Talk:Megabat/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Jens Lallensack (talk · contribs) 11:03, 22 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your work on the always neglegted bats! I read through the first half of the article for now:

Minor points

as the fossil record for this family is the worst of all bats – I suggest "the fossil record is very fragmentary" or "more fragmentary than that of microbats" or something similar, to use more encyclopedic language.
- thanks for the suggestion
Ma (million years ago). – Best use mya, but better spell it out directly without this abbreviation, because its the lead section of the article.
- done
they are also of interest to public health as the natural reservoirs of several viruses than can affect humans – Is this sentence grammatically sound?
- I thought so, but I broke it up with a semicolon. Hope that sounds better
If they don't use echolocation, are they diurnal? Worth adding that to lead.
- most are not, no. added that information to new section #Behavior and social systems
and was subsequently changed to "Pteropididae" – misspelled
- gah, good catch
In the taxonomy, you write a lot about etymology but do not mention what Pteropus actually means. I also would clearly state that the family name is derived from that of a genus.
- added etymology; made relationship clearer
You give two different systematics as lists and a cladogram. Remember that this is an overview article. Why two systematics? Do they reflect current disagreement? If so, this should be stated. If not, the older one could be mentioned, but not sure if a list form is warranted.
- removed older list (also what can I say, I do love taxonomy)
The second list seems redundant to the provided phylogeny.
- justifying the inclusion of (1) list in addition to cladogram as the cladogram is from a study that only looked at African megabat taxa, as specified in the caption
As of 2011, there were 186 species of megabat. – living species?
- described species; clarified
et al. – say "and colleagues" instead, which is much more comprehensible. But not mentioning author names at all may be appropriate for this overview article.
- removed
their evolutionary lineages – write "their relationships" instead?
- done
Rousettinae:Myonycterini – this should be put in a sentence, as this notation-like style may be difficult to comprehend.
- rephrased
A 2001 study by Springer – What is the situation now? Are these 2001 results still under debate, or is there a consensus?
- very much so consensus; added a bit to make that explicit
a kind of lemur – not sure if we need "kind of" here?
- removed
body and its head facing forward – where is "its" referring to? "the" instead?
- removed this
The tendency while resting amongst this group – this means that this tendency is different in Microbats? If so, how do they differ?
- removed this
juices and pollen, the small seeds – suggest to use ";" instead of "," as you are basically starting a new sentence there.
- thanks
dispersal of the tree species. – would insert "respective"
- removed this part for now--will add new section for seed dispersal under ecology
a defining characteristic of megabat – does this mean a synapomorphy? What are the other defining features? I think this is worth mentioning.
- restructured this part and added more features that distinguish megabats/microbats
Megabats as a whole are often represented by the flying foxes of Pteropus and Acerodon – what does this mean?
- when people think of a megabat, they conflate the family with those two genera. I rephrased this part to make the point clearer.
these species are outliers in their body size, – you listed genera, not species
- rephrased
overestimate the size of megabats. – maybe write "overestimate the body size of the group as a whole"?
- rephrased
with a range of 24-34 teeth possible – possible seems superfluous and misleading
- removed
cheek teeth are simplified – why use yet another term here? You already used premolar and molar. Too many terms for the same things is confusing.
- removed
Megabats are diphyodont – but most mammals are.
- clarified
The deciduous set does not include molars. – again, not specific for the group
- clarified and added additional citation
Giannini and Simmons 2007 – I would write "in 2007" to make it a sentence, or just write "a 2007 study".
- done
section "Skull and dentition" only has dentition, nothing on the skull.
- I'm just going to remove the word "skull" for right now. I'm finding it difficult to locate a source that describes pteropodid skull morphology as a whole--most are focused on individual genera.
You have a lot on teeth. I would make the long table collabsable, and try to get some balance to other parts of the body.
- removed table
Within Pteropus, the scapula is narrow and has a large supraspinatous fossa. – What is the relevance of a feature that only occurs in a single genus?
- Yes, it's one of many genera within the family, but it's a third of all the species.
  - went ahead and removed this--found a better source with more detail
called the calcar – I would add the function of this structure. Also, this occurs in microbats as well? Mention that also.
- added function & occurrence in microbats
anything about wings apart from the humerus?
- added more about shoulder joint
The shaft of the humerus is curved. – Does that mean it is straight in microbats (especially because you were comparing to those previously)?
- removed

Major points

I see a couple of issues:

My main concern is on balance, comprehensiveness and redundance:
- You give a lot of information that is true for all bats, or even for all mammals. But the reader might think that all of this information is specific for megabats. I would only keep the most important (for the general understanding) of this general information, and always indicate when you do so (e.g., "as in most other mammals" …)
  - I've taken some steps to address this, hopefully that is sufficient
- It does not become clear how to distinguish a megabat from a microbat (apart from size).
  - Added some more distinguishing features. now have:

larger on average
claw on 2nd digit for most members (noting the exceptions)
longer thumbs
cannot echolocate
lacking uropatagium

- Some topics are covered in great detail (e.g., teeth), others not at all (e.g., wings). This seems to be a balance issue.
  - I'm considering removing the teeth table, as it seems responsible for some of the balance issues pointed out. However, I disagree that wings are not covered at all, as a paragraph of Megabat#Postcrania is dedicated to describing the forelimbs
    - Followup: did indeed remove teeth table. Bat dentition can probably be its own article at some point, so saving that in my sandbox for the time being.
- The Biology and Ecology is extremely short. Some topics (e.g., "Predators, parasites, and diseases", "Social behavior") appear to be missing completely. Compare with the "bat" article.
  - expanded

All in all, I think that the article is currently not yet up to the GA criteria "well written" and "Broad in its coverage" (see examples above). But I also think that it is close to GA otherwise. I would appreciate if you could have a general go-over with the above points in mind. I would then be happy to take a second look. If you need more time, we could also fail it for now, so that you can renominate once ready, depends on you! --Jens Lallensack (talk) 11:03, 22 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Jens Lallensack, thanks for looking this over. "Bat" is a really great article (I'm sad to say I had nothing to do with it), but I hope it is not too emblematic in this circumstance, as it is FA. I work quickly and have time on my hands, so I don't think we need to fail for now. I will see what I can do to add content in more areas so that the article is more balanced. Thanks, Enwebb (talk) 15:02, 22 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Great! Sure, I'm fully aware that this is GA only, although some of the comments may go beyond the basic GA criteria. I prefer to provide a full review, but in case of doubt I do not require that you address those in order to reach GA. And please take your time – I didn't want to sound as if we would be in a hurry or something. Looking forward to reading again, and let me know if there are any questions. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 18:41, 22 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

There is some useful general info in "Grzimek’s Animal Life Encyclopedia, Second Edition". A very good source I would say, as it has encyclopedic review articles written by scientists. I have it and can send it to you if you are interested. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 17:48, 23 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Jens Lallensack that would be great! I'll be checking my email for it. I think I've made a lot of progress over the past few days and should be ready for another round of feedback by this weekend. Enwebb (talk) 23:53, 23 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  - You should have gotten a wiki mail now. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 06:04, 24 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Jens Lallensack would you mind giving this another read-through? Thanks, Enwebb (talk) 20:20, 24 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Second look

they are the natural reservoirs of several viruses than can affect humans. – "that" can affect humans?
- fixed
Three of Bergmans's subfamilies received support: – The guy was not mentioned before, so no idea to which study this is referring to.
- I had removed the name when mentioned earlier. Made clearer I was referring to 1997 classification based on morphology
In reality, these species are outliers, creating a misconception of the true size of most megabats – I still think this needs to be reformulated. If these species comprise one third of all megabats, they cannot be "outliers" per definition I would say. Perhaps say "these genera are outliers"? Also, with "most megabats", is this rererring to species count, or individual count? --Jens Lallensack (talk) 11:24, 25 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- clarified
to the lack tragi – "of" missing?
- thank you
ear appearance – perhaps better "appearance of the ear"? --Jens Lallensack (talk) 11:24, 25 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- changed

You were going to add more feedback, Jens Lallensack? Enwebb (talk) 16:05, 28 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, sorry for the delay, got busy in real life.

understandable, no worries

laterally diplaced – typo? Also, I would link/explain "laterally".
- typo fixed; link and explanation added
flexing in opposition – maybe explain what this means, as most readers might not know.
- added explanation
cardiovascular system – link?
- done
in some species of the following genera: Desmalopex, Mirimiri, Pteralopex, and some Pteropus. – Perhaps better and simpler "In some species of Desmalopex …". Currently the "some" appears twice, and it is unclear why.
- resolved
possess a tapetum lucidum – link and gloss explanation?
- done
retinae – link?
- done
350,000 – 800,000 per – This needs to be "350,00–800,000", without spaces.
- done
equivalent to or exceeding animals such as the house mouse, domestic cat, and domestic rabbit. – Why these three species? Do they have acute size in common? Or are they just placeholders for the "average" mammal? I mean, are they average or above average regarding rod cell density?
- added in clarifying statement that megabat rod densities match or exceed other nocturnal/crepuscular animals
It is estimated that more than 98% of the pteropodid fossil record is missing – The fossil record are the totality of fossils in existence, so this needs tweaking. I suggest "of the pteropodid evolutionary history is missing".
- rephrased using terminology of original publication: "Pteropodid bats, long known to have a poorly sampled record, were missing upwards of98% of their fossil history"
were able to colonize – better, and simpler, just write "colonized"?
- changed
laryngeal – link?
- done
Although echolocation was later lost in family Pteropodidae, – add "the"?
- done
The nature of the flight and echolocation mechanism of bats allows for creation of echolocation pulses with minimal energy use. Energetic coupling of these two processes – This is somehow vague, what is this "nature of the mechanisms", I have no idea how flight could help with echolocation.
- rewrote this part
zygote, uterine – link?
- done
The Fischer's pygmy fruit bat has the adaptation of post-implantation – You discuss this at two different places within the paragraph. Why not group both sentences on this species together?
- rephrased
any information on newborns (how large/how developed)?
- added a paragraph
will vocalize – what kind of vocalization? Screaming?
- added sentence
Maybe add something on roosting, and on cave roosters vs tree roosters, in "Behavior and social systems", as it becomes important later but is not well introduced.
- added paragraph
One reason humans kill megabats is for food. – I think you could delete this sentence without loosing anything.
- removed
In Mauritius, over 40,000 Mauritian flying foxes were culled in a two-year period, – give date for this period? Did it happen recently, or 100 years ago?
- very recently--dates added
In Australia the rabies virus is not naturally present; – Don't understand this; why this information? Was the virus introduced by humans, and infected the flying foxes subsequently?
- the disease rabies is caused by lyssaviruses, including but not limited to the rabies virus. I was trying to convey that the only lyssavirus is Australian bat lyssavirus. I feel this could be helpful (and perhaps surprising) to readers in areas where rabies is only caused by the rabies virus.
it also rarely occurs humans. – "affects" or "occurs in"?
- fixed
40-75%. – this needs a proper dash (40–75%).
- fixed
They can carry filoviruses, including the Ebola virus (EBOV) and Marburgvirus. – Anything about casualties or impact here? That information was given for the other viruses at least.
- added a paragraph on each virus. the relationship of ebola, bats, and people is still very unclear, though.
While other bat species have been suspected or implicated as the reservoir of diseases such as SARS and Ebola, flying foxes are not suspected as hosts for either causative virus. – But it is stated above they are hosts for the Ebola virus?
- not flying foxes (Pteropus)
  - on second thought I removed this final mention of ebola virus and generalized it to say that other bats are suspected to host the SARS virus, but not megabats
Thats all! A very good read overall. The above is a full review that goes beyond mere GAN requirements; I don't request that everything gets improved right now for reaching GA (especially the suggested additional information are optional). --Jens Lallensack (talk) 16:36, 28 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Phew! Alright, Jens Lallensack, any other thoughts? I believe I have addressed all your listed concerns and comments. Enwebb (talk) 21:11, 30 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Great, thank you, looks very good! Promoting now, congratulations! --Jens Lallensack (talk) 06:16, 31 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your very thorough review! The article is much improved because of it. Enwebb (talk) 15:45, 31 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]