Talk:Media Molecule/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: OceanHok (talk · contribs) 18:07, 16 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

They left Lionhead in 2005 and presented an early precursor of LittleBigPlanet to Sony - A bit strange you are just linking Sony to Sony instead of SCE, but then you mention SCE by its full name later.
Done Changed Sony to Sony Computer Entertainment (SCE) and got rid of its full name later on.
Two months later, they had a successful green-light meeting so LittleBigPlanet started production - Unnecessary details in the lead
Done Got rid of the green-light meeting only mentioning its prodcution and release.
The history section can be broken up into several subsections for easier navigation.
Partly done I will finish adding more sub headings once I have expanded the article's coverage. Spy-cicle💥 ^Talk? 21:22, 14 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
A bit strange so many focus is dedicated to Rag Doll Kung Fu. I understand the necessity of introducing the background of the founders but saying that the game got Nintendo's attention is a bit too much and irrelevant to the studio's history/development. It is more of an "Alex Evens" thing rather than the history of MM.
Done I have scrapped the mention of Nintendo's interest in Rag Doll Kung Fu.
I also think you should trim the part about The Room as well. Maybe just the part about The Room being similar to Portal games and Valve nearly published them. The part about Narbacular Drop, GDC and Evan's quotes is not important and shouldn't be considered as "history" of the studio since all of these were before the studio actually formed.
Done Trimmed.
and described it as a "pretty vague pitch" - and described the pitch as "pretty vague" sounds a bit better IMO.
Done
Despite this Sony were interested in the game, partly due to Harrison's enthusiasm for the game, according to Smith - Suggest changing to Despite this Sony were interested, partly due to Harrison's enthusiasm for the game, according to Smith
Done
In January 2006, they secured their funding from Sony for six months, they started to set up their office Media Molecule was incorporated and they started pre-production of the game - Something is missing in this sentence.
I see what you mean it is quite a long, winding sentence. I have tweaked a few words and added a comma: In January 2006, they secured their funding from Sony for six months, they started to set up their office, Media Molecule was incorporated, and they started pre-production of the game. Spy-cicle💥 ^Talk? 15:10, 7 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
This "exclusive relationship" allowed Media Molecule to create an original game exclusively for the PlayStation 3 - Suggest changing to This agreement allowed Media Molecule to create an original game exclusively for the PlayStation 3
Done
The deal included Sony owning the intellectual property and the exclusivity of LittleBigPlanet on PlayStation consoles - Exclusivity is a bit WP:JARGONy.
I was not sure on the best way to solve this so I added a note in brackets (meaning that LittleBigPlanet will only be released on PlayStation consoles) Spy-cicle💥 ^Talk? 15:10, 7 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
to decide whether to give LittleBigPlanet the green-light on production - Suggest changing to to decide whether to greenlight the game's production.
Done
Harrison stated that this demonstrated their innovative thinking and the way they wanted to challenge conventions making him very impressed - Suggest changing to Harrison stated that this demonstrated their innovative thinking and the way they wanted to challenge conventions impressed him.
Done
showing core gameplay elements throughout a game level - I am not too sure if "throughout" is the best term to describe this. Maybe simply "in" a level?
I think that "throughout" does fit here since gameplay elements were shown in the beginning, middle and end of the level. Spy-cicle💥 ^Talk? 15:10, 7 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
LittleBigPlanet was critically acclaimed by reviews and was "universally acclaimed" by critics on review aggregator Metacritic - LittleBigPlanet was critically acclaimed by critics is already sufficient.
Done
There is too little information about Media Molecule's history from 2010-2020. They have released five games in total, and the history section only discusses 1 game in detail while others are all in passing mention. I think you need to expand this section significantly because this will be failing the completeness of the GA criteria.
Working Researching this has taken longer than expected but this should be done soon. Regards Spy-cicle💥 ^Talk? 21:22, 14 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Evans, one of the technical directors stated - Evans being the technical director is established in the history section already, so you should delete this part here.
Done
Healey stated "I am really intent on keeping us a small focused team I've had enough of working on big, bloated teams, you get too much deadwood in those situations. Everyone at Media Molecule matters."[12] Evans also stated when they were starting the studio they did not want to have a 200-person team. - MOS:YOU. Evan's remarks is kind of unnecessary because it does not explain anything. Also, you should try WP:PARAPHRASING some of the quotes.
Not sure I know on Wikipedia we avoid using second-person pronouns like "you" but the usage of "you" was from a quote by Healey so does that mean we still change it?

Done I have cut out Evan's second remark.

Done I have parapharsed Evan's first quote.
However, once there are a large number of people it can cause too many tensions and compared it to being in a soap opera. - Who said this?
Done I have clarified this was said by Mark Healey.
The first paragraph of the Philosophy section is a bit messy to be honest. For instance, Healey explained they settled on a small team with a maximum of 30 developers is already mentioned before with We reckon that by picking our battles, we can keep it under 25-30.
Done Removed Healey's second mention of 30 employee maximum.
You need to fix the WP:CITEKILL in the second paragraph of the philosophy section
Done
I'd think you should merge the two tables together since MM developed all of these games. You can use the notes column to say that some other devs led the development. Isn't MM also a co-developer for Tearaway Unfolded?
Done

GA Criteria per WP:WIAGA
1	Well-written
1a	the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct
1b	it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation
2	Verifiable with no original research
2a	it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline
2b	reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose)
2c	it contains no original research
2d	it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism
3	Broad in its coverage
3a	it addresses the main aspects of the topic
3b	it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style)
4	Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each
5	Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute
6	Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio
6a	media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content
6b	media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions
Cmt	I think the article would benefit from a round of WP:Copyediting because the writing is not concise enough in both the history and the philosophy section. Some paraphrasing efforts would also improve the article. However, my major concern is the scope of the article. 10 years of history are missing. OceanHok (talk) 13:48, 5 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the feedback; I will start addressing and fixing the outstanding issues. Regards Spy-cicle💥 ^Talk? 19:41, 5 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Have you finished updating the article? OceanHok (talk) 08:37, 10 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Not yet. I still need to fully update the coverage of the history section to cover Tearaway and Dreams in more detail. I have been caught up in some IRL stuff, so if I do not update by next week just close it. Regards Spy-cicle💥 ^Talk? 20:56, 10 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I am closing the review. OceanHok (talk) 18:13, 18 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Nevertheless, I appreciate the feedback. Regards Spy-cicle💥 ^Talk? 20:00, 18 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]