Talk:Mary Florence Potts/GA1
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 09:03, 4 October 2020 (UTC)
Doing this review for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive. MWright96 (talk) 09:03, 4 October 2020 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Infobox
[edit]- The birth and death places are missing from the infobox
- Added.
Biography
[edit]- "Her husband passed away in 1901," - predeceased her
- Changed.
- "and she became the co-owner of Potts Manufacturing Company with Oscero by 1910. Their company produced optical goods." - think the text in bold can be merged into the preceding sentence
- Merged.
- "She passed away on June 24, 1922" - more formal; died
- Changed.
- The Morning Post says she died in Baltimore and was buried at New Camden Cemetry
- Added.
Inventions
[edit]- "The iron was designed with comfort and convenience in mind. It replaced the metal handle which was prone to getting hot with a cool wooden one that was more comfortable to hold." - I think merging these sentences will help matters here
- Merged.
- "The iron shape was double-pointed for operating in both directions. It was made of hollow rather than solid metal." - these two sentences could be better off merged together
- Merged.
- "that was a poor conductors" - conductor
- Changed.
- "user like its predecessor with old-styled conventional solid metal did." - the word indiciated in bold isn't needed IMO
- Removed, along with "old-styled" which felt redundant.
- "was that they didn't" - did not
- Changed.
- "weighed around 5 pounds (2.3 kg) to 10 pounds (4.5 kg)" - weighed around 5 ti[convert: unknown unit]
- I used "to" and I suppose that is what was intended.
- "prevent burning the fingers." - either burning of the fingers or burned fingers will be better than the current version
- Went with the latter.
Legacy
[edit]- "The Pott's iron mechanism was used worldwide through the twentieth century" - 20th
- Changed.
- "Her innovation of a removable handle mechanism of 1871" - in
- Changed.
- "Gillette's application was a removable disposable blade and reinsertion of a sharp blade" - think the grammar in this portion of text can be improved here
- Rewrote.
References
[edit]- Reference 3 is missing the access date
- Added.
- Reference 10 is missing the work
- Added.
- All mentions of newspapers.com should begin with a capital letter
- Done.
- Reference 21 is missing the date it was published and the page number is A6
- MWright96, I have added the date it was published. However, I am unsure about "A6" since Newspapers.com says it is just "Page 6". Let me know if that should be changed. Thank you for your review! — The Most Comfortable Chair 17:51, 4 October 2020 (UTC)
- @MWright96: All issues have been addresses. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:31, 4 October 2020 (UTC)
Am putting the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 15:14, 4 October 2020 (UTC)
- @The Most Comfortable Chair: & @Doug Coldwell: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 18:46, 4 October 2020 (UTC)