Talk:McIntosh (apple)/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Jamesx12345 (talk · contribs) 20:40, 20 July 2014 (UTC)
I'll review this over the next few days. Jamesx12345 20:40, 20 July 2014 (UTC)
- "bred it" - bred it could mean he created it on purpose, "sold cuttings from it" is less ambiguous.
- "McIntosh combines well" - not entirely clear what this means (if it is a common technical term, a note would be nice.)
- In the Cultivation section, there is info on cloning in the first and third paragraphs - could be combined.
- "The original tree discovered by John McIntosh..." - this is also said earlier on, could be merged.
- "cuttings from the last known first-generation McIntosh graft before it died in 2011 for producing clones" - McIntosh could be removed for readability - lots of words.
Very nice article, informative and well-written. Jamesx12345 21:06, 20 July 2014 (UTC)
- This article is missing a lot of important data. First of all, is this JUST the fruit or the whole plant? It is missing a basic description of Malus domestica! It doesn't even cover the basic details of the cultivar as coming mainly from M. sylvestris and M. pumila. This article needs to really get to grips with the fact that the fruit itself is not the be all end-all of what this article should be. Even the claims of its genetic origins are lacking. The history is ruined by a tangential picture of Andrew McNaughton, one of the worst pictures you could possibly place in this article. Why not the portrait of John McIntosh?! Cultural significance is so-so, but I'd think a better description of the fruit and perhaps nutritional information would be more important to add. Though I think the process of grafting and explaining how production of the trees for their fruit really needs to be covered at least in some detail. Big, huge, gaping holes in coverage here of all easily sourced material. There are books dedicated to it after all. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 07:04, 24 July 2014 (UTC)
- Okay, I'm going to withdraw this, as I can see there are some important aspects that need to be expanded, but: "Ruined" by "one of the worst possible pictures"? Give me a break! I almost ignored what you wrote entirely because of this hyperbolic horseshit. Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 05:58, 27 July 2014 (UTC)
- Sorry, but I assure you that on mobile it is really impeding. Though another problem exists you should have been aware of - the legend is not proven. Even your source explicitly states: "According to Cold War legend, Gen. Andrew McNaughton, Canada’s ambassador to the United Nations in the late 1940s, once told Soviet Minister of Foreign Affairs Andrei Gromyko our best apples were “McIntosh Reds.”" The text instead drops the entire dubious legend account and instead asserts (contrary to the source) that "In the late 1940s, Canadian ambassador to the United Nations Andrew McNaughton told Soviet Minister for Foreign Affairs Andrei Gromyko that the McIntosh Red was Canada's best apple.[14]" Again, sorry if it came off as rude, but it was undue weight and my eyes were drawn right to the error and what seemed like a misuse of a picture and re-iteration of an dubious and popular claim that lacked verification - reduplicating it. Withdrawing it was a good idea, but please make sure you fix errors like this - and quickly. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 04:15, 2 August 2014 (UTC)
- This article is missing a lot of important data. First of all, is this JUST the fruit or the whole plant? It is missing a basic description of Malus domestica! It doesn't even cover the basic details of the cultivar as coming mainly from M. sylvestris and M. pumila. This article needs to really get to grips with the fact that the fruit itself is not the be all end-all of what this article should be. Even the claims of its genetic origins are lacking. The history is ruined by a tangential picture of Andrew McNaughton, one of the worst pictures you could possibly place in this article. Why not the portrait of John McIntosh?! Cultural significance is so-so, but I'd think a better description of the fruit and perhaps nutritional information would be more important to add. Though I think the process of grafting and explaining how production of the trees for their fruit really needs to be covered at least in some detail. Big, huge, gaping holes in coverage here of all easily sourced material. There are books dedicated to it after all. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 07:04, 24 July 2014 (UTC)