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Talk:Mary Florence Potts/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 09:03, 4 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Doing this review for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive. MWright96 (talk) 09:03, 4 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Infobox

[edit]
  • The birth and death places are missing from the infobox
Added.

Biography

[edit]
  • "Her husband passed away in 1901," - predeceased her
Changed.
  • "and she became the co-owner of Potts Manufacturing Company with Oscero by 1910. Their company produced optical goods." - think the text in bold can be merged into the preceding sentence
Merged.
  • "She passed away on June 24, 1922" - more formal; died
Changed.
  • The Morning Post says she died in Baltimore and was buried at New Camden Cemetry
Added.

Inventions

[edit]
  • "The iron was designed with comfort and convenience in mind. It replaced the metal handle which was prone to getting hot with a cool wooden one that was more comfortable to hold." - I think merging these sentences will help matters here
Merged.
  • "The iron shape was double-pointed for operating in both directions. It was made of hollow rather than solid metal." - these two sentences could be better off merged together
Merged.
  • "that was a poor conductors" - conductor
Changed.
  • "user like its predecessor with old-styled conventional solid metal did." - the word indiciated in bold isn't needed IMO
Removed, along with "old-styled" which felt redundant.
  • "was that they didn't" - did not
Changed.
I used "to" and I suppose that is what was intended.
  • "prevent burning the fingers." - either burning of the fingers or burned fingers will be better than the current version
Went with the latter.

Legacy

[edit]
  • "The Pott's iron mechanism was used worldwide through the twentieth century" - 20th
Changed.
  • "Her innovation of a removable handle mechanism of 1871" - in
Changed.
  • "Gillette's application was a removable disposable blade and reinsertion of a sharp blade" - think the grammar in this portion of text can be improved here
Rewrote.

References

[edit]
  • Reference 3 is missing the access date
Added.
  • Reference 10 is missing the work
Added.
  • All mentions of newspapers.com should begin with a capital letter
Done.
  • Reference 21 is missing the date it was published and the page number is A6
MWright96, I have added the date it was published. However, I am unsure about "A6" since Newspapers.com says it is just "Page 6". Let me know if that should be changed. Thank you for your review! — The Most Comfortable Chair 17:51, 4 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@MWright96: All issues have been addresses. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:31, 4 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Am putting the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 15:14, 4 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@The Most Comfortable Chair: & @Doug Coldwell: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 18:46, 4 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]