Talk:Matthew Wright (basketball)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk · contribs) 18:13, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Review

Lead

The lead is quite short for the length of this article. Please add a bit about his high school, college, pro, and international career. I would say you could merge his high school and college into a few sentences but his pro needs to be at least one paragraph

High school and college

Per the Toronto Star, he was Selected athlete of the year at Bloorlea Middle School.
- When did he start playing basketball? Do we have any information before high school?
Please Wikilink (I will refer to this as WL typically FYI) the first use of the word points to Point (basketball)
Please WL Florida State Seminoles men's basketball
Please WL the first use of the word three pointer to Three-point field goal
Please WL Free throw
Aside from finishing in the top 10 for scoring in the Atlantic 10 conference, he also finished in the top 10 for assists, three-pointers made, minutes played, and free throw percentage (which he led the entire conference). He graduated with a degree in history. No reference

Westports Malaysia Dragons

There is no mention of how he joined this team. Why did he leave UJAP Quimper 29? There could be one sentence about him signing a contract with them.

Personal life

Do we have any information about his parents (his mom's name is Ofelia Agustin)? What about any siblings? Are both his parents Filipino?
- I would word something like Wright was born on February 7, 1991, in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, to parents ____ and _____.
I think you could put the growing up in Toronto sentence & idols into two sentences together. Like just move the idol sentence up so it isn't by itself.
Per the same Toronto Star article, he volunteered at the Horner Community Centre in high school. Does he do any charity work now?

References

A lot of the references do not list a website or publisher (eg. #4, #7, #8)
I would also recommend archiving these references using the Wayback Machine or a script.

A longer review is coming but this was a quick once over. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 18:32, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, thank you for the feedback. I've added some more info to answer your questions. If there's anything else to add, let me know. Thanks D-Flo27 (talk) 06:09, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Con't review

He finished the season on the All-Rookie Team Could you also add how many pts he ended with? Just a bit more info.
Due to food poisoning he missed the team's first game... add a comma after poisoning
Following a league-imposed break, him and Manuel should be he not him
On the opening day of the league, he was made a member of the Second Mythical Team for the previous season. I found this a bit confusing given its placement. Since I don't think it matters when he was made a member, I would put this at the end of the 2021 season blurb.
In the Governors' Cup, he had a foot injury.[72] But he was able to play in Phoenix's final game... was this meant to be a comma? If not, it's a bit of a short sentence. Could you possibly elaborate (ie. when did he get the foot injury, how many pts did he have in the game?) I would also change the start of the sentence to However, he was able instead of but.

All taken care of. Appreciate it! D-Flo27 (talk) 04:05, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Last part

D-Flo27, I think the last bit is mostly about wording. These are really minor changes to fix and I am confident I can pass this article afterwards. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 00:10, 24 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
When he was in middle school at Bloorlea Middle School, he was selected as its Athlete of the Year. It's a bit redundant to say middle school twice therefore I propose the following change: While attending Bloorlea Middle School, Wright was selected as their Athlete of the Year.
I think it leaves the readers hanging after He did consider committing to the La Salle Green Archers in the Philippines before his final year of high school because I want to know why he didn't commit. Would you consider changing it to Although he considered committing to the La Salle Green Archers in the Philippines before his final year of high school, Wright chose to remain in Toronto and attempt to qualify for a Division 1 program?
I noticed that the college section is lacking in terms of content. Do we have any more information about his freshman collegiate season? Could you please add a sentence about what he finished with in each season?
In Wright's B.League debut, he was scoreless, which was a loss to the Sendai 89ers. This is a bit of an awkward sentence. It would make more sense to be Wright went scoreless in his B.League debut against the Sendai 89ers but recorded four assists and three rebounds. The added info is from the article.
I've just finished adding your suggestions and some new info. Thank you very much. D-Flo27 (talk) 03:36, 24 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- D-Flo27, passing! HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 15:13, 25 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]