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Talk:Medieval Faire (Canada's Wonderland)/GA1

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Reviewer: Bladeboy1889 (talk · contribs) 07:44, 5 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll have a go at this over the weekend.

Thanks! -- Zanimum (talk) 16:56, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It's quite long so it might take me a few days as I didn't have as much time as I thought over the weekend. I'll concentrate on the prose section by section. I tend to make any minor text tweaks myself rather than noting them all down (quicker that way) and I'll leave any other comments and suggestions here - feel free to start doing any changes or tweaks as I go along if I don't get finished all in one go. It's all suggestions as to what I think will improve the article for the general reader so happy to discuss any points, especially if you feel there are specific reasons why a change should not be made.Bladeboy1889 (talk) 16:16, 8 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

  • It feels a bit short in view of the whole of the article - once we're happy with the rest of the article it'll need expanding to give more coverage.
  • 'Themed to' -> 'around the'
  • 'and weaker attendances than the Action Zone' - doesn't make sense as part of that sentence - was one the result of the other? (Which might be difficult to reference).
    • Hopefully at the end of the season, one of the coaster sites does a blog post in this direction. There's nothing citeable, despite this being a commonly held view amongst Wonderland visitors. Until then, I've deleted it. -- Zanimum (talk) 18:17, 28 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • The two parts of the last sentence of para 1 should be split as they are about different subjects.

Theming

  • 'is the parks washrooms' - should be 'are the park's washrooms' or 'is the park's washroom'. Are these the only ones in the whole park? if not then it should state that they are this area of the park's
  • 'themed to' -> 'themed in a medieval style'. I'd finish the sentence after the bit about the doors and start a new one with the publicist comment. Also add "later told the press that many guests..."
  • 'As of the opening year' - does that mean they've never moved? if so then something like 'since the section/area opened' might be a bit clearer.
    • I think I've addressed all of these concerns. The ticket booth was removed, since rides are now free with admission; I've clarified that they are the Med Faire washrooms, not the only ones in the park; I've also made the other grammatical edits suggested, or variants of. You didn't ask, but I feel I should clarify, in case you were wondering: the publicist is a red link since they later became a Toronto Sun history columnist and author of numerous pop historian books. -- Zanimum (talk) 01:00, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Rides

  • The info on the re-naming of the rides makes that section feel a bit clunky although I'm struggling to think of a better way of doing it. Were they all renamed at the same time or drip-fed over a number of seasons? If it's the former then I'd suggest placing all that into into it's own sentence. If not then let's have a think about it and see if we can make it feel a bit more elegant.
  • Wooden coasters - I can see why that's there but it changes the focus of the section from being the Medieval Fare to the park in general. Maybe change to '...that Wilde Beast (along with two of the other original coasters at the park; Scooby...)' etc? Also due to 'a study' rather than studying?
    • I've gone in a different direction, avoided study/studying entirely. There's nothing in the source article to suggest it was a formal study, and nothing to suggest it was a bunch of guys merely standing around saying “that seems to work well”. I now have an ambiguous sentence about “the apparent popularity”. Does that work? -- Zanimum (talk) 01:00, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Was the Belfrey shop added at the same time as the Bat? If so it's worth adding something like 'during the same season' to give it a timeline.
  • Again the renaming - could they be wrapped up in a separate sentence at the end?
  • The Behemoth and the Windseeker - they're not part of MF right? If so then it's a bit of an irellevance aside from noting that Leviathan will take the record previously held by one of the park's other coasters; the Behemoth. Also - is Leviathan open yet? The stuff about it could be termed 'crystal ball' and if possible would be better couched in present rather than future tense if at all possible.
  • The rating system - is that the park's own or something standard across WP theme park articles? If it's the park's then that should be noted. Also the inclusion of colour in the key but not in the table is a bit odd although I'd be adverse to colouring the large boxes at the end of the rows either. Not sure how else it could be introduced though. It might be worth trying out to see how it looks in practice. If we do retain colour then the text should be white on all of them bar the yellow for accessibility purposes.

Wonderland Theatre

  • The section about the original show feels a bit excessively detailed and dominates the section, particularly when there is no information about the Ice shows that followed.
    • Actually, it started out as a stage for the first two decades. I've added a bit of a list of shows, and mention some of the performers that got their start there. Is it a little bit better now? There's zilch online about the shows, and all of my physical print materials are either from the original two seasons or from recent years. There's little to nothing in the Toronto Star online archives, full-text, which is available via local libraries in Ontario. -- Zanimum (talk) 18:15, 28 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      • This has a much better feel to it - by balancing it out with more details on the later shows the info on the original one is less dominating. Bladeboy1889 (talk)
  • The mention of the ice shows should be re-worded as well. I'm guessing it means that Ice shows were put on at the theatre as opposed to the park in general? Also it would be better phrased along the lines that they '...ran from 2007 until 2011 and featured Endless Summer (2007-09) and Snoopy (2009-2011)...' etc. A bit more detail on these shows might help balance out the proceeding section.

Arthur's Baye

  • Is the Kinet-X a new show or just the previous one rebranded? If it's substantially different an overview of the changes should be included.

Food

  • The sentence: "Arthur's Baye Mill & Bakery, largely out of site from the bay, shared a building with store The Market Place." makes no sense. It needs rewriting to convey a proper meaning.
  • There's still a citation tag around the marketplace opening times
  • As the original outlets are detailed with their produce, shouldn't the later additions have the same level of detail?
  • "With public entry between Wonderland theatre and Riptide, Courtyard was originally known as King's Courtyard..." - not sure what the first part means and it suddenly introduces this area 'Courtyard' with no explanation of what it is.

That's it for the prose and content - if you could review the above and note down any comments or mark up what has been looked at that would be great. I'll review the other GA elements while you do that but on first glance it all looks fine (images OK, NPOV, stable etc) so I'll put it on hold whilst you review. I think with just a few changes and tweaks it'll be fine for GA but I'll give it a final once over after any further edits. Thanks Bladeboy1889 (talk) 17:35, 9 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Some good progress has been made but seems to have ground to a halt. I'd rather keep going than just fail the article when it's so close to getting completed but we can't leave it stuck on hold forever. Are the final elements likely to be reviewed any time soon? Bladeboy1889 (talk) 11:50, 19 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry, I was trying to find sources, but then it started slipping my mind. I'm going to see if some of the other Wonderland contributors can pile on this. -- Zanimum (talk) 18:21, 19 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I know how difficult it can be to find time to revise stuff - particularly since it took so long for anyone to review the article int he first place - but this has been sat on hold now for a considerable time and by the rules of the game it should be failed. I'll give it until Sunday (whenever I'm online during the day GMT) and if it's not completed I'll have no option which is a shame as there are only a couple of outstanding issues. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 08:32, 27 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
My apologies for the delay. -- Zanimum (talk) 19:19, 28 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for persevering. My aim is always to pass an article if at all possible (assuming it's on the way to GA to start with) rather than getting tied up with 'rules' about the process timings. The last bits of revision you've done have made a big difference to the show and food sections. Well done. One this got be aware of though was that I had to fix a lot of the refs. It looks like spaces got inserted into the middle of some long urls when you pasted them in - you need to watch out for this as it not only breaks the formatting of the ref but also creates dead links. That aside - it's good to go now. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:18, 29 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
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