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This is a mess. How do we tag it for needing serious clean up? It's full of typos and grammatical errors. unsigned comment at 11:49, 27 September 2009 by 75.61.232.112
I will be reviewing the article over the next week or so. I will probably do some minor copy edits here and there. This is, admittedly, my first GAN review, so I am not sure if I should feel sorry for you or not! Please hang on, as I have somewhat intermittent internet access at the moment. -PaxVerbum23:48, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@Hawkeye7: I found myself with some extra time today, so here you go. Before I give a final assessment, can you address the red sections and my comments at the end? If those are taken care of, it is sure to pass. Please let me know if you have any questions!-PaxVerbum04:55, 10 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Please see comments below. If all of them can be adequately addressed, then I will change this section to "pass." I also went through and did made several minor copy edits myself. Everything has been addressed.
There is one reference in the lead section. Some editors may not go for that. Also, it is duplicated word for word in the body. I think the quote (and hence the reference) in the lead can go.
Regarding the Caltech section (and the reason why I marked this section as "no" for now: I agree with the previous reviewer that this section is more than just Caltech, even if he remained on the Caltech faculty that entire period (but I don't think that is the case). I would retitle the section "Later career" or something similar. Caltech in the section heading should be formalized, but if you take my previous suggestion, that won't be an issue anyway. Everything has been addressed, although the quote in the lead may have to go if this shows up at FAC.
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
All sources seem current and are verified. Corrected one dead link.
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
This won't impact the GAN, but is there a better quality/higher resolution photo of him somewhere? McKibbin's photo on her article looks just fine. Eventually, additional images would be nice as well.
7. Overall assessment.
All issues were addressed, and in a timely manner.
Additional comments:
World War II
"Sands was at the Trinity nuclear test site..." This transition from the previous paragraph is quite awkward and comes out of nowhere. It needs more clarity, such as adding a word or two that it was connected to his work at Los Alamos, or something similar. It made me feel like he had switched jobs completely.
"One part, the expansion of nuclear physics, was spearheaded by physics professor Jerrold R. Zacharias" - One part of what? The new expansion? It's important to be very clear and avoid vague terms, especially for readers who may be new to the topic.
Ah OK. I wish we could find a source! It's a great anecdote. I will try looking too. I'm on my mobile now, but when I get on for my "regular" Wiki session tonight, I will do one last check and then pass the review. -PaxVerbum15:03, 10 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]