Talk:Mary Polly Paʻaʻāina/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 02:17, 8 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'll give this a review most likely tomorrow. Wizardman 02:17, 8 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

"She was called "Polly Paaina" by the Cookes'" rm apostrophe
"by the missionary couples Amos Starr Cooke and Juliette Montague Cooke. " you note them in the previous sentence, so you can just say "the Cookes" here.
"In the classroom students were divided by their age and or length of time as the school. " and/or, at the school.
"who had attend the school" who had attended
"heir only child Mary Paʻaʻāina Griswold (March 19, 1853 – aft 1900) married (1) in San Francisco, 1871, Lewis Albert and had a daughter named Edith G. Albert, born September 18, 1872, and married (2) in Honolulu, April 15, 1886, Charles Ellet Kellogg." This seems really stilted as written, and should be reworded. not a fan of the (1) and (2) either, just note that is was the first marriage/second marriage.

I'll put the article on hold and pass when the issues are fixed. Wizardman 21:55, 12 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I made all the recommended changes. Let me know if there is anything else needed.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:49, 13 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Everything looks good, so I'll pass the article as a GA. Wizardman 15:08, 13 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]