Talk:Mary Wittenberg/GA1

GA Review

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If you have any questions or concerns about this review, let me know. I will be watching this page, so if you have any comments this is the best place to communicate. Thanks, -Mitico (talk, contribs) 16:53, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Note - I added more to the infobox photo caption.

2. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Initial comments

My initial impression is that this article is short, but well-referenced. I will be especially concerned with GA criteria 3a (broad in coverage). There are no deadlinks or links to disambiguous pages.

Couple quick items to start:

1. Since this is a biography adding the persondata template per WP:DATA would be helpful.

I am in the process of trying to get her birthdate. I will take care of this when I receive it (hopefully I will)

Got it - added to infobox, category, and added persondata template

1. Wittenberg is her married name. Her maiden name should be mentioned in the article too.

Gosh, I completely missed this. Thanks. I will add it when I get the dob, since as far as I can tell, a good way to add it is with the dob, like it is on Priscilla Presley (I can't find a wp:mos guidelines about maiden names.)

I added it per wp:mos for bio

• I will follow up with a detail prose & reference review.

Detailed review

Lead

• programs that draw over 300,000 yearly participants. The lead should not introduce content that is not in the body.

Added to 4th para in NYRR section

• The lead focuses entirely on here NYRR work. Consider mention her running career and being a lawyer.

I added a bit about her winning the Marine Corps Marathon.

Early

• played sports that her father coached, including baseball and basketball. is very close to the source played the sports that her father coached — baseball, softball, and basketball. -- restructure to avoid over-similarity.

Done.

• She attended Canisius College, where she was on a champion West Side Rowing Club team, -the source says she was a member of west side prior to college.

Thanks for catching that. Changed.

• Should cheerleading be mentioned?

Included.

NYRR

• first female partner for her law firm. - do you have another source for this? The source says first on her "team" -- not necessarily in the firm's history.

Great catch, I misread that.

• In 2005, Wittenberg -short paragraph should be worked into another.

Done.

• similar to NASCAR's Sprint Cup -is this cited, or an original analogy

Actually, this ref compares it to NASCAR's cup, with the cumulative standings [1]. Note that Sprint merged with Nextel, so the name changed:

Wittenberg: We’re introducing for our sport a Nextel Cup approach: Who is going to be the best marathoner over a two-year period? That requires consistency: performing at the top of your game over several of the individual events. It’s a nice combination of some of the best of what several other sports have

• During this event, Ryan Shay passed away while competing. -I think the significance of this could be explained at little more.

I included that he was a collegiate star and that he died of a heart attack. I changed the ref to one that has the heart attack cause

Personal

• There seems to be enough available to expand this section a little (couple sentences). My recommendation would be to write about her family/personal stuff, then finalize the article with her personal running information. Since she no longer runs marathons, I assume the the 18/20 races are not marathons. Please confirm.

Yes, she no longer runs marathons. I included something about that. I did a bit more about her training, and an interesting bit about her running pre-dawn on the biggest NYRR day - when the NYC marathon occurs.

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Overall Some minor items to be resolved. All & all, a nice article on an interesting subject. She is a semi-public figure so there is not a lot of information coverage of her. I am putting on hold. If you have any questions let me know. Mitico (talk, contribs) 19:01, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Great feedback. I appreciate it. This is my first time in this process. and I look forward to more. This puts the "C" in collaborative!

I will take care of the rest of the stuff when I get her dob.

DOB and maiden name are put in. Please let me know if there's anything else to take care of. Thanks again for your excellent feedback. --Omarcheeseboro (talk) 00:29, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

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GA Pass - After reviewing the changes and re-reading the article I believe this article meets all the criteria of a good article. Great work Omarcheeseboro! Thank you for doing your part, and congrats on your first GA. Any questions, let me know. -Mitico (talk, contribs) 14:19, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

Thank you very much Mitico. --Omarcheeseboro (talk) 15:25, 3 March 2009 (UTC)