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Talk:Mary Wittenberg/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

If you have any questions or concerns about this review, let me know. I will be watching this page, so if you have any comments this is the best place to communicate. Thanks, -Mitico (talk, contribs) 16:53, 2 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Note - I added more to the infobox photo caption.
  1. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Initial comments

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My initial impression is that this article is short, but well-referenced. I will be especially concerned with GA criteria 3a (broad in coverage). There are no deadlinks or links to disambiguous pages.

Couple quick items to start:

  1. Since this is a biography adding the persondata template per WP:DATA would be helpful.
I am in the process of trying to get her birthdate. I will take care of this when I receive it (hopefully I will)
Got it - added to infobox, category, and added persondata template
  1. Wittenberg is her married name. Her maiden name should be mentioned in the article too.
Gosh, I completely missed this. Thanks. I will add it when I get the dob, since as far as I can tell, a good way to add it is with the dob, like it is on Priscilla Presley (I can't find a wp:mos guidelines about maiden names.)
I added it per wp:mos for bio
  • I will follow up with a detail prose & reference review.

Detailed review

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Lead
  • programs that draw over 300,000 yearly participants. The lead should not introduce content that is not in the body.
Added to 4th para in NYRR section
  • The lead focuses entirely on here NYRR work. Consider mention her running career and being a lawyer.
I added a bit about her winning the Marine Corps Marathon.


Early
  • played sports that her father coached, including baseball and basketball. is very close to the source played the sports that her father coached — baseball, softball, and basketball. -- restructure to avoid over-similarity.
Done.
  • She attended Canisius College, where she was on a champion West Side Rowing Club team, -the source says she was a member of west side prior to college.
Thanks for catching that. Changed.
  • Should cheerleading be mentioned?
Included.
NYRR
  • first female partner for her law firm. - do you have another source for this? The source says first on her "team" -- not necessarily in the firm's history.
Great catch, I misread that.
  • In 2005, Wittenberg -short paragraph should be worked into another.
Done.
  • similar to NASCAR's Sprint Cup -is this cited, or an original analogy
Actually, this ref compares it to NASCAR's cup, with the cumulative standings [1]. Note that Sprint merged with Nextel, so the name changed:
Wittenberg: We’re introducing for our sport a Nextel Cup approach: Who is going to be the best marathoner over a two-year period? That requires consistency: performing at the top of your game over several of the individual events. It’s a nice combination of some of the best of what several other sports have

  • During this event, Ryan Shay passed away while competing. -I think the significance of this could be explained at little more.
I included that he was a collegiate star and that he died of a heart attack. I changed the ref to one that has the heart attack cause
Personal
  • There seems to be enough available to expand this section a little (couple sentences). My recommendation would be to write about her family/personal stuff, then finalize the article with her personal running information. Since she no longer runs marathons, I assume the the 18/20 races are not marathons. Please confirm.
Yes, she no longer runs marathons. I included something about that. I did a bit more about her training, and an interesting bit about her running pre-dawn on the biggest NYRR day - when the NYC marathon occurs.

Overall Some minor items to be resolved. All & all, a nice article on an interesting subject. She is a semi-public figure so there is not a lot of information coverage of her. I am putting on hold. If you have any questions let me know. Mitico (talk, contribs) 19:01, 2 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Great feedback. I appreciate it. This is my first time in this process. and I look forward to more. This puts the "C" in collaborative!
I will take care of the rest of the stuff when I get her dob.
DOB and maiden name are put in. Please let me know if there's anything else to take care of. Thanks again for your excellent feedback. --Omarcheeseboro (talk) 00:29, 3 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

GA Pass - After reviewing the changes and re-reading the article I believe this article meets all the criteria of a good article. Great work Omarcheeseboro! Thank you for doing your part, and congrats on your first GA. Any questions, let me know. -Mitico (talk, contribs) 14:19, 3 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much Mitico. --Omarcheeseboro (talk) 15:25, 3 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]