Talk:Martin O'Malley/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 23:50, 29 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The lede seems a bit short. Perhaps go into more detail of what he did before governorship?
You never actually say the birthdate in the heart of the article. Maybe mention it in "early life"?
The end of the second and third paragraphs of the "early life" section are unsourced.
"In 1991, he was elected to the Baltimore City Council to represent the 3rd District. He served from 1991 to 1999." - given how short these are, perhaps merge these sentences? Unless, can you get any of what he did while on the council? This is a fairly important step in his political career. Was there anything here that led to his candidacy to mayorship?
"O'Malley announced his decision to run for Mayor of Baltimore in 1999, after incumbent Kurt L. Schmoke decided not to seek re-election." - source?
Did anything of importance happen during his mayor election? Any debates? Any advertising? How did he win so easily? He also won a majority of votes in the primary - how did he do that?
"The Washington Post wrote in a 2006 that Baltimore's "homicide rate remains stubbornly high and its public school test scores disappointingly low. But CitiStat has saved an estimated $350 million and helped generate the city's first budget surplus in years, O'Malley said."" - so is this quote by O'Malley or the W. Post? If the former, then you should say that, but at the same time, isn't there someone else you could use to describe his tenure?
- I think I get it now, but maybe take it out of quotes and say "according to O'Malley", or something, for the last bit, to clarify the whole thing wasn't a quote by O'Malley. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:26, 1 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Did O'Malley do anything during his second mayorship, aside from run for governor?
- Did he? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:26, 1 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"The Washington Times reported later that the Governor's administration had issued a press release touting a new $28 million highway interchange leading to one of St. John's properties." - what highway?
"In 2002, Esquire magazine named O’Malley "The Best Young Mayor in the Country," " - how old was he then?
Most of the first paragraph of "Elections" in "Governor of Maryland" is unsourced.
The Baltimore Sun mentions how O'Malley dealt with "rising crime, failing schools and shrinking economic prospects", but the article only details how he dealt with crime, nothing about the other two.
- Anything about this? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:26, 1 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Two of the paragraphs in "Budget" are unsourced.
I think you should mention both Maryland houses' vote totals in favor of same sex marriage. It was a pretty major part of his 2nd term, so a bit more detail would be good. Also, when did he sign it into law?
"Standing in for 2008 Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton during a Democratic convention on June 2, 2007 in New Hampshire" - I'm not sure I understand this. What sort of Democratic convention?
"O'Malley expanded "his exposure among the party elite and activists." - who said this quote, and why is it notable?
"to state district judge Catherine "Katie" Curran O'Malley" - shouldn't this say former, since she is no longer a judge?
"O'Malley appeared in the film Ladder 49 as himself. The History Channel's documentary First Invasion: The War of 1812 featured O'Malley in a segment regarding the British attack on Baltimore in 1814." - source?
I notice some references aren't cited properly, such as 26, 27, 28, and 29.

Those are the main things. I'll put the article on hold for now. Good luck addressing these, and if you have any questions, feel free to lemme know. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 23:50, 29 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I think I've touched upon all these issues, please let me know if there's anything else I can do or forgot to. Thanks. Grammarxxx ^{(What'd I do this time?)} 07:23, 30 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Much better already. Just a few small other things. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:26, 1 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I've fixed the newspaper quotes, as for his mayorship, I feel the information included accurately portrays his work as mayor, before and after re-election. But upon further inspection, I'm afraid his work then has either been lost to time, or it's been deeply buried by his work as Governor, it's almost impossible to find an article with Mayor instead of Governor attached to his name. Grammarxxx ^{(What'd I do this time?)} 00:10, 2 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]