Talk:Marojejy National Park/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ucucha 16:11, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be starting a review. Ucucha 16:11, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

~~"slash and burn agriculture (known locally as tavy)"—is it necessary to mention the term tavy in the lead?~~

Good point. Removed. – VisionHolder « talk » 19:25, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The first paragraph of "History" is rather grammatically confused; please check. Also, isn't the Marojejy Massif a group of mountains, instead of a single mountain?

I think I've fixed it. Please let me know. – VisionHolder « talk » 19:25, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Some points:

"Despite a scientific survey of the mountains in the region by the 1929 Mission Franco-Anglo-Américaine,[4] it was not surveyed until 1937" sounds very self-contradictory. Do you mean that while other mountains in the region were surveyed, Marojejy was not? Also, this 1929 Mission was the same one that brought us Monticolomys, and I think it deserves a red link.

Red link added, and yes, it means that other mountains in the region were surveyed, but not the Marojejy Massif. I have tried to clarify. – VisionHolder « talk » 21:31, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

"The massif was not formally described"—what does "formally described" mean in the context of a mountain?

I'm not sure how geologists say it. The sources say, "the MarojejyMassif was first described by Professor Henri Humbert," so I followed their wording, and treated it like a biological species description. I added "formally" in a feeble attempt to clarify between the earlier survey and the latter description. – VisionHolder « talk » 21:31, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

How about "was first geologically described"? Ucucha 21:32, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Sounds good to me. The change has been made. – VisionHolder « talk » 21:41, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ucucha 20:14, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

~~"Because of the wide range of habitats within the park, many of its plants and animals are endemic to the area."—the one does not follow from the other~~

Good catch! It should be fixed now. – VisionHolder « talk » 19:25, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

"The vegetation of Marojejy National Park is extremely diverse due to the various microclimates, with the wet eastern slope showing faster growth, the dry western slope exhibiting slower growth due, and growth on the ridge tops hindered by high winds and poor soils."—check grammar; not sure what you mean

I'm sorry... I wrote this at 3am, and my collaborators who did the proofread and said it all looked good. ;-) Thanks for catching that badly messed-up sentence. – VisionHolder « talk » 19:25, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

~~"Madagascar's highest but most accessible peak."—isn't Maromokotro higher?~~

Very good catch! I misread the source. – VisionHolder « talk » 19:25, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ucucha 16:56, 12 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the fixes; I'm passing the article now. Ucucha 13:52, 13 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]