling car parts for a state-owned vehicle manufacturer as he made connections with the communist party.” Might just be my personal preference though.
”Her mother Amalija worked as a patternmaker at the children's clothing manufacturer Jutranjka in Sevnica.” Add Amalija‘s last name.
”At the time, she had wanted to be a fashion designer rather than a model.” Remove had.

Referencing

I have done a spotcheck on 3 sources [3], [150], and [175]. Just a minor concern is reference 2, from the “Dolenjski list”, a reliable source?

Final comments

No more concerns. Address the above comments and I’ll be happy to pass the article! :) 750h+ | Talk 02:28, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- 750h+ I appreciate your taking the time to look over the article. However, I disagree that most of these are issues. This review only covers the first few paragraphs, and it does not address the GA criteria. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 22:13, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  I couldn’t find many issues. I can do a double scan if you want.. 750h+ | Talk 00:00, 2 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

750h+ Given the scope and contentious nature of this article, it would probably be better if it were looked at by someone with a lot of experience nominating and reviewing at GAN. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 00:57, 3 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, a second opinion has been added. 750h+ | Talk 00:59, 3 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

General comments

I am new to this process. A few notes:

There is and she began adjusting to a more lavish lifestyle. [...] After encouraging Donald to run for president in the 2016 presidential election in the lead and Melania was the one who finally convinced Donald to campaign for president in the 2016 presidential election, telling him that he either needed to do it or stop talking about it. in the body. -- By my reading (of the surrounding content as well) this second statement could be interpreted in a more negative way, and probably wasn't "encouragement".
There are "story elements" in the article like:
- The campaign longed to get Melania more active, as she was in a unique position to humanize Donald and to appeal to the American Dream from an immigrant's perspective.
- Melania Trump was involved in the vice presidential selection process, meeting with the top contenders, and her approval of Mike Pence contributed to his selection. The deciding factor, in her mind, was that Pence was not as ambitious as the other contenders and would not seek to undermine Donald. (This one seems to be overstating things—not that I am at all sure.)
- No one in the Trump campaign had previewed the speech, when political campaigns typically have several people scrutinize such a speech. (This probably should be attached to a name, and cannot be said in Wikipedia's voice (because the nature of the info is unreliable)) ... It also contradicts mildly with the following was a misunderstanding.
- An anonymous person who was with Donald when the news broke reported that "red was coming up his neck to his ears". An anonymous person should not be quoted.
- angry that he may have ended his candidacy with his comments this is spin (implying support, where it cannot be stated as fact)
- Those around Melania noticed that she was generally happier by mid-2018. By this time, she had reached a more advantageous marital agreement that ensured Barron would be given a fair inheritance. This sentence implies things that should be either an attributed accusation or struck out as BLP violations.
- and he valued her loyalty as she did not seek public attention of her own another implication here that I am not sure about, attribution to Jordan seems due
- For her final months in the White House, she stopped visiting her office in the East Wing, instead staying in the White House residence dressed in terrycloth bathrobes. huh?
- Also, her not being involved in the 2024 election is a single sentence, when her involvement in the 2016 election was covered quite extensively. The subject is probably terribly political, but a single sentence and no mention of there being *whatever it can be described as neutrally* seems too short.

Anyway, not a review, as I don't feel I can judge the topic with enough authority. ~ JackTheSecond (talk) 17:45, 8 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]